No respect.

At the very end of 2019, I thought for one brief second, that shark and man could live together in harmony. That there was a way forward for us. That we could dance a beautiful tango. The sun came up on 2020, however, and shown its light on a terrible mob of monstrous Great Whites, fifteen to sixteen feet long, very heavy in weight, who had descended upon the peaceful burgh of Yallingup, there in Western Australia, to feast on a dead Sperm whale in such an uncontrolled frenzy that onlookers described it as “an orgy of flesh and blood.”

But you know Yallingup, don’t you? Hometown of Australia’s most beloved surfer Taj Burrow?

Do you disagree?

You think Mick Fanning, Joel Parkinson, Mark Occhilupo, Rabbit Bartholomew, Jack Robinson have more fans, represent the Lucky Country better?

Oh, you are wrong, and much so. Taj Burrow, the perpetual bridesmaid, surfed like we all should, like we all would if gifted the greatest combination of skill, guts and panache. He surfed so good… excuse me, well… that he never once needed a World Title to prove his worth.

Confident.

Though I wonder if his confidence is slipping as he likely watched, through binoculars, those sociopathic apex predators ripping a stately whale to bits? We must turn to Australia’s 7 News for the gory details and try to keep our eyes all the way open.

Two great white sharks have been captured in a feeding frenzy by an astounded fisherman off Western Australia’s coast.

Jesse Gibson and his friend James Powley filmed the 40 minute encounter while fishing about 12 kilometres off Yallingup on Saturday morning.

The four and a half metre monsters were feeding on a dead sperm whale, taking turns biting into the flesh of the floating carcass.

Gibson told Sunrise the sharks circled his boat for about ten minutes before heading to their main meal.

“It made me a little nervous,” he admitted.

I should think “a little nervous.” I should think that I would never ever want to enter those waters again.

The imperial Sperm whale deserved better, don’t you think?

Deserved respect.

Dreams come true!

Now that the calendar has flipped for everyone, for us all, from 2019 to 2020 it is time to sober up and consider the changes we want to make in this new decade. How we would like to perceived by others. What we would like to see staring back from the mirror.

And there is one thing that we would all wear well.

More big-wave cred. Heaps more big wave-cred. So much big-wave cred that it oozes from our very pores.

But how do we get?

Of course we’re not going to paddle out at Maverick, Jaw or wherever, no. We are going to buy a Jeff Trotter Design Skin Surf branded as… “The synergy of style & sport. Surfboards, in a sophisticated and sleek neutral palette of crocodile inspired prints, that are both sculptural pieces of interior art and functional high-performance boards.”

Jeff Stone Trotter says, “I grew up spending endless summer days on the beaches of Santa Monica and Malibu, so coastal living has always inspired my design aesthetic. My goal was to design sophisticated, real boards, that function as beautiful works of art when they’re not out in the water.”

Elle Magazine promises, “The boards ooze big-wave cred, even if they never leave their perch above your mantle.”

Sold?

Buy here!

Pandemonium!

A “monster swell” arrived on Oahu’s North Shore yesterday throwing the sometimes bucolic “country” into absolute chaos. The sound of wailing sirens filling the air. Shell shocked tourists running naked down the Kamehameha shrieking about “the end.” Body surfers gone absolutely stark raving mad and refusing to obey both signs and repeated warnings from lifeguards to not enter the water.

Madness.

Pandemonium.

But let’s not take my word for it. Let’s breathlessly turn to Hawaii News Now for an “on the ground” perspective.

Ocean Safety officials said at least 30 people needed to be rescued from Oahu’s north and west-facing shores.

A body surfer was scolded after he ignored posted signs and repeated warnings from lifeguards at Waimea Bay and visitors ignored the signs and the warnings from surfers who told them they should stay on shore at Shark’s Cove.

One woman got rolled on jagged lava rocks in the tide pools and walked away with bloody and scraped legs

“It’s been an extremely busy day. We’ve had lots of rescues. We’ve had lifeguards performing rescues with fins, tubes and rescue boards, the old-fashioned way and we’ve had quite a few rescues with our rescue craft,” said lifeguard Lt. Kerry Atwood.

“I’ve never seen waves like this before. It’s just amazing and there’s surfers out there. They’re unbelievable catching those big waves,” said Rick Fredericks, who is visiting from Australia.

This swell almost prompted the ‘Eddie,’ but the contest was called off due to questions about the timing and size of the swell.

Quickly now, do you think contest organizers will regret giving The Eddie a red light? Telling the big wave event not to wear that dress tonight etc.?

I do. I think they will regret it very much.

Also, any hint as to who the man man body surfer who got “scolded” would be greatly appreciated.