It's an Orwellian Obscenity!
Now, you would think after my most recent Namotu fiasco that I would be on my best behavior double then triple checking rumors that float across my sky. That I would be on the horn with people who know or people who know people who know. That I would be fact checking late into the evening. That one more mangled piece of gossip could potentially sink us and I would be tireless, absolutely tireless, in making certain that only the absolute ungarnished truth gets shouted from BeachGrit’s rooftop.
You would think, but in reality I can’t even be bothered to log on to Facebook today to see if this newest rumor, that the World Surf League is not offering fantasy picks for the Surf Ranch, is true.
Is it true? A wonderful source informed me via Instagram:
Grab a vodka coconut water and let the BeachGrit readers know the WSL don’t seem to be running fantasy picks for Surf Ranch!!! What is this madness? Would it offer up too much enjoyment?Too much choice? Freedom? First they take our wave choice, then they take our team choice, what is this Orwellian Obscenity?
The fact that he used “Orwellian Obscenity” makes me believe it is entirely true but why?
Maybe, and this would be very smart of the World Surf League, fantasy is going away because reality is coming. Have you read news of the NBA’s embrace of real gambling? It is the first league in America to team up with a sportsbook (MGM) and the thinking goes now the door has opened all other leagues/associations are going to hop right through.
According to ESPN:
What did MGM get?
MGM gets the rights to NBA league and team logos, highlights, access to the official league data feed and the tag of being the “official gaming partner” of the NBA and WNBA.
What’s in it for the NBA?
The deal, according to sources, is believed to be $25 million over three years. That’s small change for the NBA. The value, though, may come through the creation of a market for their direct data feed. Now that MGM has signed up, other competitors have a decision to make: Is the access to data that the NBA is offering worth it?
Professional surfing should be right behind the NBA. I’ve written before that surfers are like magnificent horses and perfect to bet. High stakes players could visit the professional surfers on the sand before they paddle out and run our hands along their muscles. It would be wonderful and make for a wonderful time. Surfing was made for losing and winning but mostly losing money. Don’t you agree?
But if the WSL did not close their fantasy chamber because real gambling will be offered at Surf Ranch then why?
What could possibly be the reason?
The biggest question is what beer is on tap
Funny
Fantasy league for Surf Ranch now open.
Kelly’s foot came good for the tub eh.
Can you refer to it as Slater Lake in your upcoming story, even just once?
Haven’t created a fantasy team in over a year, there needs to be decent prize like a wetsuit or a board, awarded to the winner of each competition, otherwise I would be better off doing the euromillion lottery in order to get to Hawaii!
So Fantasy is up and I’ve been betting on surfing for years but hey that was a fun read anyway….
Fantasy sports are participation awards for those of us who are of mundane ability and sparse determination.
I t’ink they are worse than that surf mom. They’re a fundamental mis reading of the actual sport. Surfers do not team up. You could pick Gabriel Medina and Griffin Colapinto and neither surfer would have any idea you’d done it. Because you have no real clue what the surfer has been doing in the lead-up, it forces you into Stat-world which also makes almost no sense whatsoever. It’s like a totally different event, happening in a room somewhere far from the actual sport itself, in the dubious belief it’s connecting you with that sport.
Betting though. Holy shit. Get drunk and do that, and watch your self-esteem plummet!
I try and keep my ‘self-esteem’ and ‘bank balance’ as separated as philosophically possible.
I feel the need for a decadent escape from hyper masculinity!
Being a nerdy bookish type, I’ve never been in that situation.
Thankfully I don’t like to gamble either.
What are the odds on poor Raimana needing a vocal-cord transplant after all this?
Should there also be a ‘guess-the-ski-fuel-used’ game?
Perhaps they could have guest shouters to liven it up. Minor industry celebrities and random members of the public.
Howbout cut the waste and just have an semi-autonomous electric ski with a pre-recorded shouts from loudspeakers mounted on it.
They could auction the ability to live-feed your own incoherent rant, from the comfort of your filthy hovel, via the miracle of the web, straight to the loudspeakers on the ski so you could ‘personally encourage’ your favourite surfer. (No holds barred costs extra)
Damn, I’m like an idea MACHINE this morning as I sit here.
OAT-BRAN FOR THE WIN!!!
Guess-the-ski-fuel-used game:
My guess is the ski is fueled by the unrealized dreams of CT’rs that fall off tour. It’s why Raimana is so compelled to yell “Go! Here it comes! Get ready!”
Run away!
A sampling of the prop bets on offer for the inaugural Surf Ranch Pro!:
-Will a female competitor land an aerial? (Yes +500, No -720)
-Will Chris Cote be claiming it a 540? (Yes -1000, No +700)
-Who will complete the most airs in the comp? (Filipe -200, Field +140)
-Will Griff fall on his first wave? (Yes +210, No -300)
-Number of times Pottz uses the phrase “on the planet!” (Over 20.5 -130, Under -130)
-When Slater inevitably loses, will he blame his still broken foot? (Yes -200, No +140)
-How bad will blink-182 suck live? (Not at all +2100, Pretty bad -1300, Horribly -1700)
The Slater loss excuse is a sure ticket. Take my money, Karl.
Every morning I say thanks and make offerings to Jebus, Cocaine and Surfing (buy here!) for protecting me from morbid obesity.
I’m currently on my way to if not morbid obesity, then good old Type 2. I think you have the cure
Type 2 actually gets ya pretty trim. My old man used to drink a 2 litre coke with dinner every night so he got the diabetes. Was a real fat cunt. Now he looks like a melting runway model.
I’m guessing it’s simply because the back end isn’t set up to handle this new format where 1 through 34 will be placed in order. No equal 3rd, 5th, 9th, or 13th.
far to much sense in that answer.
Jimmy edits wiki in his spare time
No heats, so structure of event doesn’t fit their game format. Either that or Q caught the WSL molesting pizzas and is blackmailing Sophie to tip the fantasy surfing scales in favor of the illuminati.
Fantasy sports highlight individualism over unselfish team loyalty. Individual stats matter more than team result. It’s so un-Olympics. As the WSL has stated, the future is surfing in the Olympics. Must we regress to gladiators in the tub? Must fans wrap themselves in multiple country flags? Nay the WSL say. The Olympics are about one flag heroes. One flag, one team. Not one individual. It is nothing but more erosion of individualism in professional surfing.
You’re absolutely right. They should test the waters and set up Fantasy Surfer by flag to better represent the direction of the sport. Non-surfers can better identify with regional representation and pride than some different kids every year. Pros come and go but country is forever (excluding the Maldives).
The surf ranch pro competition format which is so different than the usual format is the reason. They just can’t figure out how to adjust either the game rules or the tech or both. My best guess would be they simply didn’t prepare enough in advance and that the tech is the barrier. The existing codebase of the app simply can’t accommodate different.game rules.
Why not release technology that enables techies to create apps then?