"Sit outside with the long boarders and catch more waves than ever before!"
I’m not one for nostalgia, no not at all, and generally concur with psychologists of old who classified it as a mental disorder. Time moves along, things change, no epoch was ever better than another or else Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris was written, produced and directed in vain. As you well know, Midnight in Paris showcased star turns for Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Adrien Brody, Marion Cotillard and Carla Bruni, who also happens to have the voice of an angel, and was not written, produced and directed in vain.
Which brings us around to Surfer magazine, the most important and historic voice in surf media. Matt Warshaw once edited the proud title which featured some of the best writers and editors to ever do it. Names like John Severson, Drew Kampion, Steve Pezman, Paul Holmes, Evan Slater and Sam George. For many years it set the tone of our conversation and still does, to a certain extent, which makes me wonder if electric surfboards are an exciting new opportunity.
For just yesterday the Bible of the Sport officially attached its name to Jetson, “…a surfboard that includes a miniature jet which gives you a boost at the most important moments: paddling momentum to take off on your wave. It is a surfboard that will allow you to catch more waves to make the most of your surfing experience.”
Jetson offers the 8′ Wahoo funboard quad ($4895.00) “Our 8’0” will be your go to board for those who want to ride a fun shape without loosing the paddling speed of a long board. Sit outside with the long boarders and catch more waves than ever before.”
The 9′ Grouper longboard quad ($5295.00). “Our 9’0″ will increase your wave count even when the crowds are heavy or the current is brutal. You will power into position and catch waves with ease and leave the crowd behind.”
And a 10’2 rescue paddle board ($6195.00). See Nick Carroll for details.
So tell me, are you excited about this new development? All this catching everyone else’s waves etc.? Did you hop on the last technological wave, excuse the pun, when Garrett McNamara showed us the great possibilities of the WaveJet in 2011? Would you like to make more of your surfing experience? The most even?
More importantly, will we even be able to discern VALs in the lineup anymore as they “paddle” into waves so far out on the horizon as to exhibit a Kai Lenny-esque ability to read the ocean?
Don’t let the VAL take your sea lumps. Buy here with no shame. It’s Surfer magazine approved!
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Nothing new. Did everyone forget about G Mac trying to slang Moto boards ten years ago? Thing tried to fucking kill him at Jaws.
‘Murfer’ makes me think of ‘Mother Lover’ every time.
Backwards exclusive!
I can get down with that version of E transport. Still, personally, I’d sooner fully pedal. I sound like a luddite now. But, these entitled pricks on the trails really do make me caveman angry.
Fuck this. If surfing wasn’t already bad enough.
I hate it
First paragraph is perfunctory. Second Paragraph is robotic. Self deprecating humor would require it to be about you. You do know this?
skulk? come on man.
Are you admitting your site is “another cardboard box in the alley?”
bad for sales amigo
There are so many topics to discuss. This site focused on gossip, click baits, etc… peppered by Long Toms cred.
This model treats the surfer as someone who won’t read, just react. Short burst oil to a flame. Which is always the miscalculation about surfers. Many of us think.
If you’re selling to a small niche market, why insult them with cliches? What will the WSL do when they realize we are their only audience? How can this same mistake play out over and over?
Look, they’re dusting off the editorial with fake shock while greasing the wheel for the transition to a new boss…. unlikely as it seems.
Funny thing is, previous incarnations of this blog were way more relevant, these guys just found a way to monetize it or the time was finally right.
But notice one thing, they followed the same script just from a different angle.
The co op thing is real… we discussed it ten years ago.
FCS III of course
You can retrofit your old bike for about $800-$1,000. Heaps of options floating around. Probably need to upgrade your brakes though. There are some great sites around with all the gear or it. Ebay has heaps – maybe try trademe
Forget the board, what about the homage to Surfer?!?
Oh the distraction technique, but there it is again, another swing of a premise that the old guard was the way…. except to deviate by saying Chas doesn’t feel nostalgic…. hmmm…. So contradictory, so coincidental.
Just days after the George Bros. flamed out on his blog. Matt got a CS thumbs up, now Sam gets a second gesture and all legit because Matty W’s fruit fell off the same tree….. ? And suddenly, Chas is reverent about the past he cares not to remember????
And how does Surfer’s “voice” even heard in 2019? Talk about bygone relics in poor regard.
The dots connect too easily, but criss cross over Chas’ meandering underlying narrative, days in progress. Why now? Why this?
One of two things boys…. Chas is selling BG to that Colorado based action sports network or he’s selling BG to some other dinasour that wants in on the new action and can’t create a seat of it’s own. ?
There’s lots of tangents and side conversations your post could generate..especially what Surfer mag meant to a 12 year old that was obsessed with wave riding on whatever floated and I could catch a wave on.
Rental mats..loose boards that would wash in..my dad would help me corral them and push me into waves while the owner of the board was swimming in.
I’m an old fuck, but I gotta believe my generation was the first to draw
dream waves on our school folders and our teachers having no idea what we were going on about.
Surfer and especially all the surf movies you could see at high school autatouriums or fucking public libraries.
For better or worse I guess
Surfer mag is going broke, it’s more or less an advertorial these days. Which is a damn shame.
I am a subscriber and have been reading it since the early 80s. Part of the problem is terrible editorship, complete with vain signature at the bottom of the editor’s page. All they have to do is stop competing with the internet surf mags (like this one), as they can never beat them on quantity of content. What they can do is beat them on quality. After all, Surfer has contacts with everyone. Beach grit (for example) only has access to three people in the industry. This is what TSJ, Surfing World, and the soon to be resurrected Surfers Path do well. I hope they get their shit together quickly.
welcome.to.hell.
These are just ridiculous, like a golfer using a motorised cart. Imagine how fucked in the head you would have to be to combine the two.
This is true. Big corporates are creating their own in house media teams filled with ex journos earning double what they did in a newsroom. Everything is Sponsored, branded content. Nothing is independent. Welcome to the future.
Sounds terrible! Basically a short cut to snaking line up. Price tag may make them rare-ish. Hydros and Sups were bad enough…still fun to try one on a few waves I guess
Well I sure hope we aren’t judged by the advertiser company we keep.
Yeah, we like things black and white here in NZ eh. (excuse the puns).