Kelly who?
Kelly who?

Merry Christmas: “Bonafide phenomenon” Surfing Santas threaten to overtake Kelly Slater as Cocoa Beach, Florida’s most successful export!


And the biggest, warmest most heartfelt Merry Christmas to you and all of your loved ones. I hope you are sitting around the tree, Handel playing softly in the background either sipping on a hot cup of coffee or cold mimosa, depending on your family tradition and/or latent alcoholism. I hope you gave meaningful gifts and received some in return.

Kelly Slater, I imagine, is in Hawaii, on the North Shore, maybe surfing. Maybe thinking about surfing and I don’t want to cause him any undo stress but… I wonder if he should be in his hometown Cocoa Beach, Florida maybe shoring up his base.

Oh the 47-year-old gave us so many thrills this year, so much joy, just missing the U.S. Men’s Olympic Surf Team by a few heats. I still believe he can make it but if he doesn’t, many mainstream news cycles could pass with him unwillingly absent. What is worse, it appears that the “Surfing Santas” are primed to overtake the GOAT as Cocoa Beach’s most indelible offering.

Do you not believe?

Let’s read the pure joy emanating from all newspapers and websites today but mostly from Florida Today.

When surfer George Trosset paddled out in the big red suit in 2009, he just wanted a goofy picture with his family.

Now, 10 years after a FLORIDA TODAY photographer first snapped Trosset on the waves, dressed as Santa and flanked by his son and daughter-in-law in matching elf costumes, Cocoa Beach’s annual Surfing Santas event has become a bonafide phenomenon.

“I had no idea it would turn into this,” Trosset said, gesturing toward the buzzing crowd. “What I like to say is, Surfing Santas has become what it needs to be.”

Bigger than Kelly Slater, I suppose.

Bah humbug.

Travis Rice. Big Wave World Tour.
Travis Rice. Big Wave World Tour.

Watch: Curt Morgan and Travis Rice’s Dark Matter; the greatest surf, skate, snow, extreme sport video ever made!

Absolute inspiration.

Oh we’ve had a lot of them in our surf, skate, snow, extreme sport lifetime. Films, videos, clips are our lifeblood, our inspiration, our pre-session hype and post-session entertainment. The Endless Summer, Yeah Right!, That’s It That’s All, The Art of Flight.

Curt Morgan and Travis Rice, maker of the last two, are an artistic duo that may only truly be appreciated in decades. So far ahead of the curve. So far ahead of our time. Their relationship is as Paul and John, Jimmy and Robert, any truly destined married couple and their new film, coming on the heels of a break-up, is nothing short of tension-filled genius.

Dangerous, wild, unhinged, dark.

The greatest surf, skate, snow, extreme sport video every made.

I had the mind-blowing experience of watching it pre-release just the other night and my jaw has been on the floor since.

It’s everything we believe in. Everything we love and yes, in the snow, but what is snow but frozen water?

But still life waves?

Available today here or anywhere.

Watch with volume all the way up.

Go surfing.

Many surf journalists (pictured) smiling.
Many surf journalists (pictured) smiling.

Introducing: The First* Annual Surf Website “About Us” Holiday Battle Royale presented by OuterKnown!

This time it's serious.

The holiday season is about so many wonderful things. Family, thankfulness, a giving spirit, delicious foods, being together, peace on earth etc. but it is mostly about sport. About winners and losers and sport and I’ll admit I was depressed in the days just after Italo Ferreira’s stirring win at the Pipe Masters for it officially ended the sporting portion of our favorite game. For professional surf fans, bleak winter begins early and doesn’t end until the sun comes up on Snapper Rocks this coming spring.


But, as I was wallowing in the depths of despair, clicking across various surf and surf-adjacent media to see how others were coping, I had a powerful idea. What if we hosted a battle royale pitting different website’s “About Us” sections against each other in the sort of heat format we’re all used to and miss so much?

Oh, you know the About Us, the place on a website usually written prior to launch then left as a monument to big dreams and/or marketing-speak.

But About Who is best? About Who do you really and truly fall in love with?

There is only one way to determine.

Let’s get ready to rumble!

Heat 1 The Inertia vs. Stab

The Inertia is the new voice of surf, mountain, and outdoor culture. With a community of 2,000+ contributors, including icons as well as up-and-comers, we offer unique, energizing perspectives on all things related to the space through news, opinions, photos, videos, and art from the community’s most talented individuals. Founded in 2010, The Inertia reaches 1.5 million+ readers monthly and aims to make sustainable impacts on the world via partnerships with leading charitable organizations.


Surfing ain’t long-hairs and doobie-suckers no more. Surfing is suited-and-booted stockbrokers. It’s university students who’ve smelt the roses and don’t swallow the evening news. It’s just-18-year-olds whose trunks end above the knee. Surfing is beavertails and logs and empowered women who ain’t adverse to a Brazilian cut, but it’s also 540s and double oops. Right now, surfing is goddamn hot and, most of all, inspired.

And Stab is inspired by it. In short, what’s this whole show about?

Big ideas and the endeavour to execute ‘em. Sometimes they don’t come off, but it’s better than wondering. Stab may be put together by a bunch of narcissistic and morally corrupt humans, but goddamn it, if we ain’t the most obsessive collective you ever did see… …while you were sleeping, our eyes stayed open.

Heat 2 Surfline vs. WSL

Our culture is founded on five core values that we treat as guiding lights in all that we do. They are: Bring Your Passion, Be Humble, Keep It Personal, Set Your Line, and Push Our Limits. These values are foundational to fulfilling our purpose for making ocean enthusiasts’ lives better.


The World Surf League organizes the annual tour of professional surf competitions and broadcasts each event live at where you can experience the athleticism, drama and adventure of competitive surfing — anywhere and anytime it’s on.

Travel alongside the world’s best male and female surfers to the most remote and exotic locations in the world. Fully immerse yourself in the sport of surfing with live event broadcasts, social updates, event highlights and commentary on desktop and mobile.

Heat 3 Surfer vs. The Surfer’s Journal

In 1960, SURFER Magazine began as the original, and with our long history of delivering on the promise we began with, SURFER has earned its moniker as The Bible of the Sport. That promise, quite simply, was to offer you a slice of the entire surfing world with each issue, through an array of provocative and insightful editorial features, revealing interviews, and most of all, our award winning state-of-the-art photography.


As a reader-supported surf publication, The Surfer’s Journal is a truly unique periodical. It’s an independent take on the surfing experience with just six sponsors, making each 132-page issue almost entirely editorial. We delve into topics that get little attention elsewhere, covering travel adventures, surfboard design, profiles of surfing’s most colorful subjects, and the choicest surf photography in every issue. Coupled with the premium construction, The Surfer’s Journal is a product that is peerless in its quality and content.

Heat 4 Tracks vs. CoastalWatch

Tracks is the brand which blazes a trail into surfing’s future without forgetting to occasionally look in the rear vision mirror.

Relentlessly creative and restlessly innovative, Tracks will always strive to make you see surfing and surf culture in new and engaging ways.

Our design style is progressive with a strong focus on emphasizing the unique elements of every story and subject matter. Meanwhile, Tracks editorial strives to be entertaining in a rip your head off kind of way.

It is Tracks who ordains surfing’s heroes, brings colourful characters to life and captures the essence of what it is to be a surfer in the modern world. We boast the most dynamic contributor list of any Australian surfing magazine and our motto is “Boredom is The Enemy.”


Since its inception in 1998, Coastalwatch has been committed to bringing the coast to you. With live camera vision, forecasts and news and features from around the country’s coast, it’s grown into the Australia’s most comprehensive coastal reference site.

Using our camera network and working with some of the country’s pre-eminent coastal scientists our monitoring arm, CoastalCOMS, provides vital real-time data on beach erosion, risk and surf quality for councils and governments, lifeguards and rescue services.

Decide the winner of each heat below…

And Merry Christmas to all!


Send nudes.
Send nudes.

Nightmare before Christmas: “Massive” Great White shark jumps on boat near famous Australian surf break to eat three succulent men then bites hull out of spite!

Bah humbug!

I wish I was bringing you good tidings of great joy this Christmas Eve (in Australia) Christmas Eve Eve (in America). I wish I was celebrating a white Christmas but all I have are sharks. Great White sharks.

Please don’t blame me for it’s not my fault. I didn’t try to jump on a small fishing boat near famous surf break Snapper Rocks in order to eat three succulent men and then, when failing, bite the hull out of pure spite.

I am only here in very cold, very rainy southern California fearing for the lives of all Australian surfers but would you like more details? Would you like your nightmare before Christmas? It is wrapped in the pages of once proud Newsweek and let’s go there together.

Three men fishing off the coast of New South Wales had a narrow escape with a shark which tried to leap aboard their vessel.

The trio from Appin Mine were several miles off Shellharbour last Friday, when a 15-feet-long great white shark tried to clamber aboard.

One of the crew, Jason Dunn, said that the fish suddenly appeared after his crew mate had dropped his fishing line off the back of the vessel.

“It came out of nowhere—he had to sprint to the front of the boat,” Dunn told the Illawarra Mercury.

“It then slid back into the water, and we could feel it go under the boat, we could feel it bumping it.

“Then it came round to the driver’s side where I was and started pushing it sideways and then took a bite out of the boat.

“You can see the serrated teeth marks where it’s been gouged,” Dunn said.

And look, look at the gouged hull and the bent railing where the great Great White flopped aggressively, heedless of our modern cultural climate where unwanted advances are very much frowned upon.

Again, I’m sorry but have you ever even conceived of something so… rude?

So… scroogy?

On Christmas Eve or Eve Eve?

Me neither.

No Christmas surfing in New South Wales this year.

Or next.

More as the story develops.

Pat O’Connell revealed as King Solomon over injury-wildcard decision; Leo, Mikey both join 2020 tour!

A three-event surf-off between Leonardo Fioravanti and Mikey Wright!

In a decision so sage and so wonderful it could be registered in an updated version of the Hebrew Bible, the WSL’s SVP, Tours & Head of Competition, Pat O’Connell, has ordered one of the two injury wildcards to be split between the Australian Mikey Wright and the Italian Leonardo Fioravanti.

The announcement from nineties superstar Pat, the former world #11 who has wrinkles on his face like cat whiskers and who once told Surfer he wanted to be friends with everybody on tour, reads,

“We have a unique situation with the WSL men’s wildcards for the 2020 season. After reviewing our criteria, as well as the independent medical board assessments, we believe both Leonardo Fioravanti and Mikey Wright have equitable cases for the second 2020 wildcard. After working with our event partners and speaking to both surfers, we have arranged for both Leo and Mikey to compete in the first three CT events of 2020 – Gold Coast, Bells Beach, and Margaret River. The surfer who finishes highest on the rankings across that opening Australian leg will receive the second WSL wildcard for the remainder of the 2020 season.”

The first wildcard, of course, goes to the Brazilian Adriano de Souza, surfing’s forgotten 2015 world champ and Brazil’s first Pipeline Master, whose title was allowed to marinate for roughly a dozen hours before Kelly Slater revealed his Lemoore wavepool.

(Reminisce here.)

The 2020 tour, therefore, contains these surfers.

2019 Top 22 CT:
Italo Ferreira (BRA)
Gabriel Medina (BRA)
Jordy Smith (ZAF)
Filipe Toledo (BRA)
Kolohe Andino (USA)
Kanoa Igarashi (JPN)
John John Florence (HAW)
Kelly Slater (USA)
Owen Wright (AUS)
Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Julian Wilson (AUS)
Seth Moniz (HAW)
Michel Bourez (FRA)
Ryan Callinan (AUS)
Jack Freestone (AUS)
Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Wade Carmichael (AUS)
Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Conner Coffin (USA)
Peterson Crisanto (BRA)
Yago Dora (BRA)

2019 Top 10 QS (minus double qualifiers from CT):
Frederico Morais (PRT)
Jadson Andre (BRA)
Matthew McGillivray (ZAF)
Jack Robinson (AUS)
Alex Ribeiro (BRA)
Miguel Pupo (BRA)
Ethan Ewing (AUS)
Connor O’Leary (AUS)
Deivid Silva (BRA)
Morgan Cibilic (AUS)

WSL Wildcards:
Adriano de Souza (BRA)
TBD: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) / Mikey Wright (AUS)