Bones imploded, cerebral fluid polluting water etc.
Some stories need little embellishment, like a celebrity whose past is rich in love affairs or erotic episodes.
Like today’s story lifted from the British tabloid, The Daily Mail.
A SUP rider was belted in the face by his giant craft and broke his nose, both eye sockets and right cheek and, says the pilot, Steve Bowens, ‘the impact had imploded the bones which make up the sinuses, this had forced air around my brain, and created a hole from my skull to the outside world through which cerebral spinal fluid now flowed.’
According to the Mail,
Two facial surgeons spent nine hours working on him, during which time he was cut from ear to ear and his face peeled forward allowing the perforation to be patched with muscle.
His cheek also had to be rebuilt and his eye suspended on titanium mesh.
As the wave came to the end it sectioned. I bottom turned but misjudged it and took a tumble.
‘The wave was not big, about 3ft. However I landed in the wrong place at the wrong time and the board hit me square in the face, right between the eyes. The sensation was as if someone hit me with a baseball bat. It was violent and as I came to the surface I knew that I was likely to pass out. As soon as I surfaced I climbed back on, thinking that at least if I passed out I would have some chance of keeping my airway out of the water until the next wave. Looking down at the board it was like someone was pouring red paint from a bucket onto the deck. I had never seen so much blood before. I then started shouting, I didn’t care who saw me, only that someone would see where I was and that I needed help.’
A concerned surfer paddled over to Mr Bowens and asked if he needed help.
He added: ‘I told him I needed to get back to the beach, but he seemed unsure of how to help. Fortunately the next wave caught me and I managed to prone surf back to the shore.’
On reaching the beach Steve struggled to stand and was helped to the car park, where his wife Sally, a doctor, was called to take him to A&E.
He added: ‘The shock of the accident started to set in. I sat there, shivering, with blood still pouring from my face. The pain was fairly intense and I just wanted to be anywhere apart from sat there.’
Y’ever been hit that hard?
By board, human hand, reef, concrete?
Hope he makes a fast and full recovery but I’m going to say this. Better him than some other poor bastard trying to enjoy the surf. Kooks on SUPs should not ride waves near any other people.
I thought for a moment someone else got punched out by Ashton.
Is that Ronnie the limo driver?
They left the poor bastard in limbo regarding “Manual handling”.
Should he stop? Proceed with caution if it’s safe to do so? Or the light’s green man, wank away!
are his teeth OK? a most British concern!?
I once had a board (Dumpster) that loved to stay underwater for extended periods then shoot out long after the wave had passed.
It eventually got me good, shooting like a cork from the depths backwards at warp speed and my back fin (K2.1) puncturing my eye socket.
..
It’s biology…. I mean, physics and chemistry!
This one time I was riding my fish on a tiny beachie and at the end section which I thought I would hit I managed to flip my board and land on my fin arse first. It hurt a bit and I had to fix my wetty with shoe glue.
You are the hero we need.
I once caught a little fold of my my nut sack in my zipper.
It hurt and bled slightly.
It’s fine now.
Hit it with some shoe glue next time.
Those tubes are kinda hard!
That would hurt!
It’s waterproof and a tiny bit flexible
Fuk those gimp suits are dangerous ay!
Hope he didn’t look like brad Pitt before the wipeout, because, fuck.
Truly surprising that it doesn’t happen daily. Wonder if he’ll be keen to paddle back out again once recovered.
To sup or not to sup
Chas gonna do a podcast with Elo; after podcast they go out for drinks, Elo tries to prove he’s Grit, Chas does the same, epic binge ensues: above is a photo of what Elo would look like after said binge, which I imagine lasted about 36hrs, and included a trip to Mexico. In his infinite wisdom, David Scales doesn’t participate in drug fueled debauchery.
DLS comes across as the kind of bloke who would go but not imbibe beyond his predetermined limits.
you’re right! He wouldn’t miss out on all the fun.
Until you’ve copped a swallow-tail to the nuts, you haven’t experienced childbirth.*
*Hopefully my wife won’t see this.
Ouch
“S’up, fool?!”
so, what was it he said something about falling in the wrong place.. I have seen this so many fucking times, where the supper drops off the fucking duck boat they are captaining on the down wave side of the board and the board comes so damn close to racking them.. it is so bad makes me cringe.
Funny thing is, I enjoyed talking to Bruce. Sports talk in the driveway. The dialogue inside the house shook my faith in humanity.
Fuken weird that money shit!
two things:
a) Ironically enough considering Mr Vagina Cut at Malibu, I bet this was caused by Mr Broken Face’s legrope.
b) how was his foresight, marrying a DOCTOR!! Spooky!!!
There’s a lesson in here. I’m just trying to suss it out.
Man eats SUP
As they are far tastier
Than English cuisine
It’s Natural Selection at work.
3 times. Survived but scarred.
Ohhh fucken hell!