Watch: This outrageous (little) left breaks
from 7am to 10am every day!
By Derek Rielly
A wave every ten minutes. And it ain't a wave
pool!
Who doesn’t love novelty? A new board, a loose
pair of shoes, a tight pussy (or ass), a different wave?
The joint pictured, Gasolines, is a shreddable little left
created by the commuter ferries that ply the Tejo River between the
crummy old fishing town of Barreiro and the Portuguese capital
Lisbon.
Every morning, between seven and ten am, the ferries leave
Barreiro Port, hit the juice, and, depending on the tide and the
wind, create a wake that foils down a gorgeous, if hard to read,
sandbank. The size of the wave depends on the speed, the boat and
how many commuters are on it.
“Sometimes there’s no wave at all and sometimes they turn
into Pipeline,” the German surfer Nico von Rupp told Surfline.
In this clip, we see the Portuguese surfer Joao Kopke snatch a
runner underneath his pal who looks like the bell boy sent off for
a toothbrush for his master.
It is time, friends, to break out the
pitchforks and begin our march to a town that is very near
Venice, California. Oh, I am not speaking of Gardena or Hawthorne,
the respective homes of twin incel + surf lifestyle blogs
Stab and The Inertia. No. I’m speaking of Santa
Monica and the official headquarters of the World Surf League.
Rage is swelling globably over the very clearly sexist snafu
that occurred earlier this week in South Africa. You recall? That a
man and a woman both won a surf competition and the World Surf
League decided it was a good idea to take their picture with the
man holding his winnings of 8000 rand and the woman holding her
winnings of 4000 rand?
Criticism was swift with your own humble surf journalist
declaring that
the WSL’s equal pay schtick was a corrupt lie based upon a silly
algorithm and that they should all burn in the hottest fires of
hell but only after I write a Pulitzer prize winning expose in the
vein of Rogers and Hammerstein.
A more important journalist, The Sydney Morning
Herald’s Clementine Ford, declared very much more
eloquently:
The impact of sexism on women’s careers is about so much
more than legislation and formalised pay grades. By repeatedly
sending the message that certain pursuits are masculine and that
women trying to involve themselves are just obnoxious interlopers,
society enables the continued disadvantage of those not privileged
by gender. It’s not good enough for large corporations such as
Billabong to need the public to point out these obvious
inequalities, nor does it reflect well on the general make-up of
those institutions that discrimination like this is seen as so
standard that literally no-one thinks to challenge it.
And a group in South Africa has taken it upon themselves to
right the World Surf League’s horribly sexist wrong. Let us learn
about the WLS.
The Women Love Sport (WLS) campaign is a collaborative
movement of ordinary people seeking to respond to the incident in
which a young teenage girl won half the prize money of her male
counterpart in a surfing competition in South Africa.
The question is: Can public outcry lead to positive
change?
We think it can.
Let’s do more than just criticize, and show the world that
women, and men, are willing to show up for women in sport.
This Women Love Sport (WLS) campaign specifically aims to
contribute funds to women’s surfing in South Africa.
If you stand with us please make a donation to this
movement.
We will ensure that the money is used in one of or all of
the following ways:
1. Make a donation towards the female winners at the Ballito
Pro 2018.
2. Make a fund available to supplement women’s contest
winnings in other local surfing contests.
3. Make a donation to SurfingSA to further their existing
work in women’s surfing development.
This is a community initiative showing SUPPORT for all
existing investment in women’s surfing – from sponsors to event
organisers – and is an act of solidarity with female athletes who
battle to voice their frustrations in their competitive
fields.
Please note: We pledge to make all financial contributions
and dissemination of funds available to public.
I support fully, especially the public outcry part, and think we
should still march to Santa Monica. Will you join?
Get rich: Invest in DHD Surfboards via
equity crowdfunding!
By Derek Rielly
Warning: "You may lose your entire investment, and
you should be in a position to bear this risk without undue
hardship."
Are you good at picking winners in the stock
market,Fantasy Surfer and so
on? I’m fabulously terrible. Loss after loss after loss.
I would’ve had far more fun pulverising hundreds of thousands of
dollars with a rock or drinking expensive martinis made with
ancient gin and eating stale salted peanuts in some famous hotel
bar.
If you didn’t know, Stephanie Gilmore, Mick Fanning and Matt
Wilkinson all ride DHDs. Do they work? Does a Pope shit in the
woods?
Wanna hang on my shoulder and read the prospectus?
In the last four years, the company has achieved
considerable growth and attracted talented management that are
focused on brand positioning and amplifying distribution channels.
International sales represent 35% of revenue and with the
introduction of EPS surfboards, DHD is well placed to increase this
share. The company has also acquired the iconic Modom brand.
As an established and innovative brand with existing offshore
production relationships, work practices and product ranges, Modom
is the key to expanding the product range of DHD and tapping into
the surf accessory industry. Modom also has a loyal customer base
and its own impressive riders Craig Anderson and Taj
Burrow.
DHD is raising capital to increase inventory, invest in
product innovation and marketing. Alongside and in addition to
these plans, the company also has major growth opportunities in the
EPS and soft surfboard market as well as accessories and
fashion.
If you’re new to the speculative game or don’t have much cash to
throw around, Equitise will relieve you of up to ten thousand
Australian dollars.
Before you invest your lifesavings, please be aware that,
Crowd-sourced funding is risky. Issuers using this facility
include new or rapidly growing ventures. Investment in these types
of ventures is speculative and carries high risks.
You may lose your entire investment, and you should be in a
position to bear this risk without undue hardship.
Even if the company is successful, the value of your investment
and any return on the investment could be reduced if the company
issues more shares.
Your investment is unlikely to be liquid. This means you are
unlikely to be able to sell your shares quickly or at all if you
need the money or decide that this investment is not right for
you.
Even though you have remedies for misleading statements in the
offer document or misconduct by the company, you may have
difficulty recovering your money.
There are rules for handling your money. However, if your money
is handled inappropriately or the person operating this platform on
which this offer is published becomes insolvent, you may have
difficulty recovering your money.
Those three White Noiz's at the front (the
Holy Grail just got sold) of the rack are for sale for five hundred
Australian dollars apiece. Free beer included!
Buy: Craig Anderson’s prized HS
surfboards!
By Derek Rielly
Five hundred dollars apiece! Plus free Japanese
beer…
If you’re kicking around Sydney’s northside and you’ve
got a few c-notes in your billfold, I can’t think of a
better way to liberate that cash than with the purchase of one of
Craig Anderson’s old-ish surfboards.
Several Februarys ago, I watched as a Jew supplicated
himself before Craig at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem; the day
before at the Jaffa Gate, American girls had swooned as Craig
roared past on a Segway, your reporter in the hottest pursuit!
Craig, who turns thirty this year, is a surfer whose surfboards
matter, I think. And if you go to the Hayden Shapes headquarters,
in Sydney’s Mona Vale, today and tomorrow, you can buy one and
examine a few others.
WSL*: “Confirmed: Women’s WCT trophy to be
same as men’s!”
By Derek Rielly
*World Sharkfeed League confuses and exhausts surf
fans!
Do you like satire spooned onto your morning
gruel? I do, and this is a bonanza.
Although it is unclear how long this one-day old Instagram
account will exist given its use of the WSL logo and initials etc,
we must enjoy while we can, especially since it’s driving surf fans
nuts.
Twelve hours ago, the IG account @worldsurfleagues appeared.
Shortly after, it had 4712 fans.
sophiemhickey@brianneworth !!! one small step
towards equality…one very small step. colgcThe size of the trophy? So thats equality?
🤔😂😂 harpy_harvey@colgc 🤯 don’t worry about equal prize
money just give them the same trophy 🤣 neeskapetaWas the trophy the only thing of even
footing? Prize money? Air time? virginievdh👍👍👍 lukeweinertI thought size doesn’t matter
#joking chanymullinsYay, well done @wsl 🙂 lillypollardGood start WSL. Now prizemoney. artesurfIt was half the trophy before? Thought it
was just a diferent disign…
A post that announces “the acquisition of soul surfing” was met
with similar confusion.
From rabid, but stupid, surf fans.
mdennu98Money money money. That’s what it’s all
about ey therealferbersacYou must be kidding right surfing
is not about money at least it wasn’t until you took over 🤑 worldsurfleagues@therealferbersac it’s all about
money now, it used to be drugs, but now it’s just hard cash 💰 lapuyadelavida😢 mdennu98@worldsurfleagues Soul? Arsehole!
A third post festoons a photo of Chiba with a Slater/WSL
pool.
Now, the standard cure for depression is drugs, exercise and so
forth. But isn’t this an all-size-fits beatitude for gloom in
general?
And how long y’think before this account gets yanked?