Former top-rated WCT pro calls on Rothman family and Da Hui to strike this North Shore winter!
Doesn’t the arrogance of the elites drive you just mad? Just blood bursting in the temples livid?
It does me.
The upper crust with their cuffed tweed pants and designer soccer slides. The elites with their barely disguised disdain for The People.
Today, Sam McIntosh workaday publisher of the surf blog Stab, trying as hard as he can to make a living for the workaday surfer too by hosting an air competition in Waco, Texas, that I am very excited for, wrote about his dreams.
Shall we read?
We don’t want some of the world’s best non-WSL surfers to become Vloggers to save their hide. Our goal with Stab High is to provide a platform for these guys to showcase their skill in a controlled environment. It isn’t meant to be too serious; just the world’s best aerial surfers, raw, all laying it on the line on the same section, for a couple of hours on a Saturday night.
Oh I dream of saving the world from vloggers too. From the Kardashians and PewDiePie and Smosh and their millions and millions of dollars and millions and millions of followers for talking about makeup and anal sex.
Kalani Robb, who makes video logs for Catch Surf, felt the burn and responded with a call for Hawaiian jihad.
“Not the smartest move talking shit about Hawaiians before u go there this winter.”
CC’d on the fatwa were Eddie Rothman, Koa Rothman and Da Hui.
Oh but Kalani, oh but the world is yours.
It is yours and the Kardashians and PewDiePie and Smosh. You are the future with your millions and millions and millions and millions.
Can you please leave us blogs alone?
To toil in obscurity with our tens and tens until progress rolls us up into a Persian carpet and tosses us in a dusty closet.
Have you ever considered bloggers’ feelings, Kalani?
Well have you?
I miss Ben Marcus
From afar, Kalani has always emanated such a stereotypical, entitled pro surfer vibe that is compounded by the fact that he is from Hawai’i. If it weren’t for surfing, he would be fucked. Luckily Catch Surf threw some cash his way when all the other sponsorship contracts were drying up.
This is true sequel material for North Shore, right here.
This is my favourite comment ever!
Pottz can be as humble as he likes, mate. That doesn’t mean he should be allowed to continue in a job he’s making an utter cunt of.
Wow
Please, expand on this
Hawaiians show up. Try to take over lineup, things get tense and words are exchanged.
On one of the best days of surf I have ever seen, flawless 8-10ft barrels, a very famous big-wave surfer tells the lineup angrily ‘we’re not here on vacation like you guys – this is our office, brah’ and they proceed to block for each other and catch every single wave. Crowd gets angry. Very angry. Every surfer on the point gets angry. Locals get angry.
Local mob assembles and goes down to their place that night to tell them to share the waves then fuck off and never come back, or get beaten with sticks and rocks and then fuck off and never come back.
Harsh words are exchanged. Hawaiians quiver with fear and accept defeat.
Australian guy makes Instagram video mocking Hawaiians, sends it to Hawaiians sponsors.
Things get heated when they find out it who did it.
Tensions flare a little more.
Australian guy denies responsibility, but is guilty as sin and vows to ‘find the culprit’ in a fine display of lying to save ones own arse.
Hours later, Australian guy fractures neck and is knocked out during bad wipeout.
Hawaiians rescue him, saving his life.
Irony peaks at levels not seen since Alanis Morrisette was riding the charts.
Hawaiians behave better in the surf, but are still entitled pricks of the highest order.
Hawaiians go home, peace returns to the jungle-lined bay.
Fantastic. Shit yes, succinct and riddled with information. Even if you made it up I’m still stoked.
… you get a few? Ha ha
all true! Ask the Impervious Blonde!
Yeah I got a couple for sure. It wasn’t easy though!
Far fucken out !
This is our office …. fuck that’s the best load of sponno spin bs I’ve ever heard !
Fucken Unreal.
i didn’t know he dated salma hayek!
Weinerstein sorta dated her date?
Seriously, can anyone point out how this is related to Hawaiians? On top of that, why in the hell would it be interpreted as disrespectful. The story simply states that they don’t want “the world’s best non-WSL surfers” to rely on VLOG’s to continue making a living from surfing. Shouldn’t that be interpreted as a compliment to guys like JOB not a knock on Hawaiians? The whole thing is mind-blowing. Kalani is the most washed up of the bunch and needs to complain about nothing to stay relevant and current (even though he is not).
On another note, I’d say mentioning “Hawaiians” and Ben Gravy in the same reference is about as disrespectful as it gets. Oh wait, I almost forgot that being from New Jersey makes you a Hawaiian at least according to Da Hui. How in the hell did a jewish guy from Jersey become the face of Hawaiian surfing? Its a disgrace to true Hawaiians. Does Kalani even realize that he references no true Hawaiians in his post (JOB, Smith, Rothman, Gravy are not Hawaiian)? The whole thing reeks of idiotic babble. To the credit of Rothman, Da Hui, etc. it doesn’t appear that they are involved in this outside of Robb dragging them into his crap.
I’m not sure how Kalani Robb and Jamie thought this was calling them out. Reads more like hey we are trying to help out non-CT surfers. Kinda seems like typical k Robb and Jamie to me. They’re injecting themselves where there is no real reference to them or Hawaiians in general.
stop being so sensible Kiljoy!
Agreed. Before Catch Surf threw Kalani a novelty bone, he had quit surfing and was working a desk job in Anaheim California. Then decided his little “retirement” wasn’t all that he thought it would be, and that he was long since forgotten via his middle of the pack CT surfing, and “Career Killer” sponsor Fox, which no one has recovered from and found a truly viable sponsor post FOX Surf Team. Fuck off Kalani. I lived in San Clemente as a child, and moved north, should I be calling out my friends to hassle your dumb soft top riding ass at Lowers? Don’t let your lack of relevance show case your lack of competence. No one cares about you Kalani, so cash your novelty check from your soft top sponsor, and keep chapstick handy in case the owners of Catch Surf ever decide to cancel your “career”. ALOHAAAAAAAAA
Speaking of jihad, Vlogs seem like a personal cleric brainwashing you in a real intimate / one on one manner. Ups the creep factor.
Yeah he doesnt have the personality for it, either does JOB but i still end up watching sometimes.
Apart from that, you like?
Is this a potential segue into Hot Nife vape pens? “Ease the tension vlog buddy! Inhale the fuzz”
Maybe the next Stab shoot will be 420 groms in the lineup vaping a cloud barrel around Kalani.
Vaping is weird, would try though.
Oh next time you’re in California, stop by Chas’ house. Lit or Lite. I say Lite, but I’m a weak boy.
So good to see Kalani channeling his inner Rell Sunn. Beautiful! Peaceful!
Ben Gravy is getting 10k views in the first day for his videos surfing 1 foot garbage in New Jersey. WSL had about 2k at any one time during the pool contest. Not exactly sure what that means but if Dirk pulled all his money out of the WSL and paid every surfer to travel and VLOG every day it would generate a million times the views and sponsorship than the WSL can manage. Would also have eye balls on it every minute of the day every day. Most views for the year wins the world title!
Ben gravy is doing more for surfing than the WSL
scared to ask but who is Ben Gravy?
The best daddy you’ll ever have! https://beachgrit.com/video…
Stoked YouTube vlogger from New Jersey. Produces quality vids every day – check it out.
Ben Graeff is a surfer from New Jersey that Barns can get behind because of his childlike joy (& technique) surfing novelty waves, while claiming 1ft reform is “nuking”. It’s surfing’s equivalent to unboxing videos or ASMR. Just as vlogging is “post-filmmaking” or derived from it, but somehow taking the worst parts and finding an eager audience, his videos are barely surfing. It’s definitely not ripping. It’s something else.
Realistic synopsis very appreciated
True talk!
Ben Gravy is Hawaiian?
I can see Albee not giving a shit what K. Robb says.
whats the cliff notes on this beef?
Stab is running a pay per view and JOB is not invited or something?
It’s your vlog, you pound him brah. Wait, is Kalani a judo master like Joel T and Pat (from RVCA)? Watch out Brah!
Stop confusing someone who lives in Hawaii with someone who is Hawaiian. It’s disrespectful to real Hawaiians. I’m almost 50 and lived in Hawaii for 15 years… am I 1/3 Hawaiian now?
Yes! You’re a native! https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Where does he dis Hawaii in the story? Never seen one vlogg/post from Kalani. Jammie O is the Johnny Knoxville of surfing. Neither Kalani or Jammie are Hawaiian. Rothman? Not Hawaiian. Da Hui? I think they are a clothing company now. As Dora said about Hawaii in the 60’s… “Hawaii? What about it? Too many hard feeling there”.
I think he’s taking offence to them saying Hawaiian non comp surfers are making a living through youtube surf vlogs of low quality.