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Revealed: What’s next in beer and surfing!

"Seeing everyone drink it is kind of our dream come true!"

Someday I am going to write about something other than the World Surf League here. Not today. BeachGrit was a just birthed little thing when an unknown by the name of Paul Speaker led a group in purchasing the Association of Professional Surfers for free. I scratched my head then and again when the name was changed to World Surf League and again when he promised that billions of people would soon become wildly addicted to the spectacle and again and again and again and again and again every time he opened his broad mouth.

I wanted to meet with him so badly and begged any and everyone for an interview but, alas, was rebuffed at every turn. “Is he too busy?” I wondered. “Too… busy?”

Then Paul Speaker was fired. I breathed a sigh, initially of relief but then depression, thinking the absurdity of his reign would never be matched.

But then, as if by magic, a kindly British woman descended from professional tennis and voila!

We were back in business!

I won’t backward fin you with too many details. You’ve been along for the ride but each and every day presents a bounty that Herr Speaker should be envy.

Like today on Instagram and let us read together:

The Ultra Brewing Collective, WSL, and the Kelly Slater Wave Co set the stage for what’s next in beer and surfing while taking inspiration from what’s truly great in this world — nature and the human spirit.

Mic drop.

(Until tomorrow)

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28 Comments
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Otto

I bet it tastes like Koolaid.

DrunkenAngel

I am an alcoholic and I wouldn’t touch that shit.

Fuck.

Who am I kidding. I’ve necked methylated spirits and even went as low as Balter so it can’t be worse, can it?

Bushman

Be patient….yes it can!

Down right entertaining…..

Mapski

The youth around here are more intent on ingesting mushrooms and rediscovering boards that barely worked for their parents/grandparents. The nuances of shitty beer are lost on them.

PacificNorthPest

The official beer of don’t actually want to drink a beer, but feel socially obligated to hold something + eating disorder

Bin_Chook

Organic piss is still piss.

channelbottom
joeys nosegard

Is that beer too?

joeys nosegard

Without the numbers including Luc, we can’t objectively assess this proposal.

Keith Grace

Organic-brewed Pink Whale Wave Storm Ale… a co-op collective with Wave Storm and Vineyard Vines… it’s coming…

joeys nosegard

What is the alc/vol?

joeys nosegard

Is it in 375ml or 325 ml containers? And 750 ml or homo loving 600 ml long necks ?

joeys nosegard

Does it come in blocks?

joeys nosegard

It’s beer. Is it cheap?

Dogsnuts

Here’s some hilarious marketing bullshit for some ammunition…. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Bushman

Brewed in the San Fernando Valley…wow bet that is some yummy water they use to brew that …clorine…flouride…. arsenic and all.

OffRocker

Since when is a multimillion dollar company a collective???? Corporate neo-colonialism at its best….

Dung beetle

Also the corporate runaround term “made with organic grains.” Save us your pittance Anheuser-Bunch that means nothing. Fuckin pandering bastards.
Are there any surfers out there for whom this is their drink of choice?

Bushman

Was thinking the same thing…GMO yeasts…watered down organic questionable labeling… from the beverage company that’s been posioning humans for generations. Well the mass will think surfers drink this piss and will buy it up.

You know where Kelly stands wit it all…… right there with big Corp USA.

All whores!

channelbottom

Aw c’mon. The GMO scare-woo is pretty weak. Humans have been doing ‘GMO’ for thousands of years with selective breeding. Doing in a lab is just a bit faster.

It’s more the ethical concerns of commercially promoted ‘kill-genes’ which disable age-old farming mechanism of harvesting of seed for re-sowing, which is morally dubious.

joeys nosegard

They are always collectives.

channelbottom

This how one does cross—marketing:

https://shop.moderntoss.com…

James Bickerton

Ah the saga of those Siamese Twins , surfing and beer , continues . From the Beer Bong to the Shoey ? Nature and Methylated Spirits ?

channelbottom

“Seeing everyone drink it is kind of our dream come true!”

What about alcoholics on the wagon? Zat gonna make you happy you smarmy shits?!? Seeing me neck a dozen bottles in 10 minutes and spend the next couple hours listening to me shouting unintelligible abuse at you about the flat earth WSL, with my pants down around my ankles? ZAT WOT YOU FUCKNG WANT?!?

Walter Pepekay

At first, I thought it was “seeing everyone drunk”…

channelbottom

To be fair I thought it said ‘Uluru Brewing Co.’ for a while.

Must get my eyes replaced.

Bushman

No think everyone here dreads that!

astro

This has got to Beth’s finest work.
Who else could do this ?


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