King of Jaws and king of spin's ambitious behavioural modifications…
Don’t you love an active uncensored mouth? The Maui surfer Albee Layer, who is twenty-seven, and as well-known for his tell-it-like-it-is spirit as much as his big-wave and small-wave prowess, just released a portfolio of New Year resolutions.
From the top: Flip a bike, party a little less, stay under 200 pounds, quit dipping, proper back 9, front 7, go to flight school while injured, get a wave I’ll never forget at Jaws, get budget approved to start shooting a new movie in 2020, be a little more social and nice, help more people I’m not close to, get fined twice as much from the WSL.
Did you resolve to change your behaviour in 2019?
Mine are less grand than Albee’s although very important to me: Stop with the mirror work (turn mirror that faces shower around), stay in the pocket of waves, at least once feel my back foot on the tail-pad’s block, ride boards that don’t resemble, quite so much, the blunt instruments of the adult learner, save up for a Pyzel Ghost, create a revenue stream for BeachGrit so we can keep Longtom’s contest reports, and ride the Waco pool once the filters have been installed.
I donated plasma ONCE. At Alpha Plasma Center in the ghetto near City College in the early 90’s. I could make $200 month by stopping by after class, and was right next to the bus and trolley stop to back to Ocean Beach. Took hours to get registered and do blood and AIDS test. Finally, time to donate! Make $20. Nurse couldn’t find the vein with a needle the size of a golf pencil. And I had prominent veins. She stuck me over and over until another nurse stuck me again and found the vein. By this time my arm was bleeding and had multiple huge holes in it. Sat around in a cirle looking at homeless drunks with grass and stickerbush seeds stuck in their hair all donating for another bottle. Surrounded by the dregs of society. Filled my 40 oz bottle with yellow plasma after having to get stuck again after it stopped halfway cuz the needle was too deep in my arm. Got my $20 and vowed to never do it again. I had a hole in my arm that looked like a weeping vagina for days that took over a week to start to heal. No way could I do that 3X a week. My arms would look worse than Sid Viscous at his worse depths of addiction. Fuck that, even if I could almost pay my rent just by stopping by after class. Still traumatized by the memories.
couldnt chas’s wife spread a little wassaman fairy dust to take the pain away, or im sure there is an eccentric billionaire on some yacht with a penchant for sophisticated well dressed blond haired men and equally matched deep driving hatred of dirk ziff, that could put chas to work as a deck hand?
a cerffs right finger or cerffies lament
You got this!
What is ‘Dipping’?
1. Be a good husband
2. Stay sane
3. Surf less junk and more quality
4. Order 8’6 Desert Storm and paddle into legit 15ft wave
5. Go even faster on my Dynastar Pro Riders
CROTCH: Carroll’s Right ‘Onorable Toobs, Carves ‘n’ Hackz. Ltd
also, if you like the fink check out colemine records.
KEXP is a goldmine. i got into orgone from this vid, but listening back i was less impressed. their releases since this are a lot stronger. the live shows are sublime.
wheres my Beach Grit(TM) HydroFlask(TM)!!!!????
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I honestly feel stupid when I try to read Longtom
I feel stupid when I read 90 percent of whats written here
I had no idea surfers went to Uni,
Omg I reckon Chas would have one of these at his house
Proper back 9
Is he a golfer?
And wots the ‘front 7’?
its a six pack after work and one for the drive home. its usually followed by a proper back 9 when you get home and dinner looks shithouse.
Pay your boys and girl in Gritcoin.
What about just a picture of the fish?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
isn’t it the prettiest thing?
I don’t fancy a gobble o’dem teef!
It’s a fish? I’d assumed it was a euphemism!
Quitting chew is easy I’ve done it a hundred times!
But seriously I can’t quit my cope wintergreen I love it too much.
I like it! I thunk up a similar title while I was out adult learning just earlier. Fuck I love it when the dude on the sup (unscrupulously claiming any peak in the vicinity) falls off, sending a grin and some “haha cunt” chuckles throughout the lineup. And the solidarity in the shaking heads at each other in disbelief as he almost peels another one of us out. Stand-up fuckn citizens they’re not.
+ Arctic Cammo x JoJo Siwa
If you can surf like him, you can flip a bike no question
Fuckin hurts when you fuck it up though.
Dragon blood!