“I’m Losing it!” Former Pro Surfer-Comic
Turns Chart-topping Dance Music DJ!
By Derek Rielly
Oh he just…sends it!
The last time the Gold Coast pro surfer Paul Fisher
called me was five or six years ago. It was eight pm and I
was about to sit down to a delicious dinner with my (then) wife and
(still) two sons. It was a Skype call from America, three in the
morning or thereabouts in LA, which gave it some importance.
I removed my bib, drained my pitcher of department store red
wine. (Family man.)
Was Fisher in trouble? Did my little pal require serious
counsel?
As the pixels settled down to a clear picture, Fisher appeared
and ordered a girl to “Show Derek ya tits! Ha ha ha ha ha!”
And so on.
Recently, Fisher, who used to perform in a DJ duo called Cut
Snake with the former pro Leigh Sedley, released the track
Losing It which has been wowing crowds at music
festivals around the world.
From the website EDM Sauce.
“Losing It” has been one of the most played ID‘s in DJ sets all
summer. From tech house DJ’s to Hardwell last week at the main
stage of Ultra Europe, “Losing It” has fans losing it all over the
world. With distinct tech house sounds as well as a super groovy
house drop, “Losing It” is a track that’ll be in my rotation for a
LONG time.
From Australia’s national youth broadcaster Triple J:
FISHER has dropped a banger that house music heads have been
frothing for since its live debut last year. Despite only
being released today, ‘Losing It’ has already amassed over 13,000
hits on Shazam and millions of views online. That’s largely thanks
to DJs spinning rips in their sets from video of FISHER playing
playing the track live in one of his two Coachella 2017
sets.
Following on from ‘Crowd Control‘ (Best New Music in April), ‘Ya Kidding‘ and ‘Stop It‘, ‘Losing It’ lays down a
throbbing bass-aided beat that’s sure to bring blisters to your
feet, whether in your loungeroom, at the club, or alongside
thousands of fellow fans when he tour as part of Listen Out festival.
Dance music fans on Reddit thrilled to his live sets at
Coachella.
HE SENDS IT WITH A HANDFLICK!!! Never have I seen such a
bold nonchalant dj maneuver.
holy fuck what an ID. This dude is far and away my #1 DJ I
want to see live this year.
Just saw him in Brooklyn this past weekend at Schmanzki.
It’s quite possibly the worst venue in NY. Easily the worst ive
been to, so heads up to anyone else. Despite the venue, he was
hands down one of the most fun sets i’ve been to and i’m not even a
huge house fan. Dude’s energy is infectious.
Watch here!
(And, here, surfing Shippies with Ryan Hipwood and Mark
Mathews.)
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Gabriel Medina wins Tahiti Pro: “In the age
of the rise of machines the sheer beauty of Tahiti needs
defending!”
By Longtom
Your writer gripped from start to finish on final's
day!
Sometimes it feels like being in a minority of one to
admit to loving and being gripped from start to finish by small
Teahupoo. But that’s the fucking truth, your Honour.
The heat-turning drama, the capriciousness of thousands of miles
of empty South Pacific ocean, unforseen and unforseeable until
seconds before impact. The sheer beauty. And it does, in the age of
the rise of the machines, need defending.
The Tahitian program, as Filipe described it. If you haven’t
experienced it, it’s the kindest program on Earth.
Toledo, with his semi-final finish, maintains a 6000-point
margin to event winner Gabriel Medina, who leapfrogs a struggling
Julian Wilson. Filipe’s razor-sharp whips on a quad that looked to
be the best board in the competition was more than enough to
account for for February in quarter one, despite judges engineering
phoney drama by stripping Toledo of priority with three minutes to
go by inspecting a wide set wave.
Owen Wright’s jedi tube skills came to the fore in quarter two
with a deeply threaded foamball ride under Wade Carmichael’s nose.
Positioning at Teahupoo, from three-foot to ten-foot is a question
of inches. The most frightening sight I’ve ever seen in surfing is
looking over my shoulder into the gaping techni-coloured maw of a
Teahupoo ten-footer with Owen Wright throwing himself over the
ledge.
Did you know Italo had a four-blot winning record against
Medina?
Italo plays the opening stanza submissive, pacifying Medina. A
pacified Medina is a confused Medina. He defines himself in
conflict. Italo opens with a confused west bowl ride, flubbing the
tube and turning a six into a three. From there, Medina is perfect.
There is a premium attached to mastery of Teahupoo, even when small
and judges have to pay attention. The ocean goes quiet and remedial
action is denied to Ferreira.
Grumpiness, indignation even outrage are fashionable. I count
myself one of the worst offenders.
Allowing for that an honest accounting of what is on display is
appropriate, even necessary. The broadcast is stunning: camera
angles, replays, even Barton’s commentary. Seamless, as miraculous
as modern dentistry, minus the price tag. I’ve always counted
myself one who would never pay but watching Medina I found myself
recanting. I think I would pay… for a stripped down Tour in Grand
Slam locations.
The alternative: the great dumbing down in search of a mass
audience is too easy a dead horse to lay the boot into.
J-Flo simply waits and surfs perfectly the few set waves that
come in his QF against Kolohe. Easy win.
Owen has a long elbow pinned to the face of Filipe with twenty
minutes to go in their semi-final. At the eighteen-minute mark
Filipe tries to break free with a brace of rides. In five minutes
he rides four waves, a clutch of fours, then a five. The heat drips
down and despite Toledo’s valiant chipping away he can’t bridge the
divide. A semi-final finish at small Chopes won’t silence the
critics but it will be critical in World Title calculations.
Medina’s perfection continues against Flores in semi-final two.
This time under priority, which had, up till now, been reliable
bodyguard for winning leads. Two waves, two clean air makes and a
repertoire of sizzling turns ridden into the board width crack in
dry reef. On an oily calm morning in Tahiti the sound of hoots and
the whirring clicks of camera motor drives drives Flores into
distraction. The veneer of patience is shattered. His best wave is
underscored by a point and a younger Flores would have shown a more
vigorous displeasure with the injustice. Maybe he has learnt that
judges hold grudges too. In the end it mattered not. Medina was
through.
The Tahitian program. I stay with Ginette and Papa. Ginette has
kindly eyes, so does Papa. He’s a mariner, an engineer of sorts
responsible for the channel markers and navigation buoys. In the
afternoon, I buy the Hinano tallies from the supermarche. Papa sits
on the concrete floor and grates the coconut flesh and squeezes the
fresh milk for the poisson cru. He
speaks no English. I speak little French, a smattering of pidgin
Tahitian. We communicate with silence, smiling eyes. Hand
gestures.
Ginette is disapproving of me because I have become willing
hostage to the day drunks down by the boat harbour. We share warm
beer from a canvas sack in the morning sun. Smoke joints. In the
afternoon there is the long paddle out to No Pass in front of
Ginette and Papa’s house. Their teenaged daughter is there when I
come home to get my board.
“I come,” she says.
I point to the board, then out to sea. She nods.
It’s a very long paddle. Miles. It’s late afternoon when we get
out there. Soon, it is apparent the teenage girl can’t surf. She
sits in the channel. I ride waves.
The last boat leaves and I am gesturing to her to paddle in. She
sits, immobile. The tide is running out, the tradewind blowing with
it. It takes all my effort to drag her back against wind and tide
through the pass.
The sun sets and it grows dark. She cannot, will not, paddle. I
tow her in. There is no panic from her. Just silence and
immobility. It’s taking too long. The shore stubbornly refuses to
come closer. Like Gabe Medina prays to God for a set wave I am
praying that I can get Ginette and Papa’s daughter back to
shore.
Is anyone looking for us?
Then a small boat with a torch shining crazily across the
lagoon. I yell and the boat comes closer. They drag her into the
boat. And speed off. I paddle the rest of the way in the dark and
sneak home.
When I get back the poisson cru is on the table and the Tahitian
soap operas are on the television. Not a word is said. Then or
ever.
And Ginette still messages me every year: “Steve, are you coming
to Teahupoo?”
Owen out-muscles Medina for the opening wave of the Final. A
well ridden fluffy tube. The wind is puffing up. Which
paradoxically makes the judges decide to penalise Medina’s air game
they had so richly rewarded in the semis. His 6.17 seems
ridiculously underscored to my eyes. Past the half-way mark and
Owen staggers his way through a messy tube ride like a drunk
walking home from a Surfers paradise night club. The score puts him
ahead.
Now Medina is rattled. Attempts to manufacture the score fail.
And fail again. The Final seems done and dusted.
Owen takes a mid-sized set apart which looks like the victory
lap. Behind it the wave of the Final appears like an apparition.
Charlie Medina goes apeshit in the channel as Gabe stands in the
shade of the only perfect tube of the Final. It is enough.
Tahiti is always enough.
But will it be enough to withstand the gaze of non surfing suits
looking at “commercial considerations”.
Tahiti Pro Final Results:
1 – Gabriel Medina (BRA) 13.50
2 – Owen Wright (AUS) 12.07
Tahiti Pro Semifinal Results:
SF 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 12.60 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 10.03
SF 2: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 15.17 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 6.10
Tahiti Pro Quarterfinal Results:
QF 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 11.43 def. Michael February (ZAF)
8.60
QF 2: Owen Wright (AUS) 16.00 def. Wade Carmichael (AUS) 9.57
QF 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 13.57. Italo Ferreira (BRA) 7.57
QF 4: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 13.34 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 5.74
Instagram Wars: Kook-of-the-Day bloodies
Wedge Air Mattress Warrior!
By Derek Rielly
Is thrill-lizard Quinn Kasbar an environmental
vandal or creator of gorgeous in situ artwork?
Thrill-lizard Quinn Kasbar from Newport Beach,
California, has landed himself on the wrong side of
popular IG account @kooksoftheday after, apparently, abandoning his
famous air mattress at The Wedge.
In a rare departure from its usual convulsive schadenfreude KOD teed
off on Kasbar to its 625,000 fans.
The response, as in typical in these cases where there appears
to be some sort of superficial environmental crime, was immediate
and furious.
“Ill punch him when I see him don’t trip”
“What a d-bag.”
“kook of 2018”
“Pack it out kook”
“Obviously es mum doesn’t give a shit cause she didn’t potty train
em”
“His servant is headed down to pick it up. Don’t trip y’all.”
“What a tool. How hard would it have been to just shove it in a
damn trash can??”
“@quinnkasbar fucking kook. Ride a surfboard.”
“Fucking clown 🤡”
“Lame ass”
“Fucking Donkey. Pick up your Trash … ppl that litter are literally
scum 🤦🏼♀️”
An examination of Quinn’s Instagram account reveals a feisty
go-getter of upper-middle-class stock who ain’t afraid to throw it,
himself, air mattress, whatever, over the precipice.
What’s the verdict? If Kasbar did leave his mattress on the
sand, was it a little souvenir on the beach for his fans? In situ
art, the sort the well-heeled of Southern California pay millions
for?
Or a long honeymoon dick in the guts for the environment?
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Happiest place on earth: Disney exec. takes
over Surf Ranch!
By Chas Smith
We have an incredible platform to engage with
passionate surfers!
It truly is a fantastic time to be alive what
with global warming/bigger storms/rising ocean levels creating
exciting new waves, a World Surf League and various wave pool
technologies racing with each other to be the incomparable best.
You of course read about Webber’s continued
efforts last evening. The WSL, ears ringing, maybe
sensing the early dominance of their Surf Ranch slipping away, this
morning announced a compelling move certain to cause “waves” on the
Gold Coast and in Waco.
And let us go directly to the press release.
Let’s not waste anymore precious time.
The World Surf League (WSL) has appointed former Disney
executive Nick Franklin as president of its Kelly Slater Wave
Company (KSWC) operation.
Key areas of focus for Franklin (pictured) in this role will
be driving the growth and development of the business globally,
pursuing strategic and operational integration with the WSL and
leading the continued innovation and evolution of the product,
including the wave, the venues and the customer
experience.
Franklin joins the WSL following a long career at the Walt
Disney Company. During his 18 years with Disney, Franklin worked in
corporate strategy and in the Theme Park and Resort business unit
where he led teams across a wide range of functions including
global strategy, business development, real estate development, and
brand and operations. Following his time at Disney, Franklin served
as executive vice-president of strategic operations for KB
Home.
Franklin said: “Having got my feet under me in the past few
weeks and having a chance to see the capabilities of this superb
team, I can see all of the enormous potential and am looking
forward to building on the amazing foundation of work that’s been
done so far by both the KSWC team and partners at the WSL. With the
wave technology, Surf Ranch in Lemoore and the connection to the
WSL, we have an incredible platform to engage with passionate
surfers and also connect with those new to sport to expand the
business.”
Scoring a Disney exec who worked in corporate strategy and the
Theme Park and Resort Business unit is very much a a shot across
Webber/Waco bows. I have zero doubt that they are scouring LinkdIn
for Universal Studios, Knott’s Berry Farm, Magic Mountain exes but
it may be too late.
Put one up on the board for Lemoore.
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“Epic” wavepool breakthrough: “This is
going to fuck everybody up!”
By Derek Rielly
"A lot of crap is going to down the second our pool
proves we've got the best tube on earth," says Greg Webber.
Remember the Greg Webber wavepool? Ridiculous
distortions, rides as long as behind-the-rock Snapper to
Greenmount, Wavegarden being “fucking horrified” when they see it,
cheaper than all of ’em and so on?
All they gotta do now is get a construction certificate and jump
a bulldozer.
The pool’s inventor, Greg Webber, says he’s yet to feel any
throb of excitement despite his debut pool inching closer.
“Something always seems to pop up,” he says. “Until I see the
thing finished, I’ll wait, patiently, for that little moment of
joy, of exhilaration.”
A couple of things have got his blood moving, howevs.
First, at Surf Expo on September 8,
there’s going to be a “big” announcement, says Greg.
BeachGrit believes his USA licensee OCD is gonna to tell
the world it’s going to roll out Webber tanks across the country as
part of the creation of a National Surfing League™.
But we’ll see.
More exciting, in Greg’s opinion, is his brother Dan’s “wavepool
current apparatus” or underwater jets for use in wave pools, the
patent filed a couple of weeks ago etc.
“It gives complete and utter control,” says Greg. “There are
three elements in how you create a wave in a pool. Number one is
whatever you do to create a nice-shaped wave (moving hulls,
paddles, plungers etc). Then there’s altering the bottom contour
which they tried to do at the Ron Jon surf park. But
because water is so powerful the moving plates and machinery were
ripped to pieces. Water is tough. It does what the fuck it wants to
do. Varying the bottom contours is gone.
“The third element is moving the water in which the wave is
breaking. That has the greatest capacity for altering wave shape
than all the other factors.”
Man-made rip bowls?
“Yeah, and making currents in different parts of the pool. You
can have the ability to hollow the wave radically or make it fat
and have it all in a controlled fashion. But also have the ability
to write a program that allows for random movements within defined
parameters. No two waves are exactly the same in an entire session.
No matter how many hours you ride the pool for you could never say
you rode the same wave twice. Now, that’s what’s missing from wave
pools. It becomes vastly more creative now.”
The jets can also be used, says Greg, to still the water
flow.
What’s that mean? No down time while the previous wave’s
turbulence sloshes over the side. “This allows my company to double
our wave rate from 500 an hour to 1000 an hour in the main body of
the pool.”
Greg says the underwater jets and their linked electronic
apparatus can be retro-fitted to any pool which, in theory, means
you could bolt ’em onto a Surf Ranch or American Wave Machine or
Wavegarden.
Theoretically.
“A lot of crap is going to down the second our pool proves we’ve
got the best tube on earth. Then the games will really begin. I’m
ready for it. There will be one company eclipses everyone else. Why
would you choose a lesser version that can’t control the currents?
Why would you spend the same money to have a lot less? It’s like
buying a phone that was designed ten years ago? You gotta have
everything, internet, a good camera, seriously, that’s how big the
difference is going to be.”