The biggest stage! Finally!
Please forgive me for being optimistic. BeachGrit’s tagline after “Ultra Hard Surf Candy” is after all “Anti-Depressive.” And what’s more anti-depressive than hope? Than optimism?
And so please forgive me for dreaming that professional surfing in either World Surf League iteration or wildly successful Stab High iteration unproven but gold BeachGrit’s Everyman Challenge iteration can win hearts and minds in this ultra-fractured era. An era where bloodsport feels redundant. An era where even sweet science feels obsolete.
ESPN, the leading live sport broadcaster in the United States and I therefore assume world, has decided to untangle from boxing after 45 years and are looking for fresh sporting stories.
45 years.
And it would be rude not to read ESPN.
After 45 years as the broadcaster for most of the biggest fights in boxing, as the platform that created modern pay-per-view and as the launching pad for most of the sport’s biggest stars for decades, HBO announced on Thursday that it was dropping its coverage by the end of the year.
“Our mission at HBO Sports is to elevate the brand. We look for television projects that are high-profile, high-access, and highly ambitious in the stories they seek to tell and the quality of production in telling them,” HBO Sports said in a statement. “Boxing has been part of our heritage for decades. During that time, the sport has undergone a transformation. It is now widely available on a host of networks and streaming services. There is more boxing than ever being televised and distributed. In some cases, this programming is very good. But from an entertainment point of view, it’s not unique.
Did you read the same words I did? “We look for television projects that are high-profile, high-access, and highly ambitious in the stories they seek to tell and the quality of production in telling them.”
Well did you?
The only word pumping through my mind is “professional surfing.” I mean the only two words. So which should HBO scoop up for 2019? The World Surf League? Stab High? BeachGrit’s Everyman Challenge?
I’m totally biased here but think the only way for HBO to go is World Surf League. Just think how fabulous Gabriel Medina would appear in their hands. Just think how fabulous.
Have you ever watched a 24/7?
I’m multiple vodka………..what? Lime-flavored Perrier’s in but I can’t wait to see Gabriel Medina and Felipe Toledo in an HBO 24/7 that follows the World Surf League Championship Tour for 9 months and…
Lemmmmmme pour another one real quick.
*Dunno how to make this happen but let’s try? Let’s… talk to people?
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You’re a creative fan of Beach Grit when you’re not bothered trying to be the biggest dick in the room.
combine surfing and boxing. there you go HBO. I fixed it for ya. you’re welcome.
Damn. Sipping bourbon and watching HBO Boxing has been a staple in recent years.
Surfing and Hairy with Body Odour is something new ?
get Dirk to call Harvey
Clip yer business socks to the leg-belt thingies that hold them up and get it done Chas. Kelly and Laird are already guest starring on Ballers this season and the Rock’s bought Redbull. Surely that’s HBO sending smoke signal even the non-schizoid can interpret?
Trailer
HBO Presents
EXT: Beach at Pipeline
Jerseyed Toledo sitting on beach, face in hands.
CLOSE UP of Fil’s face: Tear drop rolls down his face
AUDIO: Turpel mentioning his 0.0 heat score at Teahupoo.
FADE TO BLACK
NARRATOR: Man’s greatness consists in his ability to do and the proper application of his powers to things needed to be done.
MUSIC: Sad music
INT: Coffee shop
Filipe talks with father at a small circular table animatedly, pointing at papers and computer, like they might be planning something.
INT: Studio
Filipe sits at a chair, viewer sees exposed backdrop and cameras surrounding him.
TOLEDO: I want to win.
CLOSE UP of Toledo’s face.
TOLEDO: So I train.
MUSIC: Generic rock song
EXT: Various Toledo clips at medium-to-small Chopes “training sessions” and of him jumping rope. Transitions to airs at various locations (Snapper, J-Bay, Trestles, Lemoore). Footage of Toledo winning contests.
AUDIO: WSL commentators voices talk about his wins from the events.
INT: Boardroom at Hurley headquarters
Filipe and representatives talk with Hurley Execs about his new contract
TOLEDO: I want more money. Imma important for bottom line!
HURLEY: We are not going to bid against ourselves. That’s just stupid
FADE INTO CLOSE UP of Filipe’s eyes
TOLEDO: *Sighs heavily* I’ll show dem. I will win Title…
MUSIC: Dramatic up-tempo dark sounding but ultimately actually ambiguous music
EXT: Various locations showing disparate images – Filipe surfing, him throwing his jersey, him smiling, him punching boards, close up of him breathing heavily, him raising his arms in triumph.
MUSIC: Single chime note plays
FADE TO BLACK
To1ed0.0: The Fall and Rise of a Boy Wonder appears in red font
Hurley Entourage?
Better lock that story line down at the writer’s guild..
surfing is a throwaway genre.
Finnaly pro surfing will end up where it belongs in pools on HBO , sure my life style is not based on pro surfing because if it did it would really suck .
This is right up WSLs alley. Ziff will get it done with some closed door deal.
“You take my WSL, I’ll make sure this other thing never happens.”
Honestly I don’t know why you want this.
Well I do, but I have trouble accepting it.
Don’t help sell out surfing even further! Too many people in the water as is.
I don’t care that it’s not Big Time.
I don’t care that most people think it’s goofy loser stuff. In fact I’m glad!
says the guy that just spent 600k for a private with kells
I know right?
What a hypocrite I am.
we see through you. And dead people Ottz.
Who is Ottz?
you, and Kai and my Uncle Otto down in geelong.
I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating. Australia has the funniest, not in a cheap way, city/place names, smattering smidge of a character revealing spot on the map. I had to google it. Guessed Thailand. My bad.
Reminds me of “Koolyanobbing”. Like something an old man barks at you when he walks up on you and your gal having a trist on the beach.
Germany has a little town named Wankendorf but it does pale in comparison to antipodean delights like Gettadicupya and its Chinese restaurant which serves a great Cumosumyung boi ?
how about Ausfahrt , everytime I see and exit sign in Germany I let one go!
Yes I chuckle every time we take the Autobahn .
Next time bring your favorite Llama along for the ride