Tokyo 2020: U.S. Surfing facing “a bleaker situation” hires new head coach!

"The United States Olympic Committee is concerned. They want medals and preferably gold."

2020 will be here before we all know it, bringing with it the Olympic Games and surfing’s first ever appearance. Australia is turning its proud eyes toward Bede “The White Fijian” Durbidge to train up their Julian Wilsons and Noa Deanes for silver. Brazil has some fabulous head surf coach, for certain, but won’t need him or her as Gabriel Medina, Filipe Toledo and Italo Ferrari will be prohibitive favorites to split the gold. China has one of the greatest Australians to ever get elbowed in the face (Pete Townend) and South Africa has Michael February.

But what about the United States of America?

Well, U.S. Surfing did have Joey Buran up until basically yesterday but swapped him for a new coach in the face of “a bleaker situation” and let’s turn to the Santa Cruz Sentinel for more:

USA Surfing on Jan. 1 named Chris Gallagher Stone its head coach and the man in charge of ensuring U.S. surfers bring home some medals from Tsurigasaki Beach, the surf venue for the 2020 Games. In addition to his new duties, Gallagher Stone will continue to work as the organization’s elite technical coach.

Gallagher Stone, who grew up in Santa Cruz, will replace Joey Buran at the position. Buran, a former Pipeline Masters champion, had been with USA Surfing since it formed in June 2017 and was named head coach in May 2018. He resigned in December to commit more time to his family and his job as senior pastor of Orange County’s Worship Generation church, according to an email he sent to Team USA members last month.

Gallagher Stone has plenty of work ahead of him, however. The U.S. Olympic Committee has made it clear it expects medals in the fledgling sport. Yet, while the women are in good position to finish on the podium — Lakey Peterson of Santa Barbara and Carissa Moore of Hawaii are currently ranked Nos. 2 and 3, respectively — the U.S. men are facing a bleaker situation. As of Monday, the top two Americans on the tour are No. 7 Conner Coffin of Santa Barbara and No. 11 Kolohe Andino of San Clemente.

“The USOC is concerned about that,” Cruse said. “They want medals, and preferably gold.”

Ummmmm yeah, maybe the USOC (United States Olympic Committee) should lower its sights to 5th – 7th place.

Or give Filipe Toledo a green card.

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Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
7 years ago

Wow, I never heard that news here about them violating parole. Just the trial and everything when it first went down. So sad.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
7 years ago

I thought it was The Shack? But you are probably correct, I had already moved to Hawaii when that went down. It was big new here, the Kauanui kid was from here. I did tons of parting in those areas in the 90’s too. Schooners was a good spot in PB, plenty hot chicks there. I had my first legal beer at Pac Shores the night I turned 21. But I had drank in there before that, just had my friends hand me beers in the pool room. They used to have unopened cases of beer stacked in the pool room too. Just discretely open one up and slide out a warm Budweiser for free. I have fond memories of there. I got a blowjob once in Pac Shores while sitting at the bar on the left side when you walk in, near the phone booth. Ordering another drink from the bartender while the chick is crouched out of sight between my legs being a good girl. Nice and dark in there. My friends grandpa was one of the original owners too, but that didn’t stop him from being kicked out a few times. What did your wife do to be 86’ed for life? Good times, glad I survived though. I still tear it up occasionally, but not like the old days. This old man can’t handle that level of mayhem anymore.

Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin
7 years ago

why cant ross do it, he’s got some free time

Invasive Species
Invasive Species
7 years ago

He gets a name drop every once in a while when someone on tour rides one of his boards. Generally in Hawaii it seems

Medina's Hairless Armpits
Medina's Hairless Armpits
7 years ago

divey-est dive bar with a very itchy trigger finger when 86’ing people… I got multiple month bans but a lifetime ban impressive (golf clap for your wife)

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
7 years ago

It sounds like you are watching live gay porn?
But I’m guessing it’s a surf competion?

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
7 years ago

Previous substance abuse maybe?

East of the 5
East of the 5
7 years ago

I believe so, the one kid was playing QB at UNH but I think the one who threw the punch got life. That was a terrible night.

hawkridesdirt
hawkridesdirt
7 years ago

The Unknown Comic surfs circles around Gallagher. He should be the coach.

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago

Yes, hows it gonna look if the birthplace of modern surfing cant pull down a 1st 2nd or 3rd.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
7 years ago

what will trump serve the us mens surf team after winning bronze?

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  dickie toledo

Maccas Açaí-effect bowls.

timsluis
timsluis
7 years ago

Gally coached Jordy to a critical heat win over Medina at pipe, thus allowing Julian to break the Brazilian stranglehold on world surfing. Oh wait. That didn’t happen.

East of the 5
East of the 5
7 years ago

It better center on drug trafficking at SDSU, the Bird Rock Bandits, Nate “Full of Hate” Cintas, the dark side of amateur surfing, the over-sexualization of the men’s WSL, and why the …lost team from the 1990’s remains the best surfing team any brand has ever assembled!!!!!

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
7 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Its more like Nate “Cry Baby” Cintas in my opinion. Waaaah, waaaahh! Isn’t he a realtor now? I pity the people that have to work with him.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Bread and circuses.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

SSD I reckon it’s a Rolling Stone and decided to leave the desert to meet up with its Gallagher brother at the Oasis ?

slater thenewdonkey
slater thenewdonkey
7 years ago

If they do the olympics in a fucking pool as opposed to the ocean, well, lets just say that that would be the biggest joke in the history of jokes.

Old Kook
Old Kook
7 years ago

Did I read that right? China has PT? Australian? When was the last time he lived in Australia? And how is he the coach for China?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Old Kook

Well since MP called everyone Chine ( except PT who he probably called ? ) there is a good chance that PT thought Coolangatta was part of China ! Gday Chine and hello Asia

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  Old Kook

He’s not. He’s just helping guide them a bit.

Toin coss
Toin coss
7 years ago

Is Kelly available? How’d USA Dir. Cruse miss that? Win/win transition for all stakeholders. Triumphant King passing the torch to JJF, Griff.. etc.. Kelly ascends to WSL global castle

Respect
Respect
7 years ago

I vote Chas… US coach….if not make it Bruce irons!

Bleach'd Git
Bleach'd Git
7 years ago

It’s The Venerable Bede.

Don’t make me put my spanking cap on.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago
Reply to  Bleach'd Git

Spanking cap deserves many many upvotes.

astro
astro
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Tastefully and appropriately accessorised with a left handed wank sock. The right hand is kept free for righting injustices and is free to swing. Yellow seems to be in fashion but really, any colour will do.

Hot stuff
Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  astro

You are the kinkiest one so far babe.


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