Professional surfing hangs in the balance!
Not five minutes after publicizing a two year deal which sees Facebook becoming the official broadcast partner of the World Surf League all hell broke loose. It was revealed that Facebook had exposed 50 million users’ data to a firm with political ties that should not have had access. Blah blah blah lots of hang wringing about privacy and nefarious actors willing to “weaponize” information etc. though the best bit I’ve read thus far has been, “On second thought, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to give Facebook access to all my personal information in exchange for seeing what old classmates are eating for breakfast.”
Funny no?
Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s CEO, took advertisements out in many major newspapers in order to offer The Inertia-like apologies. “So sorry. Our fault. Totally promise to do better in the future.” I don’t like this new era of earnest apology with zero spine. Gimme denials and heartlessness.
But enough reminiscing. The price of admission for future WSL broadcasts will most certainly be access to your personal data, all fine and good, BUT and here’s the thing… I would imagine that Facebook is going to limit what personal information can be sold, in reaction to scandal, which totally and completely renders the deal… silly. Not that professional surf watching data is worth anything but it’s the principle.
Right?
And so the biggest media scandal of the last ten years smacks the beleaguered WSL right in the pocketbook. Maybe. But what I really want to data mine right now is does this latest scandal make you want to not watch professional surfing?
Well?
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Zuckerberg is going to Clay Marzo the shit out of this drama. You’ll think he’s bailing, but then he’ll pull his head up from under water with just his pinky toes on the nose of the board and recover. Nobody is going to delete facebook, and he’s going to pig dog allllll the way to the bank as usual
Really not looking forward to the heart emoticons that Facebook will animate flying off the spray of JJF’s down carves. What else will suck? Having people know you’re on FB while watching the contests. Tons of new boring data points. Bots with spam comments.
My wife, no bullshit, is hours away from suing FB for 100 billion dollars. Best case scenario (from my perspective) is the WSL falls into the sinkhole and her firm takes Kelly’s wave pool as part of their cut. Then we fill it with Chas’ brown liquor of the moment and Beach Grit sponsors the greatest beach party of all time. She assures me this is highly unlikely, but a man can dream, can a man not?
I don’t know him, but from what he says on the podcasts, Chas prefers clear booze at 80 proof. Maybe with some clear mix to throw in with some ice.
What would that pool look like with millions of gallons of Grey Goose sloshing around? Pure heaven.
Those rocks look like the beach at Pila’a
the outrage will be as short-lived as when Kim K uses Photoshop
I wonder if the WSL included a “Morals Clause” in their contract with FB. If so, Fuckernerd’s actions may qualify as those born of a moralistic defect. This would provide a nice exit strategy for the WSL should things continue to get problematic with FB.
ummm, i’m going to guess WSL did not forsee this, and had no leverage to really ask for much in those negotiations anyway.
Just like Kony did.
YES – he fucking ripped
Facebook is like the clap. Everyone who has it wishes they would have just masturbated instead.
I disagree Chas, I like apologies! I just think they should be followed by exceedingly rash acts of atonement.
Ke11y Slater is a Russian Spy?
Nope. Syrian.
I think folks in Syria know a little bit about the Russians, or, at least their planes. Yet Ke11y never talks about that situation?
It’s the standard…I ain’t apologizin’ cause I did it (in 2012 also)…I’s appologizin’ cause I got caught.
Meanwhile…in the time it took you to read my incredibly thoughtful post…The Zuck just bought 10 more acres on Kauai and another penthouse in One Ala Moana/some future mega-condo in Kaka’ako.
everyone would need to want to learn what “echo chamber” means, and even then, they’d have to decide that they suck and are bad for you. you rarely see somebody trying to escape.
Who cares… now to more important things, a listicle of the 5 best individual sections in a surf movie (official results below):
5. Timmy Curran/Dan Malloy – The Last Decade
4. Jordy Smith – Stranger Than Fiction
3. Kelly Slater – Campaign
2. CJ Hobgood – Momentum: Under the Influence
1. Kelly Slater – The Last Decade
Buttons – Stylemasters 1
Brett young – Ripping the Pit.
Look that one up if you’re game
Ha!
horrible, horrible list.
Don’t shoot the messenger…
How bout an axe? See previous comment section.
‘Who’s got the power’ section from The Core. Mid nineties Occy vs Margo vs Egan to Aus-grunge soundtrack.
occy surfing reunion island, concrete blonde soundtrack ( pump or filthy habits)
What about Simpo at HB Pier on the latest Davis Lee Scales production
Pretty sure my old classmates are still eating for breakfast what they ate for dinner the night before; weetbix with long life milk and bucket bongs. If FB think they turn a dime off of that demographic then more power to em.
I’m affluent I can at least afford glass smokeware
Yeah glass is nice and all but nuthin hits harder than a fresh Norco ice coffee x garden hose from next door combo
true
Who cares and Fuck FB, cause wont watch!! But geez Zuck looks fit as fuck in a pair of Nike shorts
Yes, but those Adidas sandals clash badly with the swoosh. How gauche.
I saw that – need the kookslam vid next!!!
he has a horrible adult learner physique.
Yeah i call that the “ET look” – pissweak arms shoulders chest with onset of a gut given time!!
He could inundate himself with 1000 personal trainer ads to remind himself that Facebook/himself is like himself slowly becoming a future fat ZUCKER ?like, unlike …..
And he has a goon tan on his arms.
All the money in the world, could hit any spot he wanted to…but he doesn’t even have a fucking clue. What a colossal waste of money.
Given that mister fluro man lives in Hawaii, why doesnt he have those martin potter tribal tattoos?
Yeah those Pottz semi-sleeves (on a South African no less) are ghastly.
I forgot to put sunscreen on my boys one day when we were out with spring suits. I think they had those marks for 3 years.
Can’t work for the FBI if you have distinguishing body marks.