Kelly Slater: “I like the option where everyone stops paying taxes!”

Current World number 7 foments revolution!

Did you take the eleven time champion, wave pool technology co-creator and current world number seven Robert Kelly Slater as an incendiary revolutionary? A burn-it-all-to-the-ground idealist? A man willing to push the masses into an uprising that tilts the very balance of power?

I didn’t.

And if I’m quite honest, I always considered Kelly a stone-cold, bald-faced, opportunist. A man who sees the angles, smells the blood, knows how to position himself exactly like he knows how to position himself at tricky-to-read maxing Pipeline and come out victorious.

Robert Kelly Slater is a student, an expert, but only an expert at surfing, or so I’ve always thought.

I’m indifferent to Outerknown but don’t see the real economic play in an ecological, high price-point surf brand. I had a case of Purps in my garage when we launched BeachGrit some four years ago and drank one while gagging. K-grip was never good (buy Octopus here!) and Kelly Slater surfboards are… I can’t say.

I’ve never actually surfed one.

Are they good? Epic? I don’t doubt but also don’t know.

More importantly, I’m writing a book on Islamic fundamentalism right now and ooooooooee. Rough. Fundamentalism is not what you’d call a “marketable literary enterprise” but to hell with those, right?

Right?

To hell with anything not directly tied to the machine.

Right?

Maybe not.

For Robert Kelly Slater, the man I considered immune to absurd heart tugs, is calling for revolution on Joe Rogan’s Instagram page. A tax-free revolution contra the popular notion that we should all storm Area 51, a U.S. military installation in the Nevada desert.

I honestly don’t know what any of this about but do like the “option where everyone stops paying taxes.”

What do you think?

Are you in?

Will you follow the world’s most successful living surfer to jail as a form of popular rebellion?

More as the story develops!

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f u

I think I would ask to get payed in a different country

Herbo

All in Satoshi Nakamoto $$$

Shamus Beaglehole

whats wrong with paying taxes? the issue to me is how the money is spent.

Shamus Beaglehole

interesting. how do you stop paying taxes? they are deducted automatically from the paycheck.

Padre Fan81

Unless you write pauchecks. Good thing I pointed that out before you become the next overly-confident ignorant spokesman.

John Melba

The way Kelly is paid through business and sponsorships etc
He wouldn’t be on a pay as
You go type deal…but yeh the IRS don’t fuck around…and for all the waste governments do a lot of useful stuff too

Pyzel's Ghost

Be interesting to know how Slater votes…#MAGA

and “Islamic Fundamentalism”? Really? Wtf do you actually know about it?

Murky Ball

Hey Snark-Lords, fancy ditching those shitty ‘adspark’ ads? They make my phone freeze and then crash. Upon relaunch all is well but those thirty seconds of inconvenience place a considerable burden on my 21st century attention span…

Murky Ball

… enough to send me elsewhere even when Kelly Slater has said whatever about something.

John Non John

Kelly Slater is most likely a giant douchebag, but I very much enjoy watching him surf.

Padre Fan81

He’s not half as unbelievable as his friends in the surf industry/media make him out to be. All he did was study Curren. Allabout smooth turns, no bobbling. Most of the Taylor Steele Clones rip off Curren: Machado, Slater, Curran, Keith Malloy

f u

Rich people hate paying taxes more than most

Freddie

Tell us more about your Islamic fundamentalism project

DrunkenAngel

kelly has never used public infrastructure riiiiiggggghhhhht fuck he is beyond human dumb. he is single cell dumb. fuck i would love to interview him and fry him up.

DrunkenAngel

i like it! go fund u

DrunkenAngel

islamic fundamentalism? i am more worried about white man christian fundamentalism … they fucking scary af

Shamus Beaglehole

really. how about some facts to back that up? scripture to support?

DrunkenAngel

oh i dont know. MAYBE LIKE ENDLESS COLONIALISM, DROPPING BOMBS ON SOCIETIES, TERROR ATTACKS, LYNCHINGS, CONCENTRATIONS CAMPS, HOMOPHOBIC ATTACKS, DOMESTIC VUOLENCE, SLAVERY, GENOCIDE… as for scriptures

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

“Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel.” (1 Peter 2:18)

“Wat the Lord Almighty says… ‘Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’” (1 Samuel 15:3)

Audit In Progress

Luv U Drunky

Padre Fan81

They sure fucked up Hawaii. Nice boats Cannibals!! Don’t hang yourself!! Haha

turts

Wasn’t that all bullshit? Asking seriously. Because the biggest flaw with the story (apart from the absurd distances and shit quality boats. Not to mention the average IQ of crayfisherman) was Crays we’re worth fuck all at that time.

Return of the Samsung Board

“Current World Number 7”

Hehe

Otto

It’s not Kelly’s fault he thinks this way. He’s from fucking Florida where there is no state income tax. Born benighted.

King Clovis

Breaking news, a guy who famously is a miser is resistant to paying taxes.

Pyzel's Ghost

and most likely a shitty tipper to boot

mine.mine.mine

i think he was sarcastic.. as in “see how that goes” atleast that is my take.

turts

Didn’t work out to well for Sunny, or half my mates in the Crayfishing industry.

Padre Fan81

Or maybe bit didn’t work out because Sunny is actually descended from cannibals. No exxageration.

Chief Hot stuff

Your taxes buy things you need
Like guys to keep crackheads off your zinc coutertops
And central Americans off your lawn
I think Kelly and Chas have that brain eating grub in their cabecas

Chas Smith

What can I say? I’m a libertarian!

Mads Naeraa

There’s a cure for that, Chas.

Chas Smith

Facebook?

Chief Hot stuff

People still go to library’s?

DrunkenAngel

libertarians are kept children. hence why they can be libertarian.a privilege based on the hard graft the front line people doing the hard graft in the world.

Old Kook

Central Americans off your lawn? There is a joke in there somewhere.

Lemon Next to the Pie

And coalmines. And Gina RIneharts. Don’t forget they buy coalmines and Gina Rineharts..

Chief Hot stuff

Exactly!

Dogsnuts

Storm Lemoore or too obvious? Lemoore raid that fucking thing. Mid final.

Lemoore Surfing Club

Gotta get past Raimana first.

Dogsnuts

Mate I’ll shit on the hood of his ski.

Mads Naeraa

Few things bore/annoy/revolt me more than multimillionaires complaining about paying tax.

frank

Me too, Jonathan Winters sums up my thoughts on this subject pretty well:
https://m.youtube.com/watch…

Preston

Problem is it’s the nouveau riche that bitch. Buffet, Gates, and the real big dogs are begging to be taxed more.

Kama'aina

If they really cared they would just give more. Taxes are generally miss spent or over spent for the things we need. Those super richies could band together and fund solutions for most of the issues if they really cared. But they don’t. And they won’t.

Preston

Um, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is the largest in the world and is pegged currently at $50 Billion. That’s a b for billion. More?

Bragu Moy

I urge you to listen to the Citations Needed podcast about Gates etc bullshit

Christian S. Molnar

Listening now. Thanks for posting this.

Bragu Moy

👍

Padre Fan81

Hey you kooks need to get off the famous rich people. It’s the non-famous rich people who were publicy #1 in the 1800s. In the early 1900s corporations came about. Now the Corporation can own the jets, the boats, and the land while no one has to be labeled a super rich asshole. Meanwhile have the media (which they own) prop up some rags to riches story like Bill (college dropout) Gates or Warren (humble, safe Christian) Buffet get rich and teach us how. Half the reason Gates and Buffet give away so much is because they are stuck without a heritage. No heritage = no Royal Friends.

Kama'aina

Are you saying these crazy rich don’t have enough to give more? I believe that they can and in a way that problems are solved.

Pyzel's Ghost

Do you have ANY clue as to how much Buffet just GIVES away annually?

Bragu Moy

Must be why they avoid tax worldwide by using tax havens …


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