“Joe Rogan and Laird Hamilton are little wimpy sissies!”
Derek Rielly has been on such a BeachGrit heater lately that last night I felt very bad. He’s posted story after story after story all while being shuttled around Australia giving interviews in the wake of the iconic Bob Hawke’s passing.
As you well know, Derek wrote the definitive biography of the beloved figure in his inimitable style. It is a gorgeous book. Profound, moving, original and illuminating. I have no doubt that it will win every important Australian award this year which made me feel even worse.
Derek is a literary juggernaut, a lion, and still posting story after story while I sit home, henpecking an indecipherable book about the Global War on Terror and failing you.
In order to rectify, I hurriedly googled “surf” then clicked “news” to find something.
Anything.
And there sat Laird Hamilton across from Joe Rogan.
“Perfection!” I thought, poured myself yet another vodka soda and clicked play, ready to do the hard yards for you. For us. For Derek.
I hated every second and turned it off after 20 minutes.
I understand the concept of eating healthy and working out. What I don’t understand is talking about eating healthy and working out. Or, worse still, listening to someone else talk about eating healthy and working out.
For two plus hours.
In any case, Laird n Joe started talking about saunas near my capacity and how 225 degrees Fahrenheit is, like, crazy hot and difficult to handle.
“Sissies!” I thought. “Joe Rogan and Laird Hamilton are little wimpy sissies!”
Now, I’ve never had occasion to think this before but I could out sauna those two in my sleep. I’ve spent a good third of my life in the world’s largest sauna (the Middle East) and could sauna those two under the table with one arm tied behind my back.
I somehow need to make this happen. It could be for charity and maybe I’ll reach out to my pal Erik “ELo” Logan, the World Surf League’s President of Content, Media, Third Party Licensing Rights, Etc. for Laird’s contact info. Maybe it should be a WSL sanctioned sauna-off.
Speaking of ELo, I met with David Lee Scales at the Surf Heritage and Culture Center and we spoke of the Shellacking in Santa Monica, David Lee’s ripping, surfing with your partner and many other important things. Then David Lee’s computer died and the whole thing got erased so we started over and did it again.
It is our best show yet two times over!
Yup,
Full rubber chicken and olive oil.
(disclosure: I have no idea what that means but it sounds good)
If you’re interested in pushing your body to its limits, you have to focus on how to treat and fuel it, especially as we get older. Chas did have a good point in his podcast: Chas said Laird lives in a different world bc he doesn’t have to grind 9-5. Sooo true. I left my office job 9 months ago with the goal of fixing my back, shoulder, ankle, immune system, and diet. I’m almost there but it’s been a lot of hard work, and there’s no way I could have done it while working/stress/etc. So, Chas, you’re right, its a totally different world when you’re not working and you’re only focus is on performance/health.
Why so deflated? You guys just had a dress rehearsal before you did the real show. Happens all the time. As to Sacles’ surf pics – yes posting is douchie if you’re a normal guy – but as a podcast host, posting your surfing photos/videos enhances our experience as listeners. YOUR TuRN , CHAS!
Don’t knock ferret sashimi till you’ve tried it.
What did I https://uploads.disquscdn.c… miss?
joe rogan seems like he blows guys
You guys should do-over every time. The quality was high and Scales brought the funny
Leslie Hamilton still has me laughing!
Did you know Leslie Hamilton is Linda Hamilton’s (Sarah Conner) twin sister? If it wasn’t for this joke, I wouldn’t have googled and found out the world contains a second genetic copy of my middle school crush. Mind blown.
Geez Ben… first day back and boom, two accounts repeating the same lines.
You know Negs…
I wuz just thinkings:
Apropos of nothing particular.
I just want to say that I really love the community here.
Really and truly, you all have given me back a semblance of sanity that I cannot find anywhere else in my sad little life.
I love you all, even the ones I disagree vehemently over politics.
Thank you.
To be fair, I think even Bem wants that, but he’s like an abused dog who can’t help but bore people. Poor Bem. If he’d just stop shitting on the couch, then we could let him sit by the fire.
Nice to hear CB..
Hey, I think Bem adds a lot to this forum. But he needs to loosen up that tie.
Discussion and debate over just arguing.
That and those same stories over and over…
Oh Twills, this is good. Have you seen how hard Owen Benjamin goes on ole Joe?
Preserving surf history is vital!
That’s why Ke11y owns the rights to the book “Thai Sticks”.
Hi Ben
No one outside Southern California knows what the SHACC is. I don think the viewers want more content. We just want top quality content. I honestly have minimal interest on what 99% of guys on tour are doing outside the event and what the ones I have interest in post on social media.
What I want is every heat to be in world class waves with the top 20 surfers in the world.
Stuff the universe, fix the sun and the rest of the universe will thrive naturally.
I’d also rather see the WSL invest more into grassroots and the future generations of surfers and then maybe deliver content on who the next guys out of each country are coming through the ranks.
Invest in the future not the past.
Tell me you wouldn’t be thankful for an iconic surf film on the next lay day.
I Don’t think I would, I’m not chasing more content. Most weekends of the year there is sport I watch also, so I’m kinda sported out. I just wanna see good waves and no lay days.
I do agree with what you said though Chas they should purchase SHACC and Warshaws content and the surf movie library, but I personally wouldn’t be interested in viewing it.
Nah, I kinda agree with chas. Tour notes style content paired with contest/location lore to hold us over between events/hype the next spot could be pretty engaging.
Looks like Kelly has taken over as contest director.
Not many coming through sadly
http://balibelly.com/keramas/
What about Drake?
he plays better perimeter defense than Trae Young… granted this is a low bar
Burning the white kids money in his sauna
In the words of the great and wise Partypete; “I’ll listen to it later.”
Such wisdom dear friends, is truly rare and should be treasured.
Where art thou St Pete?
It is not indecipherable! Is not!
Seems like Chas has had a moment as such. Welcome to the corporate world – offering solutions instead of just attributing blame and moaning. Plus trying to sell you and your friends content offerings. You really have stepped it up. Congrats – very refreshing. Although I still hope you poke the bear occasionally.
Some of your ideas are great. Especially the inclusion of Warshaw’s endless knowledge and some form of programming in and around the comps that is not the WSL. Although one would think they would be unwilling to let this out of their hands….Imagine a Matty Johns type show – give the competitors grief and add some colour / entertainment. More current affairs than the news.
Much to my own damn chagrin I really really really love surfing and want to contribute, somehow in some way, even though I’m completely unworthy.
But do you really love surfing, or romance the idea of surfing??
Is SaunaLife a hashtag yet?
People either preach about doing really hot things or really cold things. Because if I started a flog blog about going round keeping a really comfortable temperature and claiming how good it was for you…well I’ll just watch the money roll in right?
Cardigan Lyfe
Gangsta mild.
So practical, cold, put on cardin, too warm for cardi, undo buttons. Fucking genius.
I reckon if you put Laird in a sauna for too long he’d emerge looking like a stocky Layne Beachley