Surf Ranch
The beautiful pipes of Surf Ranch coming to an unlovely part of Australia. And next door, sorta, to the Webber pool! | Photo: KSWaveCo

(Hot) Rumour: WSL to build surf ranch next to Webber wave pool in Queensland crime heartland!

One of Australia's unloveliest towns to be gifted two wavepools! A Surf Ranch and a Webber!

Rumours are rarely as hot as this. From a source ever so well connected with the WSL, it has been revealed over the course of several long phone calls, that Logan, south of Brisbane, will be getting its own Surf Ranch on the site of the old Ingham Chicken factory – the second lousy town to be revived by the fantastic Slater-Fincham device.

And, said the source, the WSL wants to get it built…fast… as it tries to wrestle momentum away from American Wave Machines and Wavegarden with their commercially proven designs.

The name’ll be familiar because it’s where the company Tunnel Vision is going to build a Webber pool. The construction certificate, for that tank, is due to be passed within days. And if there ain’t complications, in come the diggers for a build that could take, in theory, as little as four months.

Greg Webber was in Thailand watching slow-motion footage of Kelly at his pool when BeachGrit started throwing lines at 4:53am, local time.

I wrote, “WSL building pool nearby, what’s happening with yours etc, could Tunnel Vision have changed tech and we’re talking about the same build?”

“Unlikely. They’ve asked me if it’s possible to make an unending ride with a looped linear. I sighed, thinking my god, asking for such a change so late but I went over it in my head and worked out that it’s possible.”

Did he believe Tunnel Vision will go with the endless loop?

“Yes, since it’ll make for a really novel experience. Trippy almost Going from a peeing point break stye with an acute ange to the gradient then bowly almost ninety-degree angled wall with a whitewash pal as you go around the end curve. Then, gradually getting faster and faster as it goes back to peeling pointbreak on the straight gradient again… No matte what there’ll be a wall where it hits the curved end pool step. It might not offer more than a cutback or two but who cars, you’ve just rounded the bend for your next high-speed run. Imagine, rippable first wall, ride the bend, then peeing pipe. Kind of fun…and…and exciting.”

How’d it change the design?

“Had to almost double the width of the centre island to do it. Plus other hub angle and speed changes.”

Of course, with the secrecy surrounding the building of pools and the millions of dollars involved, nothing is what it seems, and the proof will be, as they say in the classics, in the pudding.

If it happens, Logan, with its multi-generational unemployment, poverty and ultra-high crime rate (ram-raids, granny drug dealers, incest, murder, incest-murder, cop killers and so forth) might be changed forever.

And changed in the most beautiful way.

More as this story develops.

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kneehighdesigns
kneehighdesigns
7 years ago

thanks for the pool updates, as for the comments on Logan !!! Really!! C’mon u make its sound so so bad , have u lived there? there are poor people in every city , and crime in every city, and more shit in melbourne and sydney than logan in fact Ive seen more shit in southport than logan , the old tales of logan came from long ago 25+plus years in fact, it has changed , some of australias greatest successes came out of the suburbs around logan, lets stop writing off the location of a new pool and think about passing laws and funding it so it can happen , think about the location as being a reasonable compromise on accessibility for sunshine coast , brisbane and gold coast surfers. Comments about whos going to logan? well I’d say generally speaking at least a 3rd of the population of SE Queensland uses the road out the front of the proposed site to travel up and down daily on the m1 ??

Barney
Barney
7 years ago

That’s shit hot for Bogan

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

It will be called “Logans Run” and the repercussions of failure could be harsh

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
7 years ago

i call for a moratorium on the use of “Webber Wave Pool”.

until there’s a pool, and a wave, the phrase is nonsensical.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago
Reply to  Ricoimmo

there is a pool. its nice and close to the highway. you can sit in it and wave to cars. not sure how “webber” fits into it though. perhaps its just a mispelling of the adjoining bbq area.

davidcarson
davidcarson
7 years ago

“Joining the World Surf League is something I never thought this kid from landlocked Oklahoma would say, but it’s happening. I’m beyond grateful tothe WSL for the chance to join the already exceptional team for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

If I have learned one thing from Oprah over the past decade, it’s this: there is a “divine order” to the universe and our job is to get into that flow. We must LISTEN to what the universe is saying. So here I am. Marrying my passion with my career in this way is something only a higher power could forge for me. I’m humbled by this moment and still in a state of “I can’t believe this is happening!” But it is…. You’ll hear me say this a lot, but it’s true: #followyourpassion #liveyourpassion”

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
7 years ago
Reply to  davidcarson

please tell me that the above is satire.

mattjohnson
mattjohnson
7 years ago

See reply below to Nick

Seas Nail
Seas Nail
7 years ago

I want to know if they have plans to modify or re-invent their technology. Seems pretty obvious to me that the train-wake system has already been superseded and the WSL will be left flogging a dead horse once again if they stick to the Lemoore set-up.

Tobiashjjhg Blue
Tobiashjjhg Blue
7 years ago

Did i miss something to do with peeing in a pipe?

Indo Techno
Indo Techno
7 years ago

I heard a (hot) rumour that Weber is a cooked goose.

lorne
lorne
7 years ago

what is the actual benefit of Logan? cheap land, warm weather?? given it’d be a 10 hour drive up the coast to get there for me driving past a million actual waves i really can’t see any reason why i’d actually go there, surely that’s the same for most of your core surf types. who the hell is going to Logan?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  lorne

Cheap land, probs council shekels and a position midway between the Gold Coast and Brisbane that has already proved to be popular via the theme parks there.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
7 years ago

In other words, the WSL will build a new wave pool next to the very shallow semi-constructed mass grave containing Greg Webber’s dreams.

surfmom
surfmom
7 years ago

DOH aspirations breaking over a delusions of grandeur reef.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago

Yeah well I heard Roadshow/Dreamworld, but it’s all a bit hot air right now.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Do you get calls every day about pools being built here, there and everywhere, too?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago

Not EVERY day. I do really listen when they come from people without a direct interest in promoting ’em though — like, people who are seriously considering partnership etc. And I really listen most closely when it involves the KSWC, because well, there’s runs on the board and there’s a Plan, and it’s backed by huge money.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

And a steely determination that it shall not fail.

mattjohnson
mattjohnson
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Yes , not everybody has a sugar daddy like Dirt Ziff, billionaire in their back pocket. But how could Slater’s tank, (in its present state) with one wave every 3 minutes, even be remotely profitable?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  mattjohnson

That pool in Lemoore is already profitable if you discount some of the opportunity cost of the investment. If the WSL has six or seven such things operating all around the world, all in slightly different ways, they will actually own a profitable wave pool biz connected to a world pro sporting endeavour, and a lot of land to boot. I dunno if pro surfing will ever fully reward their investment, but that will give them any number of ways to cash in on it.

astro
astro
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Dirk just needs to expand the concept. The plow type wake wave with a couple of lesser variations coupled with a beach style gated community of villas and flash houses – et voila !
Surf safe for rich pricks – no need to hang with derro cunts at the beach.
A mini Hollister Ranch !

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  astro

Lock the gate to keep them in . Build a wall around them to make it harder to get out of the best prison money can buy ? And before you can say Incarceration Orange is the new Black ?

madmaxmedia
madmaxmedia
7 years ago
Reply to  astro

It’s all fun and games, until that Silicon Valley guy buys all the land surrounding it and shuts off access.

mattjohnson
mattjohnson
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

As you know Nick, the whole real surfing experience is way more than just catching a wave, it’s paddling out and leaving the mainstream behind, the city, the cars, the buildings, the hassles. When my feet leave the concrete and hit the sand and I smell that salt air, see that blue horizon, I feel like I’ve entered another world. No tank will ever replace that. Oh well, I guess we’ll eventually see how this all plays out. Let them have their new yuppie toy. I’m still stoked I’ve got the real thing.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  mattjohnson

Oh I totally know what you mean. The funny thing is that everybody involved is all like “This will never replace the Ocean”. To which I sorta think, “Well why the fuck are you even doing it?”

Then I think, “Go right the fuck ahead.”

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Sure it can be made to break even on a day to day basis if all you are dealing with is overheads.
It’s hard to see how they are eating into the cost of the land purchase and construction. And even if they got lucky buying a failed water-skiing park for a song, they won’t be able to do that every time. Economies of scale don’t work in this instance either. Millionaire’s playground but not a profit making venture at one wave every 8 minutes.

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
7 years ago
Reply to  mattjohnson

nick has already broken this down but basically – there’s so many rich people/corporations in silicon valley/LA/santa barbara/OC that they can sell private surf days at $50k/ day.
that’s how.

plus, the whole thing about 1 wave every 4 minutes is that once you’ve ridden one wave that long, you need a few minutes to catch your breath and let your legs recover. so it doesn’t feel like you’re sitting around for a long time.

on the other hand, unless you’ve got the place to yourself (unlikely) you’re not going to get that many waves per day. so you’re left wanting more.

mattjohnson
mattjohnson
7 years ago
Reply to  Ricoimmo

Well dude, who knows how all of this is going to play out. I literally just walked in the door from a little body surfing session at the beach cuz the waves weren’t that good. Just being at the real beach, with the salt water and all the other elements around felt awesome. I don’t think they’re ever going to be able to package and sell that. And that’s a big part of what keeps me coming back.

But will they keep coming back to the surf tank month after month. Time will tell and it really doesn’t matter to me. I’m already stoked.


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