A total crap-shoot, as they say…
Six heats run and done in silky little toy waves at Keramas. a German VAL’s absolute dream scenario.
I only say German, not to be racialist, but to pay homage to my favourite overseas species of VAL. You there, with the booties, over-sized Cymatic and GathHhat. I tips me lid to you.
Chances of running seemed nil but KP said he saw runners on the incoming tide, with a better, more southerly angle. First elimination heat and the wildcard paddled into a zippy close-out for a 0.5 to start the day.
Joe Turpel: “These are the waves KP was talking about.”
After SurfAds piece on the fully muzzled commentary it almost seems the problem is more deeply existential. If Joe said the sky is blue, it’s almost certainly time to hit the storm bunker.
If he says “your gal was so well behaved last night, in fact the whole week long” I’d be packing the suitcase.
Kanoa paddled up the reef with Deivid Silva, a tactic that I am yet to find any advantage for in a three-man heat. Didn’t hurt Igarashi, though, he sizzled on that SharpEye, like he did at J-Bay last year.
He would be the only one from today’s elimination heats to trouble any of the top seeds. Did you see him surf yesterday? A single wave with a heat score of 1.77. All that gesturing and waving of arms.
It was like Marcel Marceau reincarnated as a pro surfer. Very entertainment.
Zeke and Leo paddled up the reef again to start Heat two. Why? What possible strategic outcome, favourable or deleterious could occur as a result? Were they coached to do so?
Zeke caught the first wave. Did a power hack layback that drew the ire of Martin Potter and took an early lead. A traffic jam of fives ensued. Leo Fioravanti with four minutes to go was a miserable last. The surf had that silken texture – that makes a gal blessed to be alive when luxuriating in it – that only Indonesia can provide.
There was much talk of coaching. In the next heat, Luke Egan made the point that one bad decision could cost you, while on another occasion a trio of bad decisions could see you make it through.
But what to learn from it? What lessons could a coach impart?
Philosopher of science Karl Popper famously made the claim that all biological science was a series of exceptions in search of a rule.
How much more so a pro surfing heat?
If every heat is an individual case, every cause unique, then every effect must be equally unrepeatable and unknowable.
You get my drift?
To prove the point Leo savaged a waist-high righthander for the best score of the heat. Results went into a blender and last went to first, first to last.
What could a coach make of it?
It’s a total crap shoot.
A non-elimination leader board opening round is the only way forwards to sort the wheat from the goats and isolate the variables we want from the ones we don’t. It smacked the WSL in the face at Kelly’s pool and they didn’t even realise.
Heat three came to life with an electrifying flurry of head-high waves ridden.
Soli got one, Seth got one and Ace. Judges awarded them each a point separate from each other. Ace a full point higher for a floater and vertical hit. Seth drained the juice from a peachy little barrel that would have made any out of shape cube monkey glisten with sickly envy. Hey, I could ride that!
Another good one to Ace, Seth consolidated and Soli Bailey was left with a long, lonely wait with ten minutes ticking down. The exact situation Ronnie Blakey had said surfers in this elimination round would be vigorously advocating against.
They would want opportunity, he said. But opportunity did not come.
A scrappy shoulder on the buzzer was not enough to keep Soli away from the solace of a proper Pina Colada.
The last men’s elimination heat fell into a state of somnolence. R-Cal fell and fell in an effort to get the ball rolling. Sebastien Zietz sizzled and got into first place then last place as Jesse Mendes charged from the back field. Another heat where anything could have come out.
It makes the hundreds and thousands of heats that Kelly bent to his will seem even more like a bargain with the devil.
Two women’s heats followed.
The second far superior with Silvana Lima and Courtney Conlogue both looking stronger and sharper than Carissa Moore in the previous heat.
The Indonesian wildcard , Kailani Johnson, was eliminated after stuffing Carissa on a dreamy little peak. Such is life in the crowded line-ups of Bali.
I probably surf like Paige Hareb. Bit stiff, bit off kilter.
Do you surf like someone on Tour?
Is it just me or is the Seeding Round and Elimination Round making comps this year take forever to get “warmed up”?
Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 2 (Elimination Round) Results:
Heat 1: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 14.60 DEF. Deivid Silva (BRA) 10.67, Jacob Willcox (AUS) 10.10
Heat 2: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) 10.90 DEF. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 10.66, Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 10.07
Heat 3: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 14.00 DEF. Seth Moniz (HAW) 12.50, Soli Bailey (AUS) 11.40
Heat 4: Ryan Callinan (AUS) 10.50 DEF. Jesse Mendes (BRA) 8.43, Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 8.40
Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 3 (Round of 32) Matchups:
Heat 1: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA)
Heat 2: Yago Dora (BRA) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
Heat 3: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
Heat 4: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Deivid Silva (BRA)
Heat 5: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)
Heat 6: Willian Cardoso (BRA) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Heat 7: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 8: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
Heat 9: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Heat 10: Seth Moniz (HAW) vs. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
Heat 11: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Kelly Slater (USA)
Heat 12: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Rio Waida (IDN)
Heat 13: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA)
Heat 14: Mikey Wright (AUS) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Heat 15: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Peterson Crisanto (BRA)
Heat 16: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Corona Bali Protected Women’s Round 2 (Elimination Round) Results:
Heat 1: Carissa Moore (HAW) 10.67 DEF. Paige Hareb (NZL) 8.33, Kailani Johnson (IDN) 2.33
Heat 2: Silvana Lima (BRA) 13.53 DEF. Courtney Conlogue (USA) 12.57, Macy Callaghan (AUS) 10.80
Corona Bali Protected Women’s Round 3 (Round of 16) Matchups:
Heat 1: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. Paige Hareb (NZL)
Heat 2: Johanne Defay (FRA) vs. Brisa Hennessy (CRI)
Heat 3: Caroline Marks (USA) vs. Silvana Lima (BRA)
Heat 4: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) vs. Coco Ho (HAW)
Heat 5: Stephanie Gilmore (AUS) vs. Keely Andrew (AUS)
Heat 6: Malia Manuel (HAW) vs. Courtney Conlogue (USA)
Heat 7: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Bronte Macaulay (AUS)
Heat 8: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) vs. Nikki Van Dijk (AUS)
Red Bull Airborne Bali Qualifying Round Matchups:
Heat 1: Noa Deane (AUS), Chippa Wilson (AUS), Jack Freestone (AUS), Eli Hanneman (HAW), Lee Wilson (IDN), Made Darmayasa ‘Blerong’ (IDN)
Heat 2: Ian Crane (USA), Eithan Osborne (USA), Matt Meola (HAW), Mason Ho (HAW), Oliver Kurtz (USA), Eric Geiselman (USA)
Heat 3: Yago Dora (BRA), Filipe Toledo (BRA), Reef Heazlewood (AUS), Finn McGill (HAW), Kalani David (HAW), Bronson Meydi (IDN)
Heat 4: Ian Crane (USA), Filipe Toledo (BRA), Jack Freestone (AUS), Mason Ho (HAW), Kalani David (HAW), Made Darmayasa ‘Blerong’ (IDN)
Heat 5: Noa Deane (AUS), Reef Heazlewood (AUS), Finn McGill (HAW), Eli Hanneman (HAW), Oliver Kurtz (USA), Eric Geiselman (USA)
Heat 6: Yago Dora (BRA), Chippa Wilson (AUS), Eithan Osborne (USA), Matt Meola (HAW), Lee Wilson (IDN), Bronson Meydi (IDN)
Haha, Joe Turpel.
Great write up
Slater does a carving 360 and gets a 4, Ace does a floater n Reo and gets a 7.3 !
My brain hurts.
Nailed it LT. LEADERBOARD scoring WSL!! It’s easy to understand, no stupid priority, if you drop in or snake you get a fucken flogging. Kinda, like snowboarding and skating etc. you can’t time this shit other than throw the fuckers out there for 30 odd minutes, Potz and the old school cronies will have a plotzz but yes leaderboard. 4 man/women 30 minutes x 4 or something.. over the peak of a swell and hey presto best 3 wave total for the swell wins.
Christ.
I surf like Elo minus the stick of destiny. But he ain’t on tour.. I surf like Panda but with no power and less style.
I honestly couldn’t be fucked watching any of it till the quarters start.
Start gambling on the earlier rounds, its the only thing that makes me tune in on the sub-par days.
the comp was so boring that not even the great LT could put lipstick on that pig.
I actually enjoyed it. Fun everyman waves.
I wouldn’t even know how to
It’s almost like emptying your wallet into the hands of a homeless man, its that easy.
So true, always better odds too with the 3 man heats. I was screaming at RCal to stay on his feet yesterday to get my multi through. Makes the average heats more interesting.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I’ll be more than screaming if my multi pulls though…
My nigga
Always hustling
Where do you place your bets?
Sportsbet
Ignominious. You’d hope at least that
was the low point of the comp
Any relation to Hieronymus? What an artist that twisted fuck was.
I’m an Ignoramus.
We all fall and we all fly!
The Socratic Paradox “ I know that I know nothing “ ? The corner stone of the scientific method and revolution .
Was a great song by The Clouds in 1991.
https://youtu.be/rRWSLTNPzGE
Nice album too
Oh those halcyon indie days
I see your “Clouds” and raise you a “Falling Joys”
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
HeRonnymust Bosch just dropped this piece off to Elo at Santa Monica ? Coming from Oklahoma Elo was very impressed with the fools but wasn’t sure what it was they were standing on ?
https://www.google.de/searc…
Paige is a real tryer
She’s pretty good I reckon and tough as an old boot
I’m a bit like Sally, fair dinks.
But can’t surf as well as she does
old boot/wizard’s sleeve
You’re an unlikely champion of the girls Bex. Or maybe you’re not? A riddle wrapped in an onion? Vodka o’clock Obvs.
They look good, they sound good, they feel so, so good, they have a good attitude. Yep I’m right into em.. Unlike the fellas on here who are on the rag 24/7
I’m more of a 23/6 kinda of guy. Its a disservice to be gentle on em.
Sal is just a golden ray of sunshine.
She’s about the only Aussie girl I’d bless with my company.
It’d be like Pretty Woman except you’d have to pay for vocal surgery and then speech therapy and then a thourough de-boganising and you’d still be left with a bar light 6 who surfed better than you..
Are you suggesting you sound like a 4 stroke victa chewing cane toads and wet grass when you vocalise?
I glad you raised this. Her interviews just grate and are unwatchable. Where did she learn to speak?
I dunno cunt but fuk it bugs me ay
aus
I haven’t watched but when you say “it’s a crap shoot”, perhaps you mean: “it’s crap”.
ELo; What’s the point if going to exotic places with fablious waves if you run the contests in dribbly shit you could get anywhere?
Even more ironic is what lies directly in centre of the screen on the horizon, as they grovel away
Can you imagine?
Probably best that’s all we do!
What’s that?
Me ignorant.
Deserts
…Shippies also
Does anyone else find it weird that in the land of Bintang, this event is sponsored by Corona?
i find it weird that people drink corona
Most people drink the lime and endure the corona.
And what happened to Michelob Ultra Pure Gold Brewed With Organic Piss? They pull the plug on their sponsorship?
I realized yesterday that I, in fact, fucking hate the seeding-elimination thing. Just give me a proper round 1 and round 2 — or better still, make round 1 an elimination heat, and get the fucking thing going already. Like, hey, let’s take a niche sport and make it even harder to understand. Apparently, I have feelings about this whole thing.
Also, thanks for writing about the two women’s heats, because I can’t see writing a separate story for two heats. I’m not sure it does anything for audience engagement to have these two orphan heats out here. Idk.
And while we’re at it can we please chop off the bottom half of no-names on tour and run events over 1 or 2 days max?
hell yes. how about, half the heats/surfers, but add 10 minutes to each heat? better quality surfing, less chance of not getting a backup. market the events as premium and push the qs for anyone who can and wants to watch for days.
That wouldn’t be bad either! I guess I don’t mind the length of events or the numbers, but the format just feels completely incoherent to me this year. That seems especially true on the women’s side with the smaller field.
Cramps? Me too but it’s permanent.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Ha ha ha, nah, wrong time of the month, man
I fuckin hate it too. Who can we blame for the heat structure this year? Chas? Fuck that guy!
Blame Chas for everything, really!