Discover the pro surfers who deliver esoteric
verbal husks!
Long ago, I lusted to talk to the pro
surfers. What a thrill it would be to penetrate their
secretive little world and liberate kernels of truths.
What secrets would unfurl before me?
The truth, as I would later discover, is that interviewing
professional surfers is a frustrating exercise. I still dine on the
story of interviewing one of the best in the game and after a
handful of futile questions, I retreated to a standard to at least
get some keystrokes happening.
I asked, “What boards are you riding?”
He replied, “Whoa, these questions are heavy.”
I vowed never to interview the surfer again and never have.
Finding truth and insight while interviewing what we call
“athletes” is a rare and infrequent experience.
But, sometimes, a surfer will come along and reveal the most
volatile elements of his soul. Below I list my five favourite
surfers to interview.
1. Andy Irons
Oh, he was the most dynamic of motherfuckers. The expression
“wear your heart on your sleeve” was constructed to explain the
glory of Andy Irons. If he was bummed, he’d tell you; maybe he’d
wanna fight you. But, mostly, if you called, if you shoved a
recorder near his mouth, he lit up. No one was more accessible or
more honest. Paradoxically, Andy’s insecurity about his surfing and
an obsession with money, fuelled his interview energy. I
interviewed Andy from age 17, when we both went on our first big
magazine trip together, until a couple of weeks before he died in
2010. The tension between love and hate, between success and
failure, between life and death was forever apparent.
Notable quote:
What childhood dreams have stuck with
you?
“It’s usually, I’m on top of a mountain and I’m trying to
stand on the pinnacle without falling off. The wind gets really
strong and it turns into this radical Wizard of Oz trip with the
wind coming up and with lightning bolts appearing around. It starts
to rain and the mountain starts getting real slippery. What does it
mean? Probably, that I’m trying to hold on.”
Read Andy’s interview here.
2. Mason Ho
Where did this kid come from? Sunset Beach, North Shore? Son of
Michael Ho? Bro of Coco? Nephew of the world champ Dez Ho? I always
clear the decks for a least an hour when I get Mason on the line.
Everything from his accent to his vision on surfing, life, girls,
sex, is an audacious madness that leaves me spellbound. Mason was
never shackled with a serious sponsor that’d ever demand he
retract his more startling comments. Mason is alive, he’s with us
and, right now, he reigns supreme.
Notable quote:
“I’ve had a few good fights. I’ve never really gotten too
beaten up, though. I like to talk it out and do it nicely, like
what just happened recently at Deserts (Desert Point, Lombok,
Indonesia). I don’t want no problems after. I like to be
respectful. I’ll say, “I’m sorry you’re pissed, and I respect you
big time, but you look down to fight and I’m down to fight, so
let’s go in, fight, then shake hands and have a beer afterwards.”
That’s my theory. If you’re going to fight, respect ’em and they’ll
respect you back and maybe not tag you so bad if they catch you
good. If they call me a bitch, at least I tried. I’ll come in and…
bang… dynamite! When I was a kid, an Aussie guy cracked me
really good. We made friends ’cause I elbowed him in the face and
he was all stoked. That was on the Gold Coast.”
Read Mason’s interview here.
3. Noa Deane
Another surfer with a superb touch when it comes to
interviews. The kid from Coolangatta on the Gold
Coast might’ve floundered on stage at the Surfer Poll but, for Noa,
surfing is not just a dumb jock sport but the sacred vehicle of
life. He takes it more seriously than you’d think. Dane Reynolds
recognises his uniqueness, as he does Craig Anderson’s. And talk?
Noa embraces interviews and he hits the spot.
Notable quote:
“Hey, I’ve got a good story for ya! We went to this place
called Ifrane, an alpine snow town in the Atlas mountains. The day
before we were online picking a house to stay out. There was this
one that was real sweet but it was 200 euros and I was, like, fuck
that, that sounds too expensive for one night. It would’ve been
sweet once we’d split it up but, then, fuck, we went to this other
joint. It looked sick. Old school. It fucking had a garden. Snow
out the front. We turned the fireplace on and everything started
going downhill from there. Why are the window’s boarded up? Jay
goes to the toilet downstairs and sees all these lipstick kisses on
the back of the door. On the terrace there was graffiti that said,
you died tonight! And in the backyard there was this creepy dude
cutting up wood. All the mirrors were smashed. One bed had all
these weird stains. It was so sketchy. The lady who rented us the
house kept asking us if we wanted hookers. Are you sure you don’t
want hookers? And the lady pointed at one door and said, don’t go
in this door. It was wigging me out that we were obviously staying
at a haunted hookers house. I slept with my fucking shoes on and
shit and tried to green out but I totally kooked it. But I got to
sleep for one second and felt this thing poke me in the back. Are
you fucking kidding me? I started stressing out for hours, trying
to put alarm clocks on to wake everybody up. By the time we got
out, it was, fuck yeah, we survived that. Fucking hell, that was
the heaviest thing that’s ever happened to me. I was so tripped out
the next day but psyched that it happened, just cause you got that
story to tell.”
Read Noa’s interview
here.
4. Mitch Crews
I had no idea that this one-year-on-the-WCT surfer could
string a sharp sentence together. And, then, on a
winter’s night on a rooftop at a mutual pal I found myself
enthralled by how well he harnessed his meagre education into a
whirlwind sweep of life. “I have to interview you!” I winked. And I
haven’t stopped!
Notable quote:
“I felt very awkward in the competition area because I’m
really social and felt like I had to go through the charade of
putting my headphones on and then staring at the camera all strong.
I lost interest during the year because, straight up, I’m not ready
to sacrifice all the cool things in life to go for those big
competitive goals. I’ve gotta wait until that kicks in. I’m only
24. I like being 24 and a normal dude and getting to have fun and
meet people and drink coffees and go out in clubs and do that sorta
shit. And, truthfully, I’m not good enough at surfing yet. I need
to put in a hard year of getting better.”
Read Mitch’s interview here.
5. Jeremy Flores
Very much like Andy. Sometimes eggy, often
ready to blow his chains. The time of the sham is over for Jeremy
and, although he risks turning into a serial complainer, when he’s
on, he’s on.
Notable quote:
“I’ve always been honest, always said it like it is. A lot
of people respect that. A lot of people don’t. So there’s always
going to be people talking shit. I’ve always been true to myself
and the people in my entourage and the people that believe in me.
The rest, to tell you the truth, I don’t give a… I don’t
really care. As long as I’m not fake. In surfing, nowadays, there’s
a lot of fake-ness. So much fake. People are so fake. Most of the
guys are so fake. I know it because I know all of ‘em and they’re
all such legends and such cool guys but then through the media you
see a different person. That’s something that scares me and
something I never want to do. I want to stay true. People like me
and people don’t. But people see the real me.”
Read Jeremy’s interview here.
