Admit it, kook: you hate the ocean!

Tell the truth: What is it you “love” about surfing?

Do you like to treat waves like a submissive concubine? Are you in thrall to the movements of mother ocean?

It ain’t that hard of a question. What do you love about surfing?

You talk about it. You spend all your time doing it.

You wouldn’t dream of travelling somewhere that didn’t have at least a semblance of a wave and if you do it’s only because you’re on some bullshit couple’s trip (Oh love, why did you forsake me?).

I got thinking about this because of all the wavepool chatter. I’m in the water every day, except for weekends ’cause they too crazy, and I’m getting all dried up waiting for a tank to be built.

“Imagine,” I said to a pal this morning, both astride our boards, sun out, four feet of picture perfect waves but actually shitty as anything, “If we could drive for thirty minutes inland and get ten good waves in an hour.”

So what do I love about surfing?

I like paddling where there’s no current, sitting by myself and popping my tit muscles through my wetsuit, catching smooth waves, going fast and looking for air sections to blow.

Oh I quite like the ocean with its happy fish (although I don’t blame the Japanese for serving dolphins on rye with kewpie mayonnaise) and those tropical reefs and its moods and colours and blah blah.

But, if you want honesty, if there was a wavepool nearby that was keenly priced or offered some sort of season pass or incentive program which fit my budget, and the ocean suddenly dried up.

Well, I wouldn’t give one royal fuck.

So what is it about surfing that you love?

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Gourmet Kook
Gourmet Kook
7 years ago

Ripping. – after kooking out the day before

Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
7 years ago

Solar resin i can chop mow sand out a shape glass it and surf it by lunch time , its not that fucken hard to skin a blank but glassing now that was a tricky bitch , not anymore though.

Tobiashjjhg Blue
Tobiashjjhg Blue
7 years ago

Paddling away from all the fuckwits on land then banging rails with some lonely idiot on a 5km stretch of isolated beach w.t.f

Some Guy
Some Guy
7 years ago

California: mid period solid sized WNW when all the dormant nooks come alive IE one of my fav spots of all time right smack dab in the middle of south OC that nobody surfs. An abbreviated compact version of the Cove Rincon rights that break 30 yards off and run almost perpendicular to the beach like a sand point. When I know that spot is going to be breaking, I feel like a kid again watching “Hot Summer Nights” on a Friday night so amping I’d have to poop.

Baja Malibu Santa Ana combo swells. Oxnard/Ventura same thing. Outer Banks Lighthouse winter North swells. Barrels and beatings, not always in that order. Chunky NE chops on the Outer Banks or Florida with wind blowing NE at 10-15. Lots of push for carves and hits at speed. Mainland Mexico’s points and beachies. Indo back before it got blown out, Puerto Rico same thing. Hawaii in the 80s. Getting on a plane. Bob Marley Rebel Music and Bad Brains when I was a kid smoking J’s and surfing after school.

Even these days at 45 years old I’m stoked on a waist high wave if it’s wedgy and uncrowded. 3 kids under 5 years old have me psyching like a grom to surf anything anytime and very grateful I live really close to the beach.

Waterman of the year
Waterman of the year
7 years ago

The ocean is my happy place. Something not even Kelly can recreate

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago

Can you dirty up your sex a little?

mundus
mundus
7 years ago

Not much recently, anyone ever get sick of surfing? Just part of getting old? pathetic depression? Just a kook?

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
7 years ago

What I love: Pumping hard to catch up with the sweet spot, sliding down starting at the top of the face right into the grove, punching of the bottom and shooting back up to the top of the only to find out that you hit it too soon, and you have lost it all and have nothing left to give…

Wait, your favorite thing about surfing?

Never mind, I got nothin’

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
7 years ago

Paddling out at my local solo. Sitting there watching gannets and the odd sooty shearwater catching fish. Gliding into a double-up on my DS.
Driving two hours with a good mate enjoying great conversation, then surfing a long right point with just seals for company. Surfing before a 6am work start in summer, then watching my colleagues yawn and look jaded.
Connecting with a new board.
Surfing a world class spot in a different country and getting called into a wave by locals because you behaved yourself.
Finding a new spot.

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
7 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

As someone who shares your local that sounds far too poetic… what about the 120km/hr offshores? The hordes of semi competent/incompetent keel fin/mid-sized board riders trying to hassle you for that backwashy 2 footer? The creek reeking of diesel? The 120km/hr onshores???
I agree with the two hour drive thing — though when you start finding those fur seals washed up half eaten it gets a little lonely out there.

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
7 years ago

Haha, yep there’s not much to wax lyrical about when it comes to that spot. And is it diesel, or old car tires slowly rotting in the buried rubbish dump up the valley and seeping out?
Anyhoo, this city tests you, especially as a surfer. But the rewards are there.

Kraken
Kraken
7 years ago

Pulling up at Swamii, Seaside or Cardiff and seeing how many surfboards I can run over with my truck, shortly before burning Tudor, Jeff Global Glassing and Rob Mob… followed by grinds at Hideaway.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Kraken

And waving at Chas between sets?

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago

Nothing that can’t be replaced by dozens of other equally rad outdoor activities.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

What, in your estimation, gives as much as surf?

Jen See
Jen See
7 years ago

Really excellent mountain biking comes close for me — but not close enough, it seems, since I haven’t traded my surf town with alright mountain biking, for like, Crested Butte or somewhere truly amazing.

Preston
Preston
7 years ago

Some off-piste waist deep powder can be comparable at times.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Preston

This I say yes to. I think Japan is the frontier one must approach.

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago

A good mountain bike run, cross country skiing to far away huts in beautiful mountains, fly fishing high alpine streams, sometimes even golf if everything goes your way. Those things aren’t necessarily better than surfing, but they can provide just as much life affirming thrill, sense of belonging, closeness to nature, etc.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

Justin Houseman, Associate Editor of “Surfer? Ehhhh.” Magazine

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago

Surfing is far more fun, far less aggravating, and a far healthier pursuit when it’s but one activity in a full outdoor activity toolshed.

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago

Surfing don’t make ya special

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

I could not agree more.

Jody Highroller
Jody Highroller
7 years ago

Going out, all excitement to get out there and away from doledrums, and coming in, riding whitewater and relieved and thoroughly satisfied. Going out and coming in, I believe these are the two happiest moments of surfing. All the important stuff in life happens at the threshold, the forests edge, in the transition. Also, sitting out free and alone in the ocean, contemplating your position, watching birds, zoning out–that also never gets old. Wavepool gives you nothing.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago

in recent times it has to be the facial hair, ink work and 1500 dollar logs.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Facial ink work is the next big fashion statement in surfing surely.

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

I like where you’re going with this Lemon. This calls for KVF hand crafted art. KVF!?! You out there?
What facial ink would the Top 10 CT’rs have?

Billy  Crystalmethodman
Billy Crystalmethodman
7 years ago

Peeing in my wetsuit while talking to girls on the cliff.

turts
turts
7 years ago

What do I love about surfing? Fark. Nothing. In Mentawai’s right now and it’s fucken shit. Every break is more crowded than anything back home. Fucken more brazzas and seppos than a bull can shit. And that fucken seppo cunt that owns Kanduis? What a fucken wanker.

Fuck surfing

Could’ve spent the money I dropped on this trip on a decent deposit for a new dirt bike

janeausten
janeausten
7 years ago
Reply to  turts

Nice 5ish foot ****wrecks yesterday just after high tide, guys out but no bothersome ones. You’re too far North.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  turts

Or a month at Waco.

turts
turts
7 years ago

Month at Waco. Team pool over tropical disease any day mate

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  turts

Might want to rethink that statement. Maybe you can see the future.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
7 years ago

i love being alone. my local: a short intense slabby right waist deep reef in some of the coldest waters there are where only 50% of the waves are makeable. self love or masturbation of the highest order.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
7 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Liked to get a piece of that.

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago

Well, james is correct. I’d say around 10/11s for the waves we have from Hossegor to Lacanau. There are so many factors, as you know… But usually, 10/11s is a good period! More than that (14/16s, winter swells mostly) and the wave is really fast on take off, too fast I’d say! Easier to paddle out and to reach even if bigger, but really difficult to catch and to surf.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

So many other factors involved with swell direction , size of tides not to mention the wind , and even with all these aligning one is still relying on those most ephemeral creatures “the Sandbank ” ?

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago

Exactly. And it’s when all stars are aligned, when the forecast is telling me how nature is beautiful that I’m the most frightened! I’m driving with the heart beating faster as I’m closer to the parking lot. It can’t be true! Something won’t work! The tide? The sand bank? The current? the wind? The period? Never happy with the conditions, says my wife…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

I had so much free time there for 20 years I would go intentionally 1 hour before and sit on the beach in front of the bank and paddle out at the first sign that it was about to turn on . Obviously had no wife and made absolutely no money during this period but I rarely missed that open window .Now I am happy with wife and kids and it’s such a joy just to get wet .

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago

My kids are older now, not at home anymore, and I just bought a house 3 km from the beach. I promised myself i’ll spend more times checking the surf, waiting for the good moment. I’ll leave my mobile phone in the car and sit on the beach! This is the only solution not to miss those small windows of opportunity. I’m too old to miss a good surf!

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

Say, Walt, anything happening on that wavepool down your way yet?

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago

Well, not that much. They say it will be a wavegarden Cove technology type of pool. It is supposed to open “around 2020″… The guy in charge, Norbert Ducrot, CEO of the company “Wavelandes”, is an ex representative of Airbus Helicopters, he is the guy (nicknamed “norbertcopter…) who succeed in selling european choppers to the south koreans, replacing the US in this market. A huge achievment for sure, but I don’t know if it will be useful in the wavepool business. Opponents of the project say that Wavelandes is a “small society with 1400 euros of share capital and nice Tshirts”… Wait and see, I think. Maybe more news during the Quik Pro.

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

I think the short period swells are good for the beach break peaks , but the outs siide banks still like a longer period swell .
La Gravierre used to like a really long period N swell , but now the sand is all different with so much sand out side , plus most of the beach has disappeared…so much has changed in the last few years there!

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

I agree. And less and less outside banks, especially here in the north of Landes. I heard some guys explaining it could come from the fact that they’re cleaning up the sand everyday, thus reducing it to dust and destroying sand banks… A lot of surfers are saying there are less banks than before, I’d agree with that. But I could also be one of those old grumpy locals saying that “it was better before”…?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

Now, tell me and you too Brutus, if a man was planning on moving to the south-west would he live in Hossegor, a little out of town, say Les Bourdaines, or is the smart money up in Mimizan-Plage, Souston sorta way? Or south of Biarritz?

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago

This is a tough question! Best waves are around Hossegor. In winter, you’re everywhere out of town, and there are crowds everywhere in summer in and around Hossegor. South of Biarritz, it’s overcrowded in summer, crowded the rest of the year, waves aren’t as good as Hossegor, but social life is way more interesting. The more you move north of Hossegor, the thinner the crowd (except in summer, july/august). But it’s a bit lost, and in plain winter, it could look like a remake of “deliverance” sometimes, except they don’t play the banjo. Waves are good, but there is no offshore canyon (as says the WSL) like in front of Hossegor. That means less quality waves above 5/6 ft, but plenty of banks for those ready to walk or bike. It’s better if you’re close to Bordeaux, ask James about it. I’d tell you to move to Hossegor if you’re really into surfing and nothing else, to Biarritz if you’re wealthy, between Moliets and Biscarrosse if you’re somewhere in between!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

Love the Deliverance reference ! Chasse Pêche Nature Tradition and no banjos but plenty of hunting horn blowers . In summer Bordeaux is sadly too close and in winter frustratingly too far away ? The antithesis of Hawaii . In South West France , you want to be in the country in summer and the city in winter ( or escape for at least a month to remain sane ! )

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

One could luck out ( like bino lopes who was just gifted a wave by Medina of all people ( ? ) in a 3 man heat needing a score with 1 minute to go ) with the perfect bank and a huge channel . Otherwise if your not Andy Irons you’ll be duck diving closeouts for hours on end and praying for an earthquake to make a pointbreak ?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago

Salt water.
Different every day.
Mastery endlessly evasive.
Fear, elation, boredom, awareness, connection.
Friendship, brotherhood, learning.
Staring at water.
Might die doing it.

Sunny
Sunny
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Mom and Dad said since birth l would just stare at the waves at 3rd point Bu, endless pics in my youth. Never changed in 60 years just the location. Clearly it’s a electrical vibration attractive state… can’t get tubed enough alone, only alone.

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

You talking about surfing or fishing

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

Only got one lifetime mate

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

I’ve never been fishing. Is it a thrill? And what part is the most exciting? The long wait or the bit where you get to stab the fish?

astro
astro
7 years ago

Hah ! Never been fishing. My hairy arse !
You troll all the fucken time, Derek.
Real fishing is much the same …

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  astro

True! I like animals. Semi-vegan etc.

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago

I only go fly fishing, so can’t speak for sitting in a chair wetting a piece of bait on a motionless hook. But fly fishing is a puzzle, requires just as much practice as surfing to get good at it, takes place in the most beautiful spots on earth, places you in direct contact with water and the life swimming around in it, rewards thoughtfulness, care, patience, assertiveness. You can very easily build an entire life around it, or could, if you lived somewhere with year-round fishing seasons.

Brutus
Brutus
7 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

fuck I thought he was taliking about a new resort/spa!

Cyclone Boner
Cyclone Boner
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Might die doing nothing too though lets be honest….

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  Cyclone Boner

Might die going in a fucken wave pool apparently.

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
7 years ago

closeouts?

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago
Reply to  mine.mine.mine

Mostly!


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