And you thought they all disappeared in jr. high!

Now that Tahiti is done (how exciting is the race ‘tween Filipe and Gabe?) we can turn our full attention to Lemoore, California and the wonders of Surf Ranch.

Tell me true, have you purchased a ticket yet?

Did the announcement that blink-182 will play Saturday night sway you?

Are you a Satanist?

But do you recall Satanism? I mostly do from my elementary school days when the angry boy sitting next to me drew upside-down stars on his Pee-Chee and my friend Jon Ross got Twisted Sister’s Stay Hungry for his birthday. Rumors and research (asking another friend’s older brother who liked Dyno bicycles) revealed that the upside-down star was actually called a “pentagram” and was the symbol of Satan himself.

Twisted Sister’s Stay Hungry featured lead singer Dee Snider likely eating a virgin’s thigh and singing songs about burning in hell.

Oooee it was a scary time to be alive. Nightmares of evil Satanists taking over the world terrorized my young mind. Satan sending his legions messages via Led Zeppelin songs played backwards. Sacrificed neighborhood cats. Etc.

When I was a bit older, I actually read The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey, founder of The Church of Satan, and was brutally underwhelmed.

LaVey, who very much looked the part with his bald head and pointy goatee (pictured above), had basically just taken the real Bible and written the opposite. Hate your neighbor, don’t turn the other cheek, etc. Very uninspired and I wondered who could ever take such pulp seriously.

Apparently blink-182’s new guitarist/vocalist Matt Skiba. He is a real life, modern Satanist, can you even believe, and let us read his own words on Alternative Nation, shall we?

I love the art and the fashion and the aesthetic of the Church Of Satan. That’s what always drew me to it. I have a lot of books about black magic and demonology, and I err on the side of that being real, but I wasn’t putting curses on people. And there was a time when I would say I was a Satanist. Me and Derek bought each other Church of Satan membership cards for Christmas because we didn’t want to pay the $300 or whatever it was to join, so that kind of shows you how loyal a member I am. For me, it was all aesthetics, and my interests were solely on the black arts. Then a friend of mine gave me a book that I have on my coffee table to this day. She introduced more of what a witch would call white magic – or, as I’ll put it, positivity, kindness, beauty.

You also keep revenge and all the seven deadly sins in your pocket because they’re good to have, but you need balance. Before that good juju came into my life, there were a lot of kids who really loved it, but somebody said to me recently, ‘Your band probably would have been a lot bigger had you not had the satanic imagery,’ and my answer to that was, ‘Good!’ I feel people made a bigger deal of it than it actually is. I’m still a fan of black magic, but I’ve also learned such a lot in the last 20 years that that little black-magic kid seems like a different person to me now. I mean, I have crystals at my house that I meditate with. I’m such a fucking hippy. But it works for me and if you were me you’d do it, too. You’d try fucking anything.

Oops!

Do you think Surf Ranch will produce limited edition merchandise feat. pentagrams? Are there already Satanic symbols marking the property? Are the neighborhood cats safe?

I’ll get to the bottom of this, don’t you worry. Don’t you even lose one night of sleep.

Oh and P.S. you’re welcome for this other little bit of Satanism.