What works great as a live event sucks donkey dongs as a broadcast product.
Do you have a favourite cause, something you champion? Something lodged deep in your heart? I have two: orangutans and the Kurds.
The thought of those wise old men of the forest getting burnt to death so sanctimonious vegans can get fat on palm oil saturated bikkies drives me wild. Even worse, those Pashmerga babes who made ISIS cry for their mummies now getting hung out to dry by the west so a bunch of recycled jihadis backed by Turkey can overrun their beautiful gender neutral society just kills me. For real. If I had any bottle I would don the fatigues and jump the next plane to Kirkuk. I already have the camo.
But I’m thinking I, we; we being the ambivalent surf fan might have to champion a different cause. That cause being the Australian leg of the Pro Tour, maybe even pro surfing itself, because all leg it has looked, today included, on very shaky ground. Unable to lift itself out of a swamp of mediocrity, trapped in a dreadful paradox.
The disconnect between what the public is viewing, what they say is their experience of the product, what the judges are seeing and the hype being put out by the WSL media machine which controls the broadcast is growing and reaching critical levels. The judges are saying it is fair to mediocre, the public agrees and the WSL is still stuck on a loop of “best ever, historic day, incredible action etc”
That paradox, heretofore unmentioned, is that the Australian pro surf contest has evolved hand in hand with the state, deriving funding for its ability to drive tourism and put bums on seats in regional areas. It works brilliantly doing that. People show up for the spectacle and the atmosphere and the surf contest bubbles away in the background.
What works great as a live event sucks donkey dongs as a broadcast product. A paradox with no resolution in sight. And seeing as the WSL has already shown that a contest – even the acknowledged best one on Tour, Fiji – is not viable without state backing we are in a quandary. Stay with the status quo, take the government money for the bums on seats and bore the global audience witless or take a chance on something new and risk all that juicy, guaranteed taxpayer underwriting. There’s no easy option there unless they want the next 10 years to look like the last 10 and Sophie G has already said that is not an option.
The disconnect between what the public is viewing, what they say is their experience of the product, what the judges are seeing and the hype being put out by the WSL media machine which controls the broadcast is growing and reaching critical levels. The judges are saying it is fair to mediocre, the public agrees and the WSL is still stuck on a loop of “best ever, historic day, incredible action etc”
Between the idea and the reality falls the shadow. Sooner or later, unless Ziff is happy for a conga line of CEO’s to pass through the revolving door, reality must be faced.
Four heats went by this morning in wobbly, mostly flat-faced, morning-sick Margaret River Main Break before two Brazilian goofyfooters, thank God for Brazilian goofyfooters, lit it up and provided premium entertainment. Miguel Pupo, my favourite goofyfoot for years came out with the best wave of the contest as his opening gambit; just a beautifully smooth high-speed, top-to -ottom piece of edge work. But he couldn’t quite find anything equally amazing to back it up and Italo hunted him down with brutal closing manoeuvres before spiking a set wave for the win. Sad. To see Miguel go so early. If anyone has looked world title material, apart from the no show at North Point, it is Italo. But you still get the feeling none of this may matter years end, that the tour hasn’t really kicked off, and remains in some strange sort of limbo.
Prior to that, wildcards Kael Walsh and Mikey Wright took out Wilko and Ace. It was obvious by that point, and reinforced through the day, that no-one had learnt the lessons of last year and tried to replicate the JJF line going right at Mainbreak. You really would think they would have studied the videotape, learned to draw the bottom turn a little earlier before the flat faced wave with its lack of what George Greenough calls “bottom tension” ate up all their speed and initiated the high-speed, top-turn arc earlier. But no. No students of the game on show today. Sure, Bourez looked powerful enough in one of the better performances of the day but it was well down on expected levels.
I thought Seabass summed it up when in the booth, talking about his own performances and how he was frustrated with plateauing and not improving. He was asked how he could improve and he shrugged his shoulders, he had shades on, maybe baked?, and quipped “I dunno, train harder, eat better, stretch?” That just produces more meat and potatoes. It’s something else required here. An imaginative act. Not an athletic one. Thing is, no imagination required now, JJF left a template to follow.
Do I sound frustrated?
I couldn’t imagine the judges are filled with serotonin and dopamine after a another long, long day of pro surfing with a single wave in the excellent range. Count it. One. That’s hard graft for judges, surf journalists and an online audience alike. The numbers don’t lie and the numbers are terrible.
Joan Duru looked very strong in the last heat of the day. Dark horse pick.
John Florence comes up against Mikey Wright in round three. That will be the litmus test as to whether Florence is back on the pony proper or still lost in his own mind noise.
Margaret River Men’s Pro Round 2 Results:
Heat 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 9.77 def. Dave Delroy-Carr (AUS) 5.43
Heat 2: Kael Walsh (AUS) 9.77 def. Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 5.07
Heat 3: Mikey Wright (AUS) 14.17 def. Adrian Buchan (AUS) 9.14
Heat 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 13.67 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 13.16
Heat 5: Michel Bourez (PYF) 14.16 def. Ian Gouveia (BRA) 9.10
Heat 6: Michael February (ZAF) 12.73 def. Frederico Morais (PRT) 9.17
Heat 7: Yago Dora (BRA) 13.76 def. Griffin Colapinto (USA) 11.93
Heat 8: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 14.34 def. Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 13.27
Heat 9: Conner Coffin (USA) 11.83 def. Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 9.57
Heat 10: Connor O’Leary (AUS) 13.50 def. Patrick Gudauskas (USA) 12.50
Heat 11: Jesse Mendes (BRA) 9.37 def. Tomas Hermes (BRA) 9.10
Heat 12: Joan Duru (FRA) 14.57 def. Wade Carmichael (AUS) 11.80
Margaret River Men’s Pro Round 3 Matchups:
Heat 1: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Keanu Asing (HAW)
Heat 2: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Heat 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Michael February (ZAF)
Heat 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
Heat 5: Sebastian Zietz (HAW) vs. Conner Coffin (USA)
Heat 6: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Kael Walsh (AUS)
Heat 7: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Jack Robinson (AUS)
Heat 8: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
Heat 9: Adriano de Souza (BRA) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
Heat 10: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
Heat 11: Joel Parkinson (AUS) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
Heat 12: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Mikey Wright (AUS)
what tough guy credentials? its a big world with many cultures. why are you so sure that your way is the best way? and are you not being the “tough guy” now? challenging me?
was I talking to you?
it will be the event he was born for and his crowning glory.
On the subject of Greenough, I had the chance to ride an edge board made by Andreini, based on a Greenough template. Oooo-eeee was that thing wild and different. Good times.
Idk, every time I turn on the contest it’s been closeouts or a lull so I just give up and wait for the next day’s story. Sorry not sorry, I guess.
Could you get your head around it?
Seen quite a few edge boards being ridden around here, with mixed results.
I giggled madly. If you can get it on trim, it’s a fucking rocket down the line. It’s stupidly unforgiving on the heel-toe balance front — like the opposite of an asym, I’d guess. I dug the heel side rail halfway to China on my first wave. Then sorta figured things out. Definitely a case where less is more. I didn’t ride it in good surf, but man, that must be wild. So much free speed.
Thats kind of the impression I got watching guys ride them: hard to dial the handling in but very free.
yeah — we are tempted to add one to our collection for giggles, honestly.
Obviously, now that the WSL has failed, its time for a rebel tour organised by surfers for surfers.
Quite simply it will be held at the best surf breaks when they are most likely to fire. No prizes, just an opportunity to surf at the best places with like minded surfers, and get some recognition from your brothers and sisters
who do you think would take the crown, Chandler or Rick Kane?
turtle
Bodhi.
God damn it surfing, another opportunity lost. Somebody puts their hands on you, have a swing at them. Woulda got more internet than the contest. No spectator in history has ever averted their eyes from a fight.
If they were smart they’d show this on the WSL website and promote possible grudge match to come.
Thats what gets viewers. That is what they want right??
Think boxing weigh ins, UFC.
If they want new fans from Kentucky to Kurri Kurri, this scrappin action is what they’ll want.
apparently it isn’t what Quik wants or Snake would have left it up
He took it down but not before he loaded it up to Youtube.
Snake knows how you get the viewers in.
As for Quiky, they promote him as this wild rebel, then panic when something happens. Piss weak.
Or maybe they panicked cause Jesse another Quik rider man handling the golden child is gonna affect their whole Mikey image campaign.
Gotta give props to Mendes for stumpin up.
Imagine if Mendes had of actually smashed Mikey.
All Quiks money spent on tough Mikey promotions down the drain!
Thats the problem with an image though: at some point you have to live up to it.
Plus jesse might know brazillian karate..
Im sure that flashed into Mikeys head.
Imagine if the guy with the accountants haircut layed out the mullet wildman.
And thats what flashed into the heads of the Quik ad execs.
Sigh…excitement faded.
They are news dodgers
I think that it is now time to address the elephant in the room. Is JJF a gay man or not?
Yeah I questioned JJ stuffing any box recently?? Who gives a fuck if he is, don’t mean he don’t rip
I would love nothing more than to find out jjf was cheerful
This is the 3rd or 4th year you’ve been seeking answers regarding this question.
About 10 years ago I read an article in which George Greenough described Victoria waves as dead-bottomed, and I’ve thought about it so many times since; waves that seem to roll in without really feeling the bottom, hence creating no ‘tension’ or draw, leaving you floundering on a deep bottom turn.
Nick Carrol made a related comment about Slater’s pond in his Scram Jet review.
Good read, LT, if somewhat depressing.
I’ve tried, oh how I’ve tried, but my interest in watching is waning. This year I’m finding each event more painful and boring to watch than the last. Rollerblading seems exciting. Is there a WRL?
ask wilko.
You do fall over a lot, but….. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
finally someone has identified James B
whats the problem, nearly everything I have “rut”ted has been big fat and lumpy
There is no strategy in pro surfing, no hope for making it what it should be because success in pro surfing is completely dependent on luck. Luck of a good swell, luck of good conditions, luck of getting the best wave, luck of getting the best score. Luck luck luck. Pro surfing’s success is completely dependent on luck. Get over the strategy, the useless surf coaches, the professional sports branding attempts, the fantasy team bullshit because it’s all one big crap shoot with absolutely no chance of control. Real professional sports don’t have this problem so you can polish the turd of pro surfing all you want but you will only end up with shit on your hands.
You’re sounding defeated LT
Nah mate, I’ve got a very strong stomach. They can serve up muck all year long and I’ll keep chowing down. Can’t vouch for what comes out the other end though.
Sure would like a day to make me smile though. Finals Day at Bells was epic.
LT, all you criticism points to the wave pool being the only solution, is that the case?
Not at all.
Assuming Bells and MR will remain what do you suggest is the solution to bridge the entertainment gap between beach and screen. Better fillers for the commentary or change location eg gas was firing yesterday
change format.
how so?
I favour a 2 day solution.
First day a leaderboard, Eddie-style day with a cut at the end of the day if you don’t make the grade.
Second day; Finals Day. Man on Man.
so that Delray-Carr kid, he’s gotta be Brodie’s son or something, right? he’s the worst hyphenated wildcard i’ve seen don the WSL lycra. hope he’s better at dragging nets or setting tile or whatever.
“Tucks under the hood” should now be banned by the Geneva Conventions on Surf Commentary. Too much horror already inflicted, but it’s never too late to stop evil.
How do you say laughed out loud without typing lol? Gold.
Cheers.
How about ‘Tucks under the hood of laughter’ ?
… oh fuck. WHAT have I DONE!!!
(Wanders away into bushes with revolver. Muffled shot is heard)
RIP. You seemed like a good guy, in a completey anonymous type of way
Maybe Joe likes tucking under the hood!
“hoodtuck” references are reaching a new audience! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Looks like Jesse Mendes under there.
Wow! His arm is TOTALLY getting TUBED!!!! !
Good read LT.
Only good thing to come out of Margs is new bad blood with Mikey n Jesse.
Angry Jesse = sore Tatiana.
Her backhand may be affected tomorrow?
https://youtu.be/vlwWvg2ERYg
i see a scared guy with a mullet getting pushed around and not at standing up for themselves.
A real mullet wearing man would have starting swinging after the first push.
The town of Cessnock has called, Time for a haircut Mikey, im sorry.
And Hang on did not Mendes drop in on Wright??? he was already up!! I would have punched Mendes in the head or at least snapped the nose off his board
Yellow Labs still have teeth. Careful what you wish for.
I wish to see a man not let another man push him around a parking lot. Thats real life, not in a surf heat. Clearly the mullet is not the alpha male here.
Perhaps his scolding had some merit and he knew it.
With right on my side dare I face an army of 10,000 men.
Confucious/kanye – cant remember
I see a smart guy not getting in a biff with the entire surfing population watching.
smart because he would loose or do you not have the right to physically defend yourself in australia?
Did Mikey fuck your missus or something brah?
that was a serious question I asked. people love to watch a good fight. do you let people push you around like that? choke holds end situations like that quickly without punches thrown. make them submit and then walk away. where I live if a person pushes you than you better take them out quick or run away, because they dont stop with just a push.
..they both walked away without expensive dental work needing to be done. Is that not better than ‘where you live’?
no, im not scared and I can defend myself and I dont drop in on people or get in their way so I got no problems
Wright would crush that Christian fuckhead in scrap.
body language didn’t say that
Maybe they just need some Rasta friendship bracelets.
WWAD What Would Andy Do?
Don’t you think the body language said “lots of contract money gone if I punch him.” ..?
No, didnt see that. why would someone lose contract money for defending himself?
Brazzo forget which country he’s in?
He forgot a few things by the looks of things, I’m sure it must be annoying to be on the CT and Quik paying you less than Mikey (this could be untrue)!
And we thought Kelly was a tight arse… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Wtff.
Is this carnt for real. People looking for money for operations and him to repair his 4th or 5th property.
Somebody please do some digging on this BS.
What is wrong with some people?
I heard a old school hell margz local say “Yea its a B grade wave but thats cool because we are B grade surfers”.
WSL got sold a micky finn backing margz in.
Is it too much to say that since Kelly busted out at Trestles all those years ago, that NO ONE has taken a great leap of creativity during a surfing event. Andy used animal aggression to win, Dane didn’t win anything, Filepe and Gabby have shown flashes, Joel and Mick perfected a meat and potatoes rail game. JJF did three turns here last year and the world went batfuck. Where is the next performance leap coming from?
You mean Fletcher busted out at trestles all those years ago. Large surf is where the performance leap is happening now. There is only so much you can do on a small wave with a tiny board.
tell that to the all the people investing in pools.
I agree with the first part but not the second.
ok, tube riding keeps getting better on small waves. Airs are certainly a performance but they seem more acrobatic than actual wave riding to me. Clay marzo is pushing his turns and JJF would be experimenting much more if he wasn’t chained to the Nike contract.
Please enlighten us with some brilliant wordsmithery on the whole, ‘Jesse Vs Mikey Carpark Boardpoking Bitchfest’
MW: “Mmmm, uh I like the way your stickers don’t match your tail pad…”
JM: “Ooooh! You bitch!!”
(Handbag flapping commences.)