Where has the consensus number 1 gone?
Imagine that you are Ron “dog” Blakey with me for a moment. Imagine that you just woke up in your Byron* home, put on the kettle to make some coffee. Everything around you is clean and modern. Subtle elegance. Stainless steel where it’s appropriate. Eggshell subway tile where it isn’t. The kettle whistles, you pour over your Chemex, crafting a mug of perfect second wave. Ahhhh. The taste of… dare you say success?
Oh of course you dare. Throughout this last World Surf League Championship Tour season you became the consensus best commentator on the World Surf League airwaves. Peter Mel never quite reached his potential. Ross Williams went away. It was revealed months ago that Martin Potter has actually been dead for a year and a half.
Your golden baritone, touched with broad Australian charm, has become the standard. The stainless steel standard.
You take another sip of coffee, flip open your Apple MacBook Pro’s lid and log onto [email protected] (password: Attackdogtits36).
Email, email, email, press release from the World Surf League that you haven’t seen before. Something about an upcoming Nazaré Challenge and Jaws Challenge.
You click and read…
“Longtime WSL play-by-play announcer Joe Turpel and former World Champion Martin Potter call the action from some of the most remote and exotic surfing locations in the world. Rosy Hodge (former Championship Tour competitor) and Strider Wasliewski serve as commentators reporting from the water. In addition, Ross Williams and Big Wave Champion Peter Mel round out the commentary team.”
Wait. Something’s not right. Something is clearly wrong. You read again except the same problem sits there like terminal cancer.
Your name is gone.
You throw your Chemex against the nearest wall, shattering it into a million pieces. The shards fall into the grout between the eggshell subway tiles and you curse the universe. You told her wife that everything should be stainless steel. You told her that cleaning glass shards, spilled rice and quinoa from between the tiles would be a total pain. Why didn’t she listen? Why doesn’t anybody just listen for pity’s sake?
Where did Ron Blakey go?
Why isn’t he included?
Coaching John John?
Sad that even though he rules the WSL airwaves his brother Vaughn is better at calling live surf action?
More to come!
*I don’t know where the Ronald Blakey’s actually live. They might live in Byron but they might also live in Lemoore. Who’s to say?