What is a surfer
The surfer in its many curious forms!

Quiz: What is a “surfer”?

Are you a surfer and why?

Earlier today, a BeachGrit reader made a strong point regarding the surfer bona fides of the WSL’s new head of content, media and so forth, the “waterman” Mr Erik Logan.

“I know Elo,” wrote TheInertia regular KWhilden, “and he paddles out most mornings before dawn to surf, and then drives into work. It doesn’t really matter what he rides. In my book, that qualifies as someone who ‘surfs’.”

And so I wondered, is that all it takes to be a surfer? To enter the ocean on some sort of flotation device and express a devotion to this activity?

If I like punching things, growling at other men and wearing stretchy pants, does that make me an MMA fighter?

I’m hobbled by my own prejudices on the issue.

I don’t believe I can legally claim surfer status, even though its been my only game since I was twelve, because of the so many things I get wrong.

As for being a “waterman”, I think that requires a tremendous affinity with the ocean, not just an enthusiasm for big surfboards and spear guns.

Brad Melekian wrote about it beautifully in The Surfer’s Journal in the piece, What the hell is a Waterman? 

Think of today’s unimpeachables—Brian Keaulana, say, or Mark Healey, or Dave Kalama, or the late Rell Sunn—and you’ll find that you’re thinking of men and women who not only know or knew how to do certain things in the ocean with incredible skill, but men and women who knew why they were doing these things, and dedicated their lives to existing in deep harmony and accordance with that profound sense of purpose.

When we call someone a waterman, maybe what we’re really saying is that that person is entirely and uncommonly devoted—to their core, in a subculture already rife with uncommon devotion—to a coastal life lived in its totality, to the raw, edge-of-nature wilderness experience that the ocean can offer, and to the possibility that such devotion can lead to a better existence not just as a person in the ocean, but as a person in search of a meaningful life.

Now, you tell me: What is a surfer and when did you start calling yourself a surfer, if ever?

KENNY POWERS GOES SURFING
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Real Estate Schmuck
Real Estate Schmuck
7 years ago

: )

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago

You guys are so unbelievably fucking neurotic. I mean I am too, but Christ, you put me to shame.

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

Unbelievable….what next? you gonna tell me that Ben lived out of a van parked on the side of scenic roads in Malibu?

C4cereal
C4cereal
7 years ago

V3 is here.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago

Ken apparently also misses the Inertia.

StarJamma
StarJamma
7 years ago

I’m not sure I give a fuck anymore. I’m at the age where getting in the water is great. I might have cared at like 16 or 25 or even 30 something but not today. And all those times I was in the water, only about 25 percent of it was on what you would call “surfing”, on a board less than 6’6″ that wasn’t a boogie board. Nowadays I fuck off on longboards or “big” fish (for older guys who never quite got great), my 6’3″ quad gets used less and less.

But believe me when I say that to anyone who doesn’t get in the water, I am a goddamn surfer in their eyes. To other surfers, should I care?

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
7 years ago

I’m not a surfer, I don’t want to be a surfer, but I love to surf. I won’t like a life without surf.

turts
turts
7 years ago

Everyone needs a label these days. Here’s mine, ‘Useless cunt’.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago

I don’t have an answer to it, but most surfers I know have asked themselves some pretty fucken serious questions about their lives as a result of surfing, and then said with regard to those questions, “Nah fuck it”

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Amen. Totally “blue off” the last swell and have been telling myself it doesn’t matter for days since. A life of surfing, chasing good waves is a behavior that at some point in your life has to be questioned! Realty hurts..

Party Pete
Party Pete
7 years ago

A surfer is not a try hard.

Gino
Gino
7 years ago

Just give me back the board Lance,it was a good board and I like it.You know how hard is to find a board you like.
Pretty sure if you rate this as the 2nd best scene in a movie, just behind the revenge scene in Sleepers, you are a surfer.

janeausten
janeausten
7 years ago
Reply to  Gino

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

hard to go past Waxer’s Eulogy as a definition of a Surfer.

Red
Red
7 years ago

A surfer is someone who scores uncrowded good waves and DOESN’T post it online or tell everyone about it in the hope it’s uncrowded next time. He is selfish.
A surfer is someone that see’s a crowded spot and walks down the beach to escape the crowd, instead of paddling straight out the front.
A surf is someone that is in first name basis with all or most of the local shapers in the area and old salty sea dogs in the lineup everyday.
A surfer loves surfing alone, is pissed off if you paddle out to spoil his fun.
A surfer is someone who has ruined at least 1 serious relationship in there life by surfing too much.
A surfer doesn’t turn up to the beach with a car load of his buddies.
A surfer is someone that dislikes kooks.

Scott Bass sums it up perfectly: Surfers are the worst!

I am a surfer.

Earnest Savilgroin
Earnest Savilgroin
7 years ago

A surfer rides waves, is a co dependant to the Ocean. I know Elo “Midnight, on the water, I saw the oceans daughter. Sailing on a wave chicane..

surfmom
surfmom
7 years ago

Mister blue sky please tell us why you had to hide away for so long (so long)

Where did we go wrong?

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
7 years ago

Ah the big man’s willy. Very impressive.

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago

Generally based on how many poor life decisions and ruined relationships you can credit to the pursuit of water time? If surfing to you is just a part of a balanced and healthy lifestyle, you’re doing it wrong. It’s an addiction that consumes all else. What other sport would list smoking meth as an accoutrement? You should be negative about everything – negatibe about the waves, negative about the state of surfing. Negative towards people who don’t love surfing, but also even more negative to those that overtly do. Surfing’s not meant to be fun. And when asked if you’d make the same decisions in life again, your answer should be ‘I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.’

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

How’s about ‘What is a Troll’?

Did you you guys really pay Ben Marcus to come on here and stir shit?

Fair play to you if you did, it worked.
…some of us are really curious for a straight answer.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I scrolled past all that maybe should re visit now!

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

At the Surf Ranch Pro Ben was handed $100 by a surf industry executive as encouragement to keep up his good work here at BG. Negatron pointed out to Ben that that executive is a friend of Neg and that the $100 donation in fact originated from Neg. That’s my recollection.

Jen See
Jen See
7 years ago
Reply to  Otto

God, I clearly met the wrong people at Surf Ranch Pro.

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

BFB uttered those exact words before departing for less directionally challenged work.

The MHL Buoy
The MHL Buoy
7 years ago

Clearly a surfer is some kind of a hybrid between Martin Potter and Erik Logan.

KRIS
KRIS
7 years ago

Derek, this slice of fucken awesome explains all…

https://youtu.be/6iaxDxHUWP8

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago
Reply to  KRIS

feel good hit of the summer

KRIS
KRIS
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

… and Nuclear Winter!

Earnest Savilgroin
Earnest Savilgroin
7 years ago
Reply to  KRIS

“Psychologically Overcast”, F.B.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

“C-c-c-c-c-cocaineeeeee!” (And Surfing!)

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

Type of craft is an important distinction.
Its why we’re all here for chrissake.

1000 SUP dawn patrols are cool. But thats not what we do.

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

a few weeks back I did dawn patrol at a point, on a 8 foot MF softboard foamy, it was shitbags everywhere.. I was getting more waves than the $1600 artist Longboards and throwing small buckets. I didn’t feel like I was surfing, I felt like I found a hobby and a very very small part of me felt like a dick taking all their waves.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  mine.mine.mine

being a dick is better than being as asshole or pussy… we all have to choose one of those options

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  mine.mine.mine

Those 8 foot MF softboard foamies sometimes have a mine all of their own. They can turn a line-up into a mine field right quick.

StarJamma
StarJamma
7 years ago
Reply to  mine.mine.mine

No, you’re totally surfing and participating in the surfing ecosystem by shaming those peeps and forcing them to question their life choices.

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
7 years ago
Reply to  StarJamma

It is astonishing how much of a conversation it is about boards.. and I was having the most fun for sure. So “I WIN!!!!!”… but i wasn’t surfing

StarJamma
StarJamma
7 years ago
Reply to  mine.mine.mine

Yeah, that’s a point I think I missed. That’s your perception, not theirs. You were surfing rings around them from their point of view. Maybe nobody was surfing that day??

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
7 years ago
Reply to  StarJamma

I was being sarcastic

East of the 5
East of the 5
7 years ago

A surfer is a rich kid who lives near the beach and plays golf at the club when the surf sucks. He/she also wears Salty Crew and Brixton gear way too much. He/she watches MMA while doing key snappers and whammies. He/she also most likely has a drug/drinking problem and ultimately ends up going to a state school and majors in communications.

IkeaMonkeySurfsBetterthanYou
IkeaMonkeySurfsBetterthanYou
7 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

If you personally know any men like that please give them my number


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