Your legrope can ice you in myriad ways…
Back in January, the Maui surfer Dusty Payne went over the falls backwards on a six-foot wave and slammed face-first into the Backdoor reef. Dusty, who was attached to his board, was pulled unconscious from the water before being resuscitated on the beach. Busted skull. Busted jaw. But he lived.
A few hours later, in a lesser known incident, a former pro was killed while surfing Rocky Point lefts. Glean Jeans, who was fifty six, was found unresponsive in the water and couldn’t be revived.
What killed him?
According to an email from a surfer who was there, and that was sent to the Surf Splendor webcast’s anonymous rumour line, the killer was his leash.
“Glen Jeans passed away at Rocky Point. I was in the water that day. I also was on the beach before lifeguards arrived. I stayed until they pronounced him dead. There are still rumors of Glen being hit by another surfer/surfboard. However, I submitted your webcam footage to a Honolulu Detective that showed otherwise. No media outlet has seemed to update the cause of death and I’d like this story to be shared. He was dropped in on, but he was not hit. He got off the wave and duck dived under the next one. He emerged and paddled towards the channel and duck dove a second wave. This is where the accident happened. His own board slipped out of his hands and shot up tail high behind him. It then returns down due to the leash. He never emerges from this duck dive, rather you see his limbs (arms?) flailing about two seconds after the impact. He drifts out of the frame to the right and the webcam pans to the left. The Medical Examiner told me that it was blunt force trauma to the back and left side of head that caused him to drown. First responders did the best job they could with CPR. Lifeguards got there quick and brought the AED. They continued until paramedics arrived. But the paramedics called it off and pronounced him dead. I want this story to be shared so that family, friends, and the larger surfing community know the factual events of that day. May Glen Jeans Rest In Peace.
“Ironically, I was also out at Pipeline the same day Malik Joyeux passed away. I paddled out two hours later to an empty lineup. Three-to-five-foot Hawaiian and picture perfect conditions. Only a few body surfers and two other surfers were out there. I paddled out on my 7’0” Mayhem without a leash. I had heard Shane Dorian mentioning there is no need for a leash at Pipeline as the beach is right there if you lose your board. Ultimately it was Malik’s leash that failed that fateful day. The Velcro was worn out and malfunctioning. He took a four-foot lip to the head and was knocked unconscious. His board was found floating but his body wasn’t recovered for 10-15 minutes.
“So leashes both can save you or kill you.”
Ain’t that the truth.
Stretch even the finest urethane and it’s going to bite back.
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Jack O’Neil , the wetsuit pioneer lost his eye because of an early prototype of the leash that they had developed that caused the leash to stretch and snap back hurling the board back towards him and took his eye out.
Wasn’t there a leash invented that had less recoil?
Comp leggie with a tendency to hold my board underwater and shoot it out like a cork in an unpredictable fashion.
What a sublime pose, like an unpopped virgin!
Do you have a Vulcan in your family tree?
Mum picked me up by the ears as a child
Sorry for being a jerk.
Off topic, anyone know what the fuck is up with the combination of Safari, Disqus and Beachgrit? Got to log in for every comment, total ball-ache.
Me too. The things we endure…
any solution you know of?
yep, ditch safari.
and use, what?
chrome, however my tech credentials are probably on par with my ability on the uneven bars.
Or firefox
Not yet, but I’ve got my best people on it.
Oh God, you’re all creeps!
You might be browsing in private mode.
how do I change, brand new Mac …..unsullied by anything requiring private browsing.
i use chrome for this thingy and it works alright. maybe just switchy switchy browsers for your grittin’
4th of July I was just fucking around in small surf and hopped off my board. It springs back and just before I could get under the water, the nose of the board hits me square in the teeth. I can feel a hole inside my mouth, face is gushing blood in front of all the kiddies in the water. Spitting blood onto the sand for effect. Smashed the nose of my board and they had to pick fiberglass out of my skull, but really, wasn’t all that bad considering. I heard that new FCS Freedom leash doesn’t have any spring to it, just rips the foot clean off instead.
Afulu, Nias 2004… ditched my board after jamming the nose into the reef on two consecutive duck dives.. came up, looked shoreward only to have the tail of my board come back at me from an overstretched leash. Luckily I was wearing a helmet, otherwise my head would have been can-openered from behind my right ear to my nose.. as it was I still suffered a sliced cornea and the bridge of my nose was split open as the corner of the bat tail went by, around the face opening of my helmet
Afulu still surfable after the ‘quake?
Not from what I’ve heard, a real shame
I had a fucked experience in Bawa. So fucked.
I’m always suspect of the non leash wearer, whether they rip or not I don’t want to be *beachward of them whilst going under a set.
*Not a word.
landward!
The battle cry of Surf Ranch!
Landward Ho!
Is Landward related to
Mike , Derek,Mason and Coco ?
Yes a distant cuz from Cornwall.
Nothing like a Newquay to unlock the mystery of family history?
show off
“I had heard Shane Dorian mentioning there is no need for a leash at Pipeline as the beach is right there if you lose your board”. Unfortunately, so is your neighbour, caught inside with the nose of your board impaled in his/her skull. Fucking hell, let’s think about this for a minute…
Same as Devon Howard on the The Grit podcast talking about the equalising of the lineup without leashes. Ooowee, all I can think of is ravenous mobs of longboards coming towards my pretty blue eyes.
Everyone should be responsible for their board, whether tied to their ankle or not. We’ve all dodged plenty of tomahawk boards snapping at the end of a leash when someone in front of you drops in. I don’t want to get hit by a board whether it has a leash or not.
Prior to being a fuckwit in the line up, one should always ask, “Could my actions possibly kill someone’s kid”?
Or will my actions result in the dad of the kid I just hit killing me?
Or anywhere else, too.
Ugh it’s a thing where I live and I fucking hate it. Maybe it worked in the olden days when lineups were uncrowded or whatever. But forget it now. Gives me nightmares, it does.
I have nightmares about trucks running me over. Do you think it’s a metaphor for cord-less logs?
Nah! You have a healthy appreciation for fear. The trucks are a metaphor for those that live by the creed “No Fear”. If your appreciation of fear is run over, you might just end up buying a cord-less log and take dance lessons to better your cross-step log game. Which is your greatest fear of all.
It has been a long-held fear, yes.
Ha ha idk I’m a little scared of the inside of your brain dude
Yes there were less people in the water in the mid 70s and all embraced(well most) the new technology of wearing a leash.
It was a thing long before you arrived. Just FYI.
What? No. I figured they started doing it just for me 😉
I did my 5 years at Ocean Beach and can tell you for a fact that every single person who ever surfed it leashless is dead.
Because they drowned?
No, they all had heart attacks publicly masturbating in BART stations. Weird coincidence, but Baghdad by the Bay’s a weird town …
What attracts them about the BART stations? Making sad commuters happy?
Do the leashless actually care about others? Nah, just untethered to reality probably …
Could be a good way to meet chicks.
I prefer my ladies with two eyes.
fussy
I think a bit of a depth perception issue may work in my favour when I drop my dacks. Just make her wear sunnies.
Hearing you. Oakley Blades?
Yeah. Never fucked a chick in blades before. Maybe even an eye patch. This reminds me of the time when I fell in love with a chick with one arm who worked at Nandos. I tried to think whether I could live with the arm and ask her out. I wish I did. Gotta be better than my chick with half a brain and a dry moot.
One arm hey? Hope she wasn’t working at the front counter. Handling money and fried chicken a definite no no.
you only really need one
Ladies or eyes?
eyeballs.
one pink, one brown?
take it back to stab buddy
Like David Bowie?
exactly.
When I was about 8-9 years old, my surfing was nothing more than futile attempts to emulate my pro surfing heroes. This emulation included kicking my board out in all its no-purpose served glory. Then one time, I kicked the board out enjoying the chaotic skyward trajectory of the board traveling out to the length of the leash and then some. That’s when time suddenly slowed and I watched in stunned amazement as my board reversed course and was now being returned to sender. I barely had time to duck my face out of the way, notice I didn’t say “head”. Cost me six stitches in the side of head, along with the avulsion of one corner of the board’s swallowtail. Needless to say, I never did that again. Also, my bright as fuck Aleeda wetsuit had a blood stain across its neon blue chest.
A leash saved my life last summer. I dropped in a serial pest who flicked his board…hard… at me. Lifeguards on the beach, who called the guy in, said the board stopped just before the back of my head as the leash tightened. I had nightmares for weeks afterwards. Board in the head. Brain damage. Drool bib etc.
Please tell me you did poopy on his windshield
No poopy. Ass phobic, generally.
Not even ones own ass?
Own ass too. Horrifies me.
Oh I thought you were into colonics? Anyways a good ol prostrate milking x bj is a thing one must experience at least once in a lifetime..
A prostate massage (as opposed to a massage while prostrate) might be the closest most of us will get to a spiritual epiphany in our lives.
Haha.. big thumbs and all..
Dropped in on a non competitor while surfing in a heat in the 80s and copped his flicked board in the arse resulting in 20 stitches and a permanent smile on the top of the old builders crack . Didn’t poo for days.
Was there redress? A beach fight?
I could hardly walk, and was driven off to Sutherland hospital in my wetsuit to hold the wound together, but when finally the perpetrator got out of the water hours later he was met by an awaiting Boardriders Club welcoming committee . I heard later that he denied intentionally aiming for my arse and after threats and harsh words were spoken they left it there .
Would have made you think twice about dropping in…
…oh it made me more determined! What an exit strategy from the suffering of life.
board flicking at the back of someones head is the biggest coward punch in surfing.
Tell me, was there an aftermath?
Cornered him a few times. One time in front of my kid. Not pretty. Denied it was him.
With a touch of brain damage you might’ve got a well paid job writing for The Australian Woman’s Weekly.
Which would’ve been happily accepted.
are you a reader?
I was when I was 13, but must admit to not really “reading” it at that pubescent stage…
That is super fucked. Biblical style retribution would have warranted. Or wearing a helmet and diving knife in the lineup while repeatedly and reflexively burning the offender.
was it pre “paddle power” days?
Fluoro green arms ?
Fluoro orange arms.
Close . Bum . I had a white smooth skin piping hot spring suit with one green sleeve and one orange sleeve .
As I learned later on in early adulthood, my Dad bought the suit specifically for the orange arms. He taught me how to surf and we often surfed together. He also wore eyeglasses except when he surfed. Not rendered blind as a bat, but close, he later told me that the bright ass orange arms were for easy identification purposes.
Lovely gesture by your father to share his love of surfing with you . I was in my early 20s during those colorful years when the world turned dayglo (X-ray Spex ) and have no excuse but was getting cost price wetties from piping hot and wanted something to stand out in heats and excite the chicks .