The performance level at the Surf Ranch Pro is going to be twice as high as Founders' Cup says shaper to the stars.
At this weekend’s Surf Ranch Pro, the San Clemente shaper Matt Biolos is going to have ten surfers affixed to his shapes. Count ’em: Kolohe Andino, Griff Colapinto, Carissa Moore, Caroline Marks, Michael Rodrigues, Yago Dora, Malia Manuel, Coco Ho and Joan Duru.
Would’ve been eleven if Tyler Wright’s mysterious illness hadn’t forced her withdrawal.
Matt, who has ridden both types of Wavegarden, watched each day of the Founders’ Cup live and has just returned from a three-day hit to Waco, knows what works in pools. So we get to talking about boards for the event. Turns out ain’t much diff to regular shooters, a little shorter to fit into the tighter transitions, maybe a round tail instead of a squash for control, low entry rocker, heavy out the tail or vice versa.”
My eyes are popping out for the Surf Ranch Pro. I’m of the vibration, I say, that the Founders’ Cup was all play, nothing to win and nothing to lose, and that this weekend’s tournament will elevate the game considerably.
“The standard is going to be twice as high as the Founders’ Cup,” says Matt. “It’ll be incredibly high and incredibly entertaining. The judging is going to have to be incredibly astute, however. The judges are going to have to know the difference between each manoeuvre. None of that Jadson Andre holding-the-rail bullshit. What the fuck? Was it Jadson or Kanoa holding the rail after they landed airs at the US Open?
Oh I don’t know!
“They can’t possibly give that a score? It’s a safety air. It’s bullshit. The judges really really have to know. When Kolohe does a stalefish and someone does a regular grab, which is harder? You’re going to see the mid-tier guys doing airs at the end of the wave but the gnarly guys are going to do the air before the first tube. And you better give that a bigger score than the air at the end of the wave.”
Biolos says it’s going to be a game of combos.
“The surfing is gong to be so orchestrated, like figure skating. There has to be a degree of difficulty. Joan can only get so high a score compared to Kolohe. It’s going to be crazy technical. Fins out is going to be a difference. Griffin sends it out the back, Taj Burrow-style. Griffin’s doing three fins-out turns…boom…boom…boom… and those others guys are doing hooks and snaps. It’s way gnarlier (to throw the fins) on that wave.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bh4BlRtHGsQ/?hl=en&taken-by=griffin_cola
So who’s going to be around on final’s day?
“I can’t see Michel Bourez or Ace Buchan or Joel or Conner O’Leary or Conner Coffin or any of those guys having any kind of chance to to make the final eight. There’s just no fucking way. Maybe twelve of those 34 guys have a chance of making the eight. Gabriel, Italo, Filipe, Kolohe, Griffin, Jordy, Julian.
More than anything, says Matt, “You better be fucking gnarly.”
If you work it out you’ll be the first Paver in history to complete one
Sure, it’s not J’Bay or Pipe (yeah thanks for nada on both fronts WSL) – but I’m genuinely amped on this event!
Will Toledo deliver? Kelly silence his instagram trolls? Julian redeem himself after ‘chopes? …
Hmm, suspect it is smoke and mirrors — but it ain’t her sexuality.
If your screenplay had been made into the movie instead, and made $100 million, what would you have done with the money?
Nah, that’s me in the Palm Springs Wavegarden.
thanks for sharing. top stuff. thanks to you I can finally stop reading the out of date “womens day” my misses leaves in the shitter.
I can’t answer that question because I take exception to the writing of a screenplay to begin with. Would you have written the screenplay about Jay Moriarity had he still been alive? It’s too bad Jay isn’t still here, cause I believe he would have told you all to “fuck off!”
What was your motivation writing the screenplay? A self-indulgence in ego stroking that you could tell Jay’s life story better than he lived it?
The more you complain about this, the more it appears you lust for blood money. It wasn’t your story to tell to begin with, no matter how much of your imagination you put into it. I don’t believe Jay lived his life so it could be splashed on the silver screen so some guy at Surfer could make a dime.
Let it go.
Is Matt Biolos the only person that hasn’t given up on Kolohe? I’m a fan of Mayhem’s stuff (and don’t not like kolohe) but sometimes wonder if Matt’s delusions about his little surf star to be’s success (or lack there of) trickles down to the shaping room.
Based on current rankings, Kolohe would go to the Olys for the US. Decent reason for his board sponsor to be a bit exuberant.
Agreed, fair enough. A better question to have asked would’ve been is Matt Biolos the only person that still thinks he’s capable of a world title?
Unlikely he could win a title, but he’s better than his current rating.
If five lawyers told you “you won’t win”, then why argue your case here?
what! you haven’t been invited yet?
what is the world coming to.
(I thought your were leaving. great you decided to stick around. my online persona would have been very sad with out your valuable insight on everything)
Me think that Matt “Lost Mayhem” Biolos is trying to leave implicity that the
“…Griffin sends it out the back, Taj Burrow-style. Griffin’s doing three fins-out turns…boom…boom…boom… and those others guys are doing…” it’s a…
Griffin’s super secret manuver!!!
You know… like Gerr’s / Conner’s secret bottom turn…
Gerr’s swear that Conner will throw at Lebooore Surf Ranch
Yeah, Matt’s argument is gonna fall apart when Conner unleashes the heretofore unseen Secret Turn. Even Kelly will be shamed into retirement!
But… wich wave section does Conner will give to the world his secret turn???
Will Conner throw an entire and consecutive, a savage sequence of secret turns, with the “boom… boom…boom…” thing???
Let me guess- 2 turns, squat barrel, 2 turns, surprise- another squat barrel, then cutback.?
JOB and Poops gate crashing in leopard print g strings riding double up on an 8ft pink soft top
matts a kook through and through. dude doesnt even surf. who cares what he thinks?
Fuck yo couch eBolos, fuck yo couch!!!
i have almost no recollection of writing this… i need sleep
Jeez you guys are such losers.
You know I had to tell Kelly how to build this thing, and that Fincham guy doesn’t know shit about physics.
I spent week at the dinner table, after cooking full Cordon Bleu meals from scratch using only a pair of pliers and a candle, showing Kels and Finchy how the machine would work to create a soliton.
I use to draw the equations in salt on the black silk table cloth. Ha! Ironic considering it’s built as a fresh water pool!
I remember one time I was surfing with Laird when he was quite young, I said “why don’t you become an actor?”
Sure enough, he got into the movie business, but I had to teach him everything about acting, make-up, and show him how to work out. Once I felt he had mastered his surfing techniques to my satisfaction, I showed him my secrets spots: Pe’ahi, and later the Cortez Bank. I had to ride these waves far bigger than he has ever managed, just to show him that there was nothing to be afraid of. Eventually he got someone to film him and he became famous for big wave riding, but you know, he was nothing without me.
Obama used to come knocking on my door, late at night with serious shit about national security, but I’m not really at liberty to talk about that stuff. Sorry
Hey and you know that wave that you’re calling ‘Mick’s Wave’? I showed that to Rip Curl several years ago. I pioneered that whole coastline and wanted to write several books about my awesome adventures, but I haven’t. Maybe one day.
Mick called it The Snake, but I named it El Serpento after my enourmous member, which many a Hollywood star has lusted over.
My book on Malibu was just an excuse to let some of these people meet me, because I kept getting calls from their agents saying “Hey, XXXX famous person blah blah blah really wants to meet you and be your friend” whine whine beg beg. Honestly it was tiring. So I went and “interviewed them,” you know, pretending, to keep them happy. They all wanted a piece of me.
You losers are just sad. Hanging out on this shitty website all day. Writing tons of stuff. Arguing with each other. Telling people your lame stories. Like who cares?
I don’t, and really I’m the only one who matters.
When I was editor of Surfer, it was all different and you guys would be bowing and scraping to get in my good books. You don’t really know who you’re dealing with.
I’m going to go now. I can see Dirk Ziff is on the phone again. He’s constantly asking for advice, but never listens.
Bye losers.
I really feel special that you took the time to come here and share you wisdom with a dumb kook like me. Years from now I will look back and remember that week when Ben and his black pussy selflessly shared his expertise and escapades with the common man.
Goodbye Ben.
Goodbye pussy.
This was either written by that dude that did the history of surfing encyclopaedia thing, can’t quite remember his name at the minute, or Christian Fletcher
Can Christian Fletcher spell his own name?
Well, dictated by Fletcher
That was fantastic. Thank you.
Betelgeuse Betelgeuse Betelgeuse! Your experiment worked. Once was enough I hope.
The future of pool surfing right there
I’m more interested in the engineering team behind the wave. I want to see some bios on the team in the engine room. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Most of them are philipinos, they don’t even speak english. And they don’t surf.
Walt, that’s no way to talk about the Oompa Loompas.
Please apologize.
What? Never! No way.
is it the same phillipinos who work in the fire wire factory?
They own the fire wire factory!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Homer? Simpson?
Homer Simpson???!!!!
is that an industrial waffle iron he is operating?
Lemoore’s only chance is scandal.
“Maybe twelve of those 34 guys have a chance of making the eight. Gabriel, Italo, Filipe, Kolohe, Griffin, Jordy, Julian.”
That’s seven of those 34 guys. Easier to make the eight, though.
“There has to be a degree of difficulty.”
Oh shit.
The difficulty is counting to 12 when you only have 10 fingers
At least Seabass will be able to get to 11.
My keyboard only goes up to 9?
I’m bored of it already and the fuckin thing’s not even started.
couldn’t watch the video after 1minute.. robotic.
Yeah, if an Instagram clip looks boring how will the whole day go? 2 waves per surfer per day…. . Wow. Soporific.