Ugh.
Did you love Wilbur Kookmeyer when you were younger? Did you guffaw at all his, “real-talk” moments? I…. am going to be all the way honest here and didn’t. Even as a completely kooky Oregonian youth, I felt that satire doesn’t really work in surf because it is all too ridiculous to begin with. Satirizing it is like satirizing Juggalos. The joke is already inherent in the thing itself.
But then The Inertia and sister online publication Stab came along.
There must be something in Venice-adjacent’s water that creates an insatiable desire to create surf satire and brand it as such. To let the readers know, “Hey, we’re making a funny here on localism or sexism or racism or something but obviously don’t really mean it because we’re woke and that’s what satire’s for. Woke surfers!”
The Inertia and Stab are each pressing the pedal to the metal over the last few years, publishing at least one satirical surf funny a week. Here is the latest and you can guess from which:
Have you ever listened to woman talk?
I haven’t, but I assume it goes something like, “Blah blah blah, Amy Schumer. Blah blah, menstruation, blah blah blah.”
Who needs it? Men know the truth: silence is golden.
The only communication taking place between waves should come in the form of grunts, whistles, dirty looks, or punching.
Surfing is serious business. We’re not out there looking to hold hands and sing Kumbaya. We’re there to shred, bro!
Ugh and etc.
If The Inertia and Stab both promised to cease and desist with surf satire forevermore I’d promise to never ever write another surf word as long as I live and am totally serious.
Zach? I know you have very hurt feelings but how much easier would your life/business model be if I was gone? Be honest here. Ashton? You failed to get the police interested in taking me down but I’m gone if you commit to cutting surf satire forever.
That’s how much I care.
That’s how much I care about cutting this damned cancer from our ranks once and for all.
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Is there any redeeming value to ICP? I’m genuinely asking as I’ve barely listened to anything from them.
After I had my 3 kid I only had time for 2 mags, SJ for gloss and BG for digital, since then life has been way more simple, try it Chas hav a couple more groms
Why are the titles to every Inertia article so long? It seems like every single article is a satire based on the length of each title.
The inertia is all crap. Stab is half crap but at least they create some footage, events, stab in the dark, etc. and have a good article every now and then. Beach grit is half crap too but doesn’t create any content….also thinks it’s way cooler than it is. 20% of the articles on here are great but a lot of them are like articles from a 90s teen magazine but related to surf
I loved BeachGrit Rory. Did he really change once on Stab? Or was it us who changed?
It’s all Derek Rielly. The greatest editor ever. Derek can make even the dullest rock shine and that’s the honest truth. Look at me!
Is that true? An editor can make such a diff?
Bring back Maynard and the Rat!!
What about Captain Goodvibes or the dude with the huge nuts?
Gonad Man .
Yeah, Gonad Man. he was satire wasn’t he?
Isn’t the WSL also investing in surf satire? How else do you explain the no loser rounds?
What is the Juggalo equivalent in surfing?
Bobby Martinez
Mmm. Humourous answer but to be fair I think Bobby was keeping it pretty real.
How about Elo?
Or that Uncle Titso fella?
There’s a buddy movie for you.
It practically writes itself.
I can see the novelisation in the Oprah book club already.
as Chas said, the J-Los are in on the joke, so it must be JOB.
edit – and also the joke is not as funny as any of them think…
Chas have you discussed this with Derek? Is he happy to run this thing solo?
***Off-Topic***
Just read that a 6.1 quake hit New Zealand near North Island. Isn’t that where Negatron is on his trip? Hope he’s okay.
Was the lower North Island
And pretty deep to boot.
6.1 but a tremor down there these days
I’m in France going for my 7th consecutive clean snap today.
No toilet paper?
Yeah it’s a thing here too, just saving the trees one poo at a time.
OK you fuck off and leave us with Stab and The Inertia – very thoughtful of you.
If nobody was doing surf satire everything would be ok.
It may seem like the solution right now to you, but I doubt it will improve surf media for users like me.
Did you not find it odd that your insta that shared a lot of #getsendy got canned and then WSL starts up Get Sent? Your lack of criticism of this garbage is also deafening.
I haven’t actually watched any! Are they still doing them?
Mate, if you watched it you would publicly announce some profanities of irreparable damage towards the wsl. I’m deadset baffled that you haven’t.
BeachGrit is high art
The Inertia is low art
STABMAG is no art
Stabs Greenroom Times is the cringiest thing on Earth, but they INSIST it’s funny
It’s kinda too true to be satire.
Right?l
don’t make me come over there, man
Wow
Negging really does work!
How about halfway
Let’s say Maui
ha ha ha fuck, walked into that one!
Get a room you two!