kelly slater john c reilly
Do you remember when John C Reilly and Kelly Slater honoured each other with silly face swaps?

Wow: Philanthropist pays $US600,000 for two hours at Surf Ranch and Private Lesson with Kelly Slater!

Derek Rielly

By

Travel and accommodation not included.

A few days ago, his serene highness Prince Albert II held the second annual Monte Carlo Gala for the Ocean. The ball holds out its collection tray “in order to support its worldwide initiatives in favor of a sustainable ocean, a crucial issue calling for immediate and collective action.”

Juicy meats are served and there’s a sprinkling of zingy stars.

And to raise cash, various celebrities offer “experiences”, as we call them now. These included “a magical afternoon of riding horses through the forest and the beach along the Atlantic Ocean with Madonna”, a customised electric powerboat, diamond watches, a Jeff Koon sculpture, vacations on mega-yachts and, you’ll like this, two hour-long sessions with Kelly Slater at Surf Ranch.

“Test the latest wave profiles that Slater and his team have developed, plus spend the day with other surfers from around the world. Your day at Surf Ranch includes: light breakfast, lunch, and dinner, additional activities including skate bowl, SUP, wakesurfing and more, video footage of all waves of the day, in water photographer capturing great moments. Travel and accommodation is not included.

The auctioneer didn’t fuck around.

The starting bid for Kelly’s pool time was €100,000. Fifteen seconds later it was sold, after one single bid, for €500,000 or almost 600k US.

Madonna, if you were wondering, hit 400k.

Bon voyage: The great Backward Fin Beth leaves the World Surf League!

Chas Smith

By

The WSL's famous Chief Commercial Officer steps down!

It has been confirmed that the World Surf League’s Chief Commercial Officer, Beth Greve, will be leaving her position in a few weeks and also leaving the World Surf League. My refurbished phone started buzzing furiously last night and I thought it was because of its refurbishment. I was forced onto the ugly Wheel of Suffering due the fact that I washed my other phone in the washing machine while doing a load of whites and had no option.

The refurbished phone arrived yesterday, I spent the requisite 8 hours setting it up and then it started buzzing furiously. At first I blamed Apple then I blamed China then I blamed T-Mobile then I actually looked and saw messages were responsible for the buzzing.

Messages that whispered, “Backward Fin Beth is gone.”

“She’s gone.”

And now it has been confirmed.

She’s gone with no immediate answers as to where or why.

I didn’t want to believe it. We had just begun dancing and I knew, just knew, once we met again and chatted that there would be so many laughs. Surfing is funny, it’s hilarious, and Beth would get it. She would understand that what surfers do when they’re not surfing is make fun of things. Making fun is as essential to the surfing life as wax, as trunks, as removable fin systems.

But now she’s gone and this story arc will be truncated. Cut off nowhere near completion. Left on the scrap heap along with the story arc where I laugh with Paul Speaker.

I don’t know where Beth is going but hope she has an exciting opportunity lined up. I hope she remembers her time in professional surfing fondly. I hope she is proud.

She starred on a billboard and that is a greater accomplishment than I have ever achieved. She made us smile and that is something I strive for every day.

Bon voyage, Beth. May the wind always be at your backward and the sun upon your face.

Invest: Global surfing equipment market set for “sound growth!”

Chas Smith

By

Up, up and away!

And the good news just keeps coming. Coming and coming and coming. Because you remember how we, and by “we” I mean the surf industry, was trapped in a 20-year apocalypse right? How no matter how bullish the economy was surf just kept sinking and sinking and sinking. Companies floundered, went belly-up, declared bankruptcy etc.

A brutal bloodletting. A reign of terror seemingly without end.

But then cracks appeared in the darkness. Small rays of light. ActionWatch reported that the Wheel of Fortuna might turn right. But was it just a tease? Something to draw our heads out of our shells exposing our necks for the final blow?

Apparently not. For today investors are being encouraged to put their money into surfing and not just any part of surfing but the global surfing equipment market!

Global surfing equipment market has been anticipated to showcase a sound growth at a CAGR of close to 6% during the forecast period (2017-2022E). Growth during this period is expected to be supported by the rising popularity of surfing as a recreational and profession activity, increase in the number of surfing championships and tournaments, increase in demand from Millennial, increased awareness regarding fitness benefits of surfing, expanding geographical presence of major manufacturers, intensifying distribution channels, expansion of online retailing, new product launches, government initiative to promote the usage of protective surfing equipments and others.

Fantastic! But where is this growth centered?

The global surfing equipment market was dominated by Americas in the year 2017. The region occupies the largest share owing to the presence of well-established water sports/surfing infrastructure and large number of surfing enthusiasts. In the recent years, surfing has been adopted as a recreational activity along with being taken-up professionally. Europe accounted for the second largest share in the surfing equipment market. The presence of increased number of water sporting sites across Europe makes it the second-largest revenue contributor. APAC region also witnessed growth in demand for surfing equipments with an increase in both consumption and production especially in Australia, China, India, New Zealand, Vietnam and Indonesia. Middle East and Africa has accounted for the lowest share in the surfing equipment market in 2017. Major reasons to support such low revenue generation are lack of natural resources and water bodies to support the sport, low participation rates, less number of surfing facilities available and low awareness amongst population regarding surfing as a sports event.

USA! USA! USA!

Read the rest here and don’t sleep on this boom!

harry-bryant
"All I remember was seeing Chip getting head-locked by that security guard. He (Chippa) was sitting down talking to someone, there was some debacle, and then Chippa was in a headlock. My instant reaction was to put him in one and then, before I knew it, I was in one. It was a trilogy of headlocks." | Photo: @kaelwalsh

Harry Bryant on Waco Stoush: “People thought I was going to jail!”

Derek Rielly

By

Lovely Australian surfer Harry Bryant explains his good-natured choke of Waco pool security guard.

Two days ago, at the conclusion of the very good Stab High aerial event, a clip surfaced of a security guard being hosited away from Chippa Wilson by Harry Bryant who was subsequently taken away by a third choker.

“This is fucking bullshit,” Chippa says to the security guard.

“We’re here for the love,” says Jay Davies, at which point Harry carts off the surprised security guard.

Watch!

Harry Bryant, if you didn’t know, is a twenty-one-year-old Australian with a bushy hairdo and albino moustache that twinkle like glitter on a burlesque dancer’s corset. Haz was in New Jersey showing a rough cut of his film Orb when BeachGrit called to discuss the event.

“All I remember was seeing Chip getting head-locked by that security guard. He (Chippa) was sitting down talking to someone, there was some debacle, and then Chippa was in a headlock. My instant reaction was to put him in one and then, before I knew it, I was in one. It was a trilogy of headlocks. No one was hot-headed or wanted to fight. It was all in good spirits. It was hilarious. I think a lot of the American folks were shocked at the Australian way of life. We were all having so much fun, everyone was one the beers all day, and the Americans were a bit eye-opened by that. Me and Jay and all those boys were having a slap contest, slapping each other in the face, stuff that you do when you’re an Australian. You’re not fighting your mates. It was blown out of proportion. People thought I was going to jail. I had a smile on my face the whole time.”

The aftermath?

“Straightaway me and Chippa went and sat him down, apologised and told him we were just having a good time and that we didn’t mean any harm. He said, ‘Yeah, no worries.’ and it was all sweet again.”

I mention that it was more a feisty embrace than, say, a front naked choke

“I didn’t think my arms were big enough to get around a rig like that,” says Haz. “When a bunch of Australians are on the cans all day, something like that is going to happen. No one’s aggressive. No one wants a biff.”

Harry says that America can be a troublesome place for an Australian.

“You can get into a lot more trouble for little things. Even just walking down the street in the evenings and needing to do a piss, you have to go to a public toilet. But there’s no public toilets ’cause all the bums sleep in them. Even drinking a beer in the passenger seat in a car you can get in trouble for. In Australia it’s a way of life. People coming home from work will stop at the bottle-o and buy a long neck for the drive home. It’s so natural in Australia. Of course, you have to respect the rules in other countries but when you’re not aware of the rules, you can run into a lot of trouble.”

Jake Gyllenhall (pictured) starred in the film Zodiac and was born Dec. 19 giving him a D.
Jake Gyllenhall (pictured) starred in the film Zodiac and was born Dec. 19 giving him a D.

Revealed: Your surf ability dictated by the stars!

Chas Smith

By

Unlock your secret potential today!

How many mornings a week do you paddle out and have a surf of which you are proud? Like, whacking the lip and getting little tubes and well-timed wraps that don’t bog? One day a week? Three days a month? Less?

I feel we are mostly frustrated with our abilities. Not frustrated, maybe, but also not generally wowed. Just muddling along, trying to improve while also being resigned to never really improving.

It’s a hard knock life, for us, and we blame ourselves or should. The grown woman blaming her board is ugly. The grown man who flips his board upside down to examine his fins after an ill-timed wrap that did bog is ugly.

Our skill-level, for better or worse, is our personal cross to bear.

Or is it?

Recent studies suggest that the stars are responsible and let us turn to an astrological analysis from the esteemed Elle magazine.

Inspired by the primordial elements of life, water, air, earth and fire, zodiac signs CAN tell us a little bit about someone’s broad characteristics. Furthermore, astrology can give away information about a person’s strengths and weaknesses (we all know how important it is to be aware of both!), hobbies, interests, as well as best sports to pursue, be it surfing, martial arts, hiking or rock climbing. That being said, please remember that you are the only one responsible for your decisions and should always aim to break out of your shell.

So? Which signs are best for surfing?

Aires (March 21 – April 19):

Due to their competitive nature, Aries are easily put off by sports they are not so good at. Focus, strength and determination are their key assets, which is why high-energy sports fit them like a glove. Martial arts, boxing, motorcycle riding and outdoor activities are something Aries are drawn to.

Grade: D

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Unlike the previous sign of the zodiac, Taurus individuals usually don’t like speed and danger all that much. Competition is not something they’re particularly drawn to either. Earth is their dominant element, and they’re all about having fun, socializing and being close to nature.

Grade: F

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

The first air sign of the zodiac, Gemini are characterized by duality. Don’t take it the wrong way, if harnessed just right, this can be turned to their advantage. They are generally curious, intelligent individuals who love a good debate.

Grade: D

Cancer (June 21 – July 21)

A water sign, Cancer is symbolized by the crab – with a rough outer shell but vulnerable on the inside. Sensitive, romantic, compassionate, Cancers are great at team sports but at the same time, they have a tendency to quickly retreat into their shells, which is why they are often called ‘crabby’ persons.

Grade: D

Leo (July 22 – August 22)

Born under a fire sign, Leos sure are fiery, fierce, overflowing with energy. Sparkling, courageous and very active, they believe in strong personal values. Their competitive nature makes them capable of great achievements.

Grade: D (from personal experience)

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Virgos are often considered more intellectual than active, but truth be told, they can take up any sport. Dominated by the earth element, they are detail-oriented, calculative and can sometimes take their organization habits a tad too far.

Grade: D

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Intense effort is not the Libras’ thing, so sports are not as exciting for them. If they do choose to practice a sport, it should provide some benefits, keep them healthy and maintain their silhouette.

Grade: F

Scorpio (October 23 – November 22)

Scorpios are a force of nature. Passionate and assertive, their minds are just as strong as their bodies. Very determined, they love to be in control. Therefore, they can be ruthless competitors.

Grade: D

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)

One of the most athletic zodiac signs, those born under the Sagittarius sign love anything that gets them moving. Freedom is the word that best describes them – nudist beaches, wild camping, horse riding; all of these spell excitement.

Grade: D

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Capricorns love spending time by themselves. An earth sign, they are practical persons, disciplined and dedicated. Their symbol is the mountain, the peak that has to be conquered. Indeed, they do feel the need to break their limits and embark on a slow but determined ascension, either on the social ladder or in whatever area of their life they choose to focus on.

Grade: D

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

An air sign, Aquariuses are independent individuals with a great sense of humor. Explosiveness and freedom best characterize them, as they are nonconformist, curious, rebellious souls that easily get excited about anything.

Grade: C

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Water is their element, and Pisces feel comfortable performing any water-based activity. Intuitive, artistic, sometimes overly trusting, Pisces oscillate between optimism and pessimism.

Grade: D

Well hell. Thanks a lot, lucky stars.

Photo: Jack English
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