Surfline execs field alleged calls from the WSL and also listen to their new Occy voicemail greetings.
Surfline execs field alleged calls from the WSL and also listen to their new Occy voicemail greetings.

Rumor: WSL to buy Surfline!

A potential mega-deal!

There I was, minding my own business, when out of the blue a very profound rumor fell from the mostly clear sky into my lap. That the World Surf League is allegedly kicking Surfline’s tires for purchase. Ooo-ee and a potentially ground-shifting piece of gossip.

Surfline is, as you well know, the most robust surf website with much traffic logging on to check surf forecasts, beach cams and the occasional bit of editorial. It features both a free side, with pre-roll advertisements appearing before beach cam of choice and 30 second visual snippets and a subscription side with… I don’t know. I have never peeked behind the paywall.

The website boasts near 4 million global visitors per month and Nick Carroll’s lost photos. But what does professional surfing have in mind with this theoretical buy? I have ideas!

Since Surfline already has a well-established subscription service, the World Surf League could purchase, slip all contests behind the paywall and voilà! It is now making money on contest views without having to build/sell the technology itself. You and I may grumble for about three seconds but then both of us would purchase Surfline subscriptions because a) the WSL would offer a t-shirt in the deal and the t-shirt would feature artwork by Nicole Kidman* (of a pastoral scene in Lemoore, California)  and have this year’s slogan Work Makes You Free™ emblazoned above the left breast pocket and b) It’ll come with a free Occy voicemail download where Occy says, “Leave a message. It’s me, Occy.” on your outgoing voicemail message.

Also, I think, the World Surf League will shift the beach cams, slightly, in order to catch the least inspiring views of each break thus making ocean waves appear drab and tired. It will also build many beach cams in Lemoore, California that loop images of Surf Ranch waves rolling in one after another after another with a streaming banner that says, “Visit perfection!” that you click and get sent to a travel agency that specializes in inland tours.

Also, I think… I guess nothing else. Mostly that the WSL wants Surfline for its subscription side and to make the ocean look shifty.

Smart, no?

*Andrew Kidman

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
39 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
8 years ago

When is this Zif guy going to realise that the pro tour was just bankrolled by the surf brands for advertising? You can’t make money out of it unless you are using it to sell surf product, and even that golden goose seems to have died.
Surfing doesn’t have the petrol head fans like F1, it doesn’t have trash talking like WWE and it does not look death defying enough on TV to get interest of casual viewers like those crazy bastards riding mountain bikes down mountains or any of those other extreme sports.
Yeah, ‘we’ know that Teahupoo or Pipeline would be terrifying, but ‘we’ are not the audience they are targeting, and on TV surfing just doesn’t cut it compared to the other sports. Especially live, when it’s two guys bobbing in the lineup for most of the time, and then you have shit onshores they are forced to surf in.
So yeah, go for it guys with the wave pool. If there’s a future of surfing where Mr Zif gets his money back it’s x events per year all at the surf ranch per year and that’s it. Maybe they are hoping that one event per year will bankroll the rest of the tour?

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago

The surfline insight for forecasting conditions at the wave ranch global franchises will be a real game changer for the WSL.
(Will this make the commissioner redundant?)

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
8 years ago

Starting to think everything Chas says is a rumor is a rumor made up by Chas. #journalism

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

The dirk stiff guy uses the WSL and it’s drain to funnel money away from the IRS. The guy clearly has to dispose of tons of cash. This seems reasonable to forgo capital gains tax that surely comes from other investments. Just my take on the smoke screen laid down by a 1%’r that has a panel of lawyers/CPA’s to hide it somehow. Plus it makes him seem cool, mystery solved!

PacificNorthPest
PacificNorthPest
8 years ago

I like the speculation that the WSL really wants Surfline’s pre-existing pay wall. This is a lot like Amazon buying Whole Foods; what they really bought was an evenly distributed refrigerated storage network, thus avoiding the need to build their own.

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
8 years ago

“Work makes you free”…I suppose that sort of comment is derived from the rooftop houses/owners of the Surfline cams.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

No, Auschwitz. Makes it a less easy laugh.

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Bingo my man. I went to Auschwitz once, dreary as fuck.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Ziff sure likes owning shit with the word “Surf” in the name.

Jazzy P
Jazzy P
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

…and then SurfGrit was born

chook
chook
8 years ago

cheap shot freaking add sponsored by fucking quicksilver you no what this sight is starting to suck and I don’t give a sandy block of wax if he blew all his cash on drugs bugger me Chas ya sold out already man another promising sight going down the gurgler of tedium

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  chook

Punctuation isn’t just for kooks. You should check it out. It’s pretty cool.

Bin_Chook
Bin_Chook
8 years ago

I’ll be bummed about this if it happens.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  Bin_Chook

It’s OK Bin Chook, this one will be consigned to Chas’s secret Room of Wistful Yet Baseless Rumours

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

This is outrageous. They’re not my photographs!

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

So what was up with walking around everywhere barefoot back in the day?
Toughened up for the reef dance?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Honestly, I don’t know, other than I just liked it better than shoes.

bruddah
bruddah
8 years ago

Dude, the WSL will get possession of Surfline’s totally-tasteful, not-borderline-illegal, “Life in a Bikini” photo gallery! Score! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Pffff. I ignored pro surfing for years. It’s only recently I became vaguely interested in actually watching the odd heat. If it disappears behind a paywall I’m not gonna cry for even 3 seconds. Fuck’em.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I have been using a flip phone for the past six months don’t even care about texting if you need me, be a human give me a call love to hear your voice. As long as Longtom keeps his act tight I’d be contempt reading his recap/analysis w/ occasional highlight of action.

Mike Jennings
Mike Jennings
8 years ago

You think building a paywall would be more expensive than buying Surfline?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago
Reply to  Mike Jennings

What’s happening with The Dooley?

Mike Jennings
Mike Jennings
8 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

We’re back next week.

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
8 years ago
Reply to  Mike Jennings

Those guys at Lipped were giving The Dooley the good old R.I.P. Go tell Jimmy and CBW that “The Dooley will never die”!!!!

Can’t wait for the the next quiz. Will anyone ever beat Danny… No, no they will not.

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
8 years ago

Why would the masses buy surfing, especially from the WSL, when they have the WWE? Until the WSL adapts by putting fire works down the competitors’ area ramp, fosters shit-talking pre and post heat interviews and slaps masks and/or face-paint on the top 32, no one 10 miles from any coast will be remotely interested in dropping a dime on surfing even after wave-pools pepper the inland.

Oldgregm
Oldgregm
8 years ago
Reply to  Goodbye Horses

Back up there, fireworks going down the competitors ramp and face paint /masks are great ideas. I’d like to throw costumes in there too!! Cheerleaders in the warm weather events too…it’s already a circus, just make it a real shit show

Reef
Reef
8 years ago

Maybe smart?, but definetly ‘Sneaky’.

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
8 years ago

WSL buys Surfline and promptly axes Trestles, Fiji and Pipeline cams.

mundus
mundus
8 years ago

Are they going to make you sign in facebook to see surfline? If so, the big brother takeover of surfing is complete.

turts
turts
8 years ago

WSL is clearly getting business advice from Surfstich

Jazzy P
Jazzy P
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

Will they then buy Stab, Surfer, Inertia, I don’t know Three Crowns Media etc… and leave us freebooters at BeachGrit to be the true surf partisans

turts
turts
8 years ago
Reply to  Jazzy P

They’ll buy both beachgrit and stab and merge them together

Jazzy P
Jazzy P
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

ooooo baby!!!

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

Beachstab has a nice ring to it! Or stabgrit!!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago

The surf industry is synonymous with flogging the dead horse. Why stop now? It worked for roller blading…..

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

And here we were thinking that rapid acquisitions in the surf industry lead to balance sheet tsunamis! They should ask Billabong and Quik how that went for them.


39
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x