It's a world first! Beach starts!
Two days ago, while at dinner with a lank blonde whose cheeks were glazed with gravy and some grains of yellow rice were stuck to her mouth, I found myself lost down the Instagram hornpipe.
One post, of the Hawaiian cinematographer Aaron Eveland push-starting a foil board, captivated me. A world first.
I repurposed the clip for BeachGrit’s Instagram and was rewarded with a little over six hundred thousand views.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bj-o5R0HzPA/?taken-by=beach_grit
I spent the last couple of days trying to get one of the stars involved, and a few minutes ago spoke to Aaron although work commitments meant he had to whisper and asked if I might call back at a convenient time.
As it transpired, the beach starts were because Aaron and his pals, including Eric Sterman and Josh Amundson, wanted to get towed behind a drone but the little bird didn’t have enough heft to move ’em from a standing start.
And, hence, necessity as the mother of invention, the gang worked out how to beach start prior to the tow.
Of course, I wasn’t the only one chasing the reveal. The WSL’s Peter King just released this short of the beach starts at work. It’s like watching harlequins dancing in the wind.
Like puppets whose strings are being pulled etc.
Watch!
haha cool
just what we need in byron more wankers from the city moving here with one of these, tune in, turn on, fuck off..have a nice day somewhere else.
try doing that when there are waves
I love it. Could you imagine racing straight at the Wedge or Waimea like that?!
If I ever die, for whatever reason, and I am certain I will, be it car crash, strangulation, a mild aisle 3 shopping trolley collision or a ruptured heart, split down the middle by the weight of the world, let it be known that it was because of the drones, because of the kids riding foils and their dads’ deeply dirty smart phones.
without a wave its like the pogo stick of the sea.
I couldn’t give a fuk how they get going so long as the cunts stay off the waves.
Get out to sea ya mongrels.
No credit for grabbing mother ocean like a plastic wrap six-pack of cheap beer?
Nope. Not from me.
Them and their bastard kin from hell, SUP
Fuck off out to sea.
David + Chas + Matt = Davey Crockett & Tubbs* **
* you can’t spell “Tubbs” without Tub & bs. That’s existential crisis my friend.
** remind Chas that the FSFF is as close to a jury trial handing down judgment on Chas’ leaps n’ bounds accomplish meants that once an adjacent always an adjacent can accomplish. And for that, be well, be weller, be wellest. And have an excellent time in bask country.
I’m a little concerned Otto. Either you put an unhealthy amount of fixated-thought into this, or you are experiencing schizophrenia’s manic rapture phase. Have the wife change the combo on the gun safe for couple of weeks
Just one problem. Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. That’s why I keep the wife locked up in the gun safe instead of my guns. She’s got a hair trigger, smart bullets and even her ricochets are precision guided.
Noa Deane just released a Ben Folds-esk kinda album. Chas, if you’re done speaking about your book, could you please turn your attention to this. Thanks.
Ben Folds, really? I’m so surprised. Brief review?
Noa: “Hey Otto! Could you write a review of my new album?”
Me:
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……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
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Noa: “Great! Thanks man! Glad you liked it!”
I was making reference to Ben Folds, the multi-instrumentalist. It seems that Noa plays all but the drums on a couple a tracks. Who’da thunk it? His album is, as expected, 90’s grunge influenced.
Oh, oh, oh- I see. Yeah, 90s grunge was exactly what I expected.
Stab will scoop Beach Grit with a picture of someone who cut their dick off while foiling, since they no longer show pics of titties.
Well, how else can Stab Scab get “swipe rights” on Tinder?
Mostly because I couldn’t be less interested in foiling, but I had no idea this wasn’t what they normally did.
Me neither but, then, two weeks ago, I was talking to a world-renowned shaper, a purist I suppose, who said, “I’m a fucking foil evangelist.” He said he foiled every day, told me it was “like flying” and that it was also “like trying to balance on a bowling ball that is covered in baby oil.” Gotta be something there, I think.
I’m sure it’s fun! It’s just so, SO silly to watch them hop up and down though.
I agree. Super off putting
Yes when done close to shipping lanes or Cortes Bank ! More bodysurfing please ,as so far I have never felt intimidated by someone sliding on there guts sans wind assistance or jet ski or hydrofoil or rubber ducky (IRB) or surfboat or paddle ski or SUP or log .(Bodyboarders can be annoying but they rarely send their victims to hospital ).
Curses. We’ve been foiled again.
Derek is obsessed with making surfing safer through mandatory leashing and shark culls, yet actively encourages water-guillotines…what gives?
Oh he’s done for surfing what McDonalds has done for food! A real son of a bitch.