Derek Hynd: “Lust in the history of mankind has always conquered logic!”

Have you ever lost an eye then been molested?

David Lee Scales has interviewed very many people in surf. He has interviewed Derek Rielly, Devon Howard and me amongst hundreds of others. Possibly thousands of others. I was so impressed with his talent that I became his partner on the sometimes bi-weekly podcast Grit!.

Another episode drops tomorrow featuring the wonderful Devon (fucking) Howard and you’d think that either Derek Rielly, Devon Howard or me would be the greatest interview of David Lee Scales’ young life but none of us are.

The Australian impresario* Derek Hynd is.

Do you not know of Derek Hynd?

The historical impresario* Matt Warshaw describes him thusly:

Bright, quirky Australian pro surfer and journalist from Newport, New South Wales; world-ranked #7 in 1981; author of hundreds of surf media articles and columns between the early ’80s and the early ’10s.

Ben Marcus, a one-time surf writer, freaks out, literally, when anyone is compared to him. Like, loses his mind but literally not figuratively.

David Lee Scales, the podcast impresario*, says, “This is perhaps the greatest 20 minutes of audio I’ve ever captured.”

Should I have my feeling hurts? Probably but I’ve also never lost an eye before getting sexually fiddled with while it was getting put back in.

I think you should listen.

 

*Impresario is defined as “A person who organizes and often finances concerts, plays, or operas.” None of these people do that, as far as I’m aware, but don’t you like the way impresario feels? It has gravitas.

Don’t you think?

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Corey Webster
Corey Webster
7 years ago

I thought it was a great interview, entertaining. If people thought Scales could have done better, they can always start their own podcast and show us what’s up with their own masterfully fantasized skills. I hope DH takes on more podcast interviews, even if he’s a little hard to follow sometimes with his passionate references from a different age, I’m still totally interested in what he has to say.

Louis P
Louis P
7 years ago

DH is the kind of character that makes surfing appealing. 5 stars DLS. Haters gonna hate.

Nick Dee
Nick Dee
7 years ago

I decided to listen to the whole interview. Derek is certainly intensely passionate & serious (and critical).

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Do you think he’s sneaking in yet? I don’t think he could bothered trying not to be himself.

commenter
commenter
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

He’s all over the place. You aren’t paying attention.

Surf Hunk
Surf Hunk
7 years ago

No matter how much a person wants to portray themselves, the more you hear them speak, the more you get an idea of what kind of person they actually are.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Yep fucken TCarroll lost an asshole once I believe?
But he’s cool?

commenter
commenter
7 years ago

And the 11th grade was the best three years of your life.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

That won’t stick

Can talk a mean one
Can talk a mean one
7 years ago

Derek is a legend….but mostly in his mind!

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
7 years ago

“LUST IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAS ALWAYS CONQUERED LOGIC!”

Man needs an editor something fierce.

commenter
commenter
7 years ago

A has-been surf writer is the best kind of surf-writer to be.

Do it when you’re young, say what you have to say, get paid to see the world and have adventures, change things if you can, help as many people as you can, make life-long friends then get out and do something meaningful, non-trivial.

Because surf-writing, in the end, is trivial.

Even more so now that everyone does it.

headhighreefs
headhighreefs
7 years ago

A few lines of brilliance between gobs of self-righteous, nearly incoherent rambling. People who weave unimportant details into a story place far too much self-importance on themselves.

commenter
commenter
7 years ago

“Feelings hurt” not “feeling hurts.”

And freak outs are deserved when a future one-time surf writer – who in a moment of clarity, freaks out and realizes he is wasting his life on nonsense – dares to publish an astonishingly clueless, self-congratulatory sentence like this: “*Longtom elevated the tour to a state of high art. I don’t think that has ever been done before. Matt Warshaw? Nick Carroll? Correct me please but there’s no way I’m wrong.*”

A. Longtom isn’t worth the steam off Derek Hynd’s shit, if it’s okay to borrow a phrase borrowed from an Aussie bloke from Port Hedland met in Fiji way back when. Rod was his name. His #1 goal in life was to travel to America and drive a Corvette Stingray.

B. Does accuracy or credibility mean anything here in this disposable Babble-on Internet age, now that every dingaling and his grandmother is a one-time surf writer? No? Okay.

This guy isn’t wrong (Hey, is that Chas?) https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
7 years ago

If I had a nickel for every time I lost an eye and got fondled…well that’s why they call me Nicholas

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Get an interview with a current brazzo journo Dave.
They dominate right now and are hella interesting.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Spit it out Scotty. Wots yer accusation?

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
7 years ago

Anyway, what sort of cunt steals someone’s dog, abandons it to fend for itself when he fucks off out of the country for months, moans about losing it, then dreams about it and professes to love dogs?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

A dick cunt?

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

In Fair Scotland, where fairies roam and haggises bound, I believe one would label this as a ‘Cunty Baws’.

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Nah, cunty baws has moderate connotations of endearment.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Mmmm. Perhaps I’mremembering it wrong, or D’d had differing opinions. I bow to your superior Scottishness.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago

“shit cunt” or “a proper cunt” would both be appropriate to portray this level of cuntary ( cuntardary )

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
7 years ago

If anyone’s looking for a better depiction of Hynd, I would suggest The Surfer’s Journal issue 25.1, “Edges of Disaster” by Steve Shearer.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

And for those of us who don’t subscribe?

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I’ll scan it for you later if I get a moment.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Thanks!

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I just scanned it then had a crisis of copyright conscience. TSJ are one of the last bastions of quality print media, and a unicorn in surfing. Far be it from me to reproduce their content unsolicited.

You can get the article from their archive here – https://www.surfersjournal….

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Fair dues Chazz.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
7 years ago

I just read the article after I gave the Surfers Journal $3.99 for the download. Figured it’s for a good cause and let them know people are paying money to read Longtoms work. I was tripping at first when you as a writer said you were going to scan a fellow writers work and give it away for free. I was thinking that could piss off Longtom, especially since you are a writer yourself and like to be paid if you write for a publication that costs money and is not free. And guys write for the same site(Beachgrit). Good to see that you caught yourself before the damage was done. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to read the article for free, I just thought it was unusual for a writer to offer to copy and paste another’s stuff to a free site. And I’m glad I read the article, it sounds like Derek was acting like a real asshole who pissed everybody off on the trip. Sounds like he pissed off his girlfriend, the other surfers, and Longtom as evidenced by the article he wrote about the desert trip.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Pull ya wallet out tighty
Ya wouldn’t shout if a shark bit ya!

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

I’m a tight-ass to myself that’s fer sure.
Besides, magazines… they just end up gathering dust.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Yes they must bet bored, then they start looking for it.

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

Thom York x Unkle SSD!
https://youtu.be/RCG7qJAP7Qk

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

I raise you a Nick Cave x UNKLE!

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

Some of the best right there!

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

And I’ll throw in an UNKLE x Josh Homme for good measure.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

Timeless

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
7 years ago

I couldn’t.


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