Your writer gripped from start to finish on final's day!
Sometimes it feels like being in a minority of one to admit to loving and being gripped from start to finish by small Teahupoo. But that’s the fucking truth, your Honour.
The heat-turning drama, the capriciousness of thousands of miles of empty South Pacific ocean, unforseen and unforseeable until seconds before impact. The sheer beauty. And it does, in the age of the rise of the machines, need defending.
The Tahitian program, as Filipe described it. If you haven’t experienced it, it’s the kindest program on Earth.
Toledo, with his semi-final finish, maintains a 6000-point margin to event winner Gabriel Medina, who leapfrogs a struggling Julian Wilson. Filipe’s razor-sharp whips on a quad that looked to be the best board in the competition was more than enough to account for for February in quarter one, despite judges engineering phoney drama by stripping Toledo of priority with three minutes to go by inspecting a wide set wave.
Owen Wright’s jedi tube skills came to the fore in quarter two with a deeply threaded foamball ride under Wade Carmichael’s nose. Positioning at Teahupoo, from three-foot to ten-foot is a question of inches. The most frightening sight I’ve ever seen in surfing is looking over my shoulder into the gaping techni-coloured maw of a Teahupoo ten-footer with Owen Wright throwing himself over the ledge.
Did you know Italo had a four-blot winning record against Medina?
Italo plays the opening stanza submissive, pacifying Medina. A pacified Medina is a confused Medina. He defines himself in conflict. Italo opens with a confused west bowl ride, flubbing the tube and turning a six into a three. From there, Medina is perfect. There is a premium attached to mastery of Teahupoo, even when small and judges have to pay attention. The ocean goes quiet and remedial action is denied to Ferreira.
Grumpiness, indignation even outrage are fashionable. I count myself one of the worst offenders.
Allowing for that an honest accounting of what is on display is appropriate, even necessary. The broadcast is stunning: camera angles, replays, even Barton’s commentary. Seamless, as miraculous as modern dentistry, minus the price tag. I’ve always counted myself one who would never pay but watching Medina I found myself recanting. I think I would pay… for a stripped down Tour in Grand Slam locations.
The alternative: the great dumbing down in search of a mass audience is too easy a dead horse to lay the boot into.
J-Flo simply waits and surfs perfectly the few set waves that come in his QF against Kolohe. Easy win.
Owen has a long elbow pinned to the face of Filipe with twenty minutes to go in their semi-final. At the eighteen-minute mark Filipe tries to break free with a brace of rides. In five minutes he rides four waves, a clutch of fours, then a five. The heat drips down and despite Toledo’s valiant chipping away he can’t bridge the divide. A semi-final finish at small Chopes won’t silence the critics but it will be critical in World Title calculations.
Medina’s perfection continues against Flores in semi-final two. This time under priority, which had, up till now, been reliable bodyguard for winning leads. Two waves, two clean air makes and a repertoire of sizzling turns ridden into the board width crack in dry reef. On an oily calm morning in Tahiti the sound of hoots and the whirring clicks of camera motor drives drives Flores into distraction. The veneer of patience is shattered. His best wave is underscored by a point and a younger Flores would have shown a more vigorous displeasure with the injustice. Maybe he has learnt that judges hold grudges too. In the end it mattered not. Medina was through.
The Tahitian program. I stay with Ginette and Papa. Ginette has kindly eyes, so does Papa. He’s a mariner, an engineer of sorts responsible for the channel markers and navigation buoys. In the afternoon, I buy the Hinano tallies from the supermarche. Papa sits on the concrete floor and grates the coconut flesh and squeezes the fresh milk for the poisson cru. He speaks no English. I speak little French, a smattering of pidgin Tahitian. We communicate with silence, smiling eyes. Hand gestures.
Ginette is disapproving of me because I have become willing hostage to the day drunks down by the boat harbour. We share warm beer from a canvas sack in the morning sun. Smoke joints. In the afternoon there is the long paddle out to No Pass in front of Ginette and Papa’s house. Their teenaged daughter is there when I come home to get my board.
“I come,” she says.
I point to the board, then out to sea. She nods.
It’s a very long paddle. Miles. It’s late afternoon when we get out there. Soon, it is apparent the teenage girl can’t surf. She sits in the channel. I ride waves.
The last boat leaves and I am gesturing to her to paddle in. She sits, immobile. The tide is running out, the tradewind blowing with it. It takes all my effort to drag her back against wind and tide through the pass.
The sun sets and it grows dark. She cannot, will not, paddle. I tow her in. There is no panic from her. Just silence and immobility. It’s taking too long. The shore stubbornly refuses to come closer. Like Gabe Medina prays to God for a set wave I am praying that I can get Ginette and Papa’s daughter back to shore.
Is anyone looking for us?
Then a small boat with a torch shining crazily across the lagoon. I yell and the boat comes closer. They drag her into the boat. And speed off. I paddle the rest of the way in the dark and sneak home.
When I get back the poisson cru is on the table and the Tahitian soap operas are on the television. Not a word is said. Then or ever.
And Ginette still messages me every year: “Steve, are you coming to Teahupoo?”
Owen out-muscles Medina for the opening wave of the Final. A well ridden fluffy tube. The wind is puffing up. Which paradoxically makes the judges decide to penalise Medina’s air game they had so richly rewarded in the semis. His 6.17 seems ridiculously underscored to my eyes. Past the half-way mark and Owen staggers his way through a messy tube ride like a drunk walking home from a Surfers paradise night club. The score puts him ahead.
Now Medina is rattled. Attempts to manufacture the score fail. And fail again. The Final seems done and dusted.
Owen takes a mid-sized set apart which looks like the victory lap. Behind it the wave of the Final appears like an apparition. Charlie Medina goes apeshit in the channel as Gabe stands in the shade of the only perfect tube of the Final. It is enough.
Tahiti is always enough.
But will it be enough to withstand the gaze of non surfing suits looking at “commercial considerations”.
Tahiti Pro Final Results:
1 – Gabriel Medina (BRA) 13.50
2 – Owen Wright (AUS) 12.07
Tahiti Pro Semifinal Results:
SF 1: Owen Wright (AUS) 12.60 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 10.03
SF 2: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 15.17 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 6.10
Tahiti Pro Quarterfinal Results:
QF 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 11.43 def. Michael February (ZAF) 8.60
QF 2: Owen Wright (AUS) 16.00 def. Wade Carmichael (AUS) 9.57
QF 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 13.57. Italo Ferreira (BRA) 7.57
QF 4: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 13.34 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 5.74
WSL Men’s CT Jeep Leaderboard (After Tahiti Pro):
1 – Filipe Toledo (BRA) 41,985 pts
2 – Gabriel Medina (BRA) 35,685 pts
3 – Julian Wilson (AUS) 32,380 pts
4 – Italo Ferreira (BRA) 30,160 pts
5 – Wade Carmichael (AUS) 25,550 pts
Wow, scary! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
On cause Kelly has been injured tho.
the terrible ink work?
what the fuck its a “rotation over the lip” ..?is it true there are only two kind of air moves in surfing ? Rotationos over the lip(redundant IMO) and Allie ups..?
is the Herb any good in Tahiti??
just mellow bush weed, the way I like it
Thanks Steve!
I honestly don’t see what you guys (surf star groupies, Chas, longtom, et al) get out of pro surfing and competition, all that competing, win, win, win, crush your opponent, beat your chest at the end, it seems like it has nothing to do with someone’s personal Surfing experience. Dont think I could watch a whole heat of that if you paid me. “The best waves ever ridden on the planet, whether its’ 2 feet or 20, will always be the waves you catch and ride yourself”.
I kinda agree with you. But I do like reading LT’s reports.
All Surfing is Competitive. If you weren’t by yourself than you definitely , with or without knowing , competed to catch the wave you rode and probably competed with yourself to surf it as well as possible to maximize the enjoyment ? Competitive Surfing recognizes the fact and you are more likely to be crushed by an absolute beginner or anti establishment hipster or free surfer than a guy who competes .
Competed with myself? Your reply lacks merit, surfing is fun, pure and simple.
I agree that surfing is fun and pure but not simple and must add that your surfing probably lacks merit if your are not trying to be the best surfer you can be , at whatever level or craft that may be on ? Happy to see you having fun in the water though and now that you have decided that all surfing is not competitive I thank you in advance for gifting me the next set wave ?
OK, deal.
I was only joking about the set wave . We will split the peak and you can go right Ok ?
OK, sounds good.
My god, Freerider, fucking give it up, will you?
The dissonance between a soul surfer’s story and their dogmatism fascinates me.
I am assuming you don’t listen music, enjoy art or go out for a good meal because you didn’t make it yourself.
Ok, maybe I over emphasized my point a bit, but I really would rather surf 2 foot waves than watch somebody else surf 20 foot waves, if those were my only two choices. And I have watched ‘very rarely’ a video of someone surfing, occasionally.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
WSL newcore strategy paying early dividends
Dickie Toledo’s brother has let himself go a bit.
Thanks Toin . The big bloke got the chicks while the Laird impersonater/critic s(h)its alone on his hybrid stand up/sit down paddle board / WC ? And Justice for All !
Poisson Cru sounds so much better than raw fish .
cooked by the lime juice bru
Ta LT .Yes I know , been lucky enough to enjoy the fruits of “ La Cuisine de Tahiti “ during my travels as Tahiti came to town up until the late 90s in France where males were obliged to do National Service . ( Navy Base de Contaut on a lake 3km from my beach side dwellings of the time ) . Lucky buggers the French with all the different regional food from the hexagon combined with the exotic plates from Polynesia , the Caribbean , Reunion and Mauritius,and North and West Africa . Beautiful food , waves and daughters . Can’t help but ask how old was “ la fille de Ginette “ ? You noble savage , you .
Its hard to score. The judges scored Flores the same as me. In fact, my scores were so close to the judges this comp, it was scary (for the shared stupidity). Medina’s 6.17 was hard to score and also seemed underscored to my eyes but then it is Chopes. But it was not just a “nose-pick” but the way he brought it all the round into the curl and then rode out with full drive. It was like a nose pick reentry roundhouse cutback kung fu chop; like an MP cutback into the barrel but a nose-pick aeriel reentry into the barrel then emerging. I have not seen Medina literally “glued” to his surfboard for a few years now but he returned to his aerial best this week. I hope he can maintain it for the pool comp because probably only a few guys (Medina, Toledo, Griffin , Italo, maybe Kolohe and Julian even MikeyW) can break the boredom of Kelly’s pool. I think Rodrigues can do good airs also.
Nick what did you think of Toledo’s 5.3 in semifinal 1 v Wright ? A snap under the lip ( critical but not powerful ) followed by 2 quick back hand floaters over the whitewash . Was scored a bit high in my opinion , coming in at 1.37 of a point less then the best wave of the heat, and put him back in the heat knowing a big air could get him a high 7 ?
We could be looking at Brazilian world champs for the next 10 consecutive years. I’m fine with it, but not sure it will translate into the elite global sport that WSL is projecting.
Yup, seems they might be booking on JJ, Julian or someone similar to lead the charge into their brave new world.
Don’t forget JJF.
I’ve got no idea how Michael February is on tour, much less advancing through heats. Out of the other smooth-surfing guys on tour, he has very little of Parko’s power and speed, and very little of Pupo’s timing and heat saavy. He surfs smooth and flowy but with a style that somehow makes that look awkward and janky. Is he going to requalify now? Unbelievable.
This is true and I must confess that I was one of those who looked forward to Mr. February gracing the tour. After watching him in this contest I realized he has no business being on tour. All your points and I would add that overall his surfing is, by WCT standards, weak.
I’m wondering if he added 10 to 20 of muscle if that would help? Owen and Jordy are also 6’3”, but are more proportional weight-wise for their height and so don’t appear as awkward.
Perhaps.
He is the one surfer in ASP history I reckon i would have a shot of taking out in a heat lol. Guy should be on a twinny would go good.
How come no one rants at BLs pond endevours.
Is it because BL is such a seemingly nice guy? He’s like the mister Rodgers of surfing.
want to get on the pay roll?
I enjoyed Barton’s insights, and funny excited noises. I also liked how Chris Cote juxtaposed against Peter Mel showed what an ego-dork Mel is: he’s kinda grumpy, is always right, and likes to argue about dumb shit. Does anyone see this too?
Combative about the esoteric as a form of sport – there’s some Santa Cruz for ya …
imnsho – they’re just as bad as each other, in their own way.
Kinda grating. Spirit caves and bs technicality from Cote and pedantry from Pete. Not super terrible from either but together, I dunno … grating.
Barton calmed right down and got better as the event wore on. He even seemed to make Joey more listenable.
That might have just been relief at no longer listening to Cote.
I can handle what Cote says….just that nasally SoCal high pitched whine gets on my tits.
Maybe he could carry a vocoder around with him>?
I can handle Barton no matter which mode he’s in – there’s some great insights. But what people have to remember is to turn the clock back 35 years or so. He was an arsehole in the water when he was young. Full of sponno dreams. Total little cunt.
Still enthusiastic as hell for comps and for that I give him credit because he, out of all of our commentators, can pass that on and you feel it.
But I rember ……
It was a different period . The old blokes had left for the coast , stopped or were more interested in Heroin . The vacuum across Sydney’s beaches in the 80s was filled by angry young men barely out of adolescence already at the top of the surfing pyramid with often no one left over the age of thirty to keep them grounded . Nice it wasn’t (to be honest it was f’in violent ) but this Golden Era of Sydney Surfing produced Tom Carroll , Barton , Dooma and Occy and a list to numerous to name from Palm Beach to Sandshoes .
Biggest influence on surfing out of Sydney. Simon Anderson.
Fucken ripped in his day. Throw the thruster in, that was massive in a global context. imnsho
No denying Simon or Cheyne ,not to forget Richard Cram and JIm Banks,and their influence on the surfing world . These guys are slightly older and were already formed before H came to town and decimated the core which led to the vacuum ?
My point exacto BL still a little agro spono shit hence his involment with the wave pools , sell his fucken mom to keep his name in the limelight
Turps could be all time if he had a backbone
his problem isn’t that he can’t string a sentence together, its the opposite of that.
just punch a hole in his throat and stick a kazoo in there.problem solved.
Barton was relaxed and very smooth.
Who would’ve known LT has a knack for romance literature!?! Would love to see the wave pool comp writeup done as WSL erotic fanfiction.
F’real tho, best event recaps in the game.
It must be, it sorts out champions from world champions
This article made me less grumpy.
Longtom bringing the A-game for finals day, that was fucking epic.
*preemptive fuck you james b…
I didn’t realise this event was on but yeah fuck Brazil too!
it was never really on…
Yeah, the fans!
Great write up, LT !
“a willing hostage to the day drunks” that’s too funny. lmao
And yea, the steely gaze of commercial considerations would be concerning to the people at the end of the road.
One of your best works I’ve ever read on Beach Grit, Steve! Keep your head to the grindstone on those books you’re working on. You got People™ that wait with anticipation.
You’ve revealed personal stories before but that story right there about getting “Ginette and Papa’s daughter back to shore” was heavy! When you accept Ginette’s invitation to return, you probably shouldn’t go fishing alone with Papa. Might bring Ginette.
The last sentence was like a boot across the neck of the WSL.