"She treats me like a servant and she’s the mistress!"
I’ll tell you one thing that makes me happy about the “ride anything” movement currently hurtling our world toward the surf apocalypse, maybe the only thing. This story right here about a seventy-year-old man “surfing” his Cadillac down the highway in Florida. Before the age of SUPs, SUP foils, dog longboards etc. a story about “surfing” a Cadillac would have been inappropriate for a surf website to cover.
Today it is par for the course, if you’ll forgive the mixed metaphor, and let’s get straight to it without delay. Let’s not waste anymore time even thinking about SUP foils.
State troopers recently arrested a Florida man who was caught trying to live out his Titanic movie fantasies and make his heart go on atop a moving vehicle. Local news affiliates report that authorities arrested Leonard Olsen, 70, after an off-duty deputy for the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department caught him on video, attempting to “surf” his Cadillac while traveling on the highway with cruise control enabled.
The deputy first noticed Olsen’s Cadillac doing more than 100 miles per hour when it abruptly slowed down to just 40 mph. Then, Olsen supposedly opened the sunroof and propped himself up on top of his moving car while traveling on Interstate 4 in the westbound lane. This prompted the officer to begin recording video on his smartphone.
Following the event, the deputy called in for on-duty reinforcements, to which Florida Highway Patrol responded. Olsen was pulled over just a few minutes later at the intersection of US-98 and Wedgewood Estates Boulevard.
“I thought it would be a nice way to praise God for a minute, and I thought it would be nice at the time and that’s what I did,” Olsen supposedly said in his testimony, according to the Florida Highway Patrol’s arrest report.
When Olsen was apprehended, he was quoted saying that he’d rather go to jail than go back to his home.
“My wife treats me like a servant and she’s the mistress,” Olsen continued. “Lock me up, I’d rather go to jail than go back home.”
Note perfect, no? From the Titanic fantasies to the “wife treats me like a servant and she’s the mistress…” it doesn’t miss a beat.
But quickly, would you rather go to jail for a month or be forced to ride a SUP foil for the rest of your life?
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SUP foils. Thought about them for too long. Angry now.
Could theoretically he then get Caddie Shacked ? Or is my argument hollow ….or not hollow enough ?
This story could have been 1000x better if an alligator or shark was somehow involved
Some friendly advice
Is grow some fucking balls Len
And leave the old cow
Either way your going to be getting some dick.
The most grotesque part of this whole thing is the portrait video.
I have a Google alert set for “Florida man” and it does not disappoint. Daily chuckles.
Boomers are the worst!
only if you are driving
And want to buy property
weak sauce. should have been standing on top of the roof, not on the driver’s seat.
dude, he was hanging 10 on a log. fo sure!.. what other surfer holds that stance..
Stiv Bators was the best car surfer https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Punk or Poo Stance ?
Definitely a better front man than surfer, possibly the first car VAL?
STIV as in Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) and Viruses (STV)? Definitely no compromise but the occasional regret
I am guessing both very applicable here!
brazzos dominating yet another surfing niche, what surprise… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I think Gabe medina said about his step father “he treats me like a servant and he’s the mistress”
Pretty extreme.
He could have just sat at 1′ Pines with a 4/3 on his mal with all the others husbands that left at dark.
I have often thought nagging wives were why people played golf or went for bike rides in large lycra clad groups. “its fun” is not really a believable justification.
True. I don’t know what it is.
They get the Lycra on and that somehow turns a normal person into an ignorant fuckwit that thinks they own the roads.
Fucken chronic round my way. The ebikes piloted by 70 and 80 year olds are unbelievable, out of control.
I could gladly run them down …. but – yea not going to happen as much as I like to fantasise about it.
I ride a bike daily to and from work. I wear cheap-ass Lycra-effect clothing on occasion.
What boggles my brain is the lack of cyclists using lights/ helmet.
What annoys me is when some of them pass me and don’t even acknowledge your presence. I shout “GOOD MORNING / EVENING!” at their backs.
Ignorant, arrogant fucks.
What’s wrong with a bit of common courtesy to one’s fellow cyclist?
“ I’m as mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore “ ! Nothing irks me more than impolite bike riders trying to run over me , pushing the pram , and the two under 5s . We are counting on you CB !
https://youtu.be/rGIY5Vyj4YM
Not entirely sure what you’re counting on me for except to rage irrationally at strangers for minor discrepancies that most people wouldn’t even notice.
It’s a start .
Guy’s gotta have a hobby.
It’s a dirty world.
Man.. this story has it all. A wife that’s a mistress, a 70 year old off duty sheriff, Florida, the cop filming while driving. This is truly MAGA if I’ve ever seen it. That or the slayer dude waving old glory in the face of a weather onslaught.
Also, to answer the question, Jail man. Fuck all this SUP/Foil ride anything garbage.
I reckon dat boy took way too much ice and thought he was that lieutenant Dan from Forrest Gump ?
This is what happens when people take that awful Jeep commercial to heart. I surf the Florida man.
I poke aerials in the legal system!
From memory , there was a character in CANNERY ROW , a friend of Mack and the boys , who did the same thing on the Californian coast a long time ago ?
You son of a bitch
what about the person driving and using their cell phone, isnt that reckless as well ?
It is especially if they only got , one arm ….
Florida Man strikes again! Let’s be honest though, this is pretty tame compared to a lot of the stories typically coming out of that place.
Oh , I thought Kelly had won another heat ? Wrong web site , thought I was at the WSL …sorry AB . I would like to blame witchcraft and that genie in a bottle who has been causing trouble on the space coast before even Slater was a boy ?
https://youtu.be/P9L4NVc4HJo
Epic tube stance (“Christ tube!”)! Titanic fantasies? Yeah, right. He was really paying homage to hardcore ’90s surf epic, Surf Ninjas. I bet before the incident the guy was enjoying watching the movie until his wife, being the killjoy she allegedly is, forced him to turn it off…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
that explains where Laird got the idea for supping.