Horror at press release snub turns into joy…
Earlier today, a press release slip, Freudian or otherwise, indicated that the world’s number one surf commentator, Aaron “Ron” Blakey, had been cut from the WSL roster.
In a list of “current announcers”, the presser announced,
Longtime WSL play-by-play announcer Joe Turpel and former World Champion Martin Potter call the action from some of the most remote and exotic surfing locations in the world. Rosy Hodge (former Championship Tour competitor) and Strider Wasliewski serve as commentators reporting from the water. In addition, Ross Williams and Big Wave Champion Peter Mel round out the commentary team.
The response from fans was immediate.
The former pro Mike Lambresi, wrote: “I already spend half the broadcast yelling at the computer. If the big dog is gone my yelling time will probably go up as well. 🤯🤬😡”
From another fan of Blakey, “I’d rather clap my hands in shit than listen to a full seppo team.”
Another, “How will I get the missus to let me watch more now ? It was my trump card.”
Happily, a few moments ago, the WSL’s SVP of Global Brand Identity, Mr David Prodan, released a three word text message.
“Ron still on team.”
The best news, yes?
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get raped by sarge and your job should be guaranteed. best commentator on the team by far.
That’s a four word text message FYI
ok, WTF, are you just trying to fuck with us, or what
BREAKING!
BEACH GRIT STAFF KIDNAPPED BY HEZBOLLAH OPERATIVES.
Details pending… But sources say terror squad still upset about Smith’s bad haircut.
Three word text message is —
“Ron still on team?”
Come on guys!
Happy valentines day to all the girls I’ve never loved, yet.
I’m no mathematician but I am certain that is four words…
WSL needs a few more women in ‘The Booth’ as Drunken Angel writes.
ANY women on thee Judges panel? Or do only men judge all competition?
upvote for the italics, sweetheart x
What about Kaipo? What about Gigs? What about bloody Boi-L?
And another serious question: Does this mean Ross has split from JJF?
This is my second comment and I think these are all very important and valid questions that need answers – for me, for others, both here, and in other places, both physical and virtual.
Or…is JJF not going to surf this year?
I am a Gigs Fan .
Not the image of Rosy in black rubber I was hoping for, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Thee best Ron news since…
https://youtu.be/aRB0MiqIlfM
Thank god I was worried for a second I thought who is going commentate the downfall of modern surfing now that the only kid from Mullumbimby high besides Iggy azalea to make anything of themselves is gone
Putting the Mull back in Mullumbimby ?
geez you come up with that one yourself jimmy
Sorry . Maybe you would prefer putting the bile back in Bylesy
another illustrious alumni
Maybe Sal Masekela could get not the mic and drop some Cross Fit knowledge for the fatties like myself….
I loved listening to Sal do the Volcom Pipe Pro.
I thought they would replace him with Adam piece of Schiff.
CSI Yeppoon:
Scabby ranga investigator: (puts foot on edge of metal whomping-doughnut. Slowly takes off servo sunnies while squinting sagely into the sun) “I think… this investigation just entered a LEAGUE of it own…”
(Cue: Men at Work Soundtrack)
Looks like a clone…
If only I could clone a few Rosie’s….
It’s possible
Yeah, if you’re from the future. But even then you’d have the same issues the Terminator and Bill and Ted had.
The main issue Bill and Ted had was Bill’s crop top.
And why has the comment policy been edited? Has Negatron been removed from the team? He’s the fucking glue guy!
It’s the moderator’s equivalent of the out-of-office auto reply. I imagine he’s up to his elbows in someone’s plumbing and can’t answer the phone right now.
I meant the one from a couple of days ago that he’d signed off on requesting (rightly) people not be dumb dicks!
I felt like I was violating my own dull, dick and dumb rule… so edited it.
Your suspicions are confirmed.
Thanks Bex xx
Why the one IP address thing? Pretty sure mine changes more often than the WSL commissioner
To be honest it’s only a problem if you’re a problem… and you’re not.
I guess I’ve been pretty open here about deleting comments or banning people. It’s a polite warning as we’ve got afew here with multiple accounts or those that like to make a fuss then delete all their comments only to reappear with a new account. Not far on the people that engage with them.
Man, Prodan really needs to get that stick out his arse. The cunt’s so terrified of nuance and shades of interpretation that he’s been reduced to an output of only minor sentences.
Roses are red
The booth’s all men
Do we really need to have
This conversation again?
#Valentine
*Rosy is rarely in booth, we need an all women panel, although Strider can be the fluffer interviewer.
Like on ‘The View”
With all the moves the WSL tries to make it’s mind blowing, yet again, Pots, stryder and Turpell are still on the team. There has to be an opportunity for alternative commentary? I know its been tried before but what about it BeachGrit?
a Scottish lass, a queer queen from Sydney, and Matt Warshaw walk into a bar and what do you get? THE GREATEST WSL COMMENTARY TEAM EVER!
That would be much more entertaining. And replace the judges with the Eurovision judging panel.
oh that would be F.A.B.
Future WSL contests will include points for creative outfit coordination.
I keep calling this.
Incest on ice here we come.
I get to be RuPaul. me. me. me. pick me!!!!
Woah!
Flamboyant siblings doing each other while grilling their brains on the glass weber
That’s a
TRUE WSL STORY
right there. Scoop!
oOoOoOoPS sorry my bad.
I meant Incest On Waves: AKA: Aquatic Poncing 8.0
Whatever..
Don’t play casual, you’re measuring yourself for a sequined bustier as we type this nonsense.
It’s a valentine present for my Rosie, kisses baby!
Fukkit go all out..
Bring in the Village People and Howard Cosell.
Let’s get the fog and pony show a blazing.
And this years World Champ is ABBA who were closely followed by BUCKS FIZZ ……
This is what you want ,
This what you get ?
I’ll be the bird. And I’m sure Derek could do a turn as a queen. Matt?