Breaking: Oahu, Hawaii’s Westside “Birthplace of Mixed Martial Arts” set to receive brand new wave tank!

Welcome to paradise, now you're in hell!

If there is one common refrain seasonal tourists mumble on their way in and out of Honolulu International Airport it is, “Oahu doesn’t have enough waves. Pipeline? Yawn. Waimea? Snore. Queens, Makaha, Off-the-Wall, Sunset, Pupukea, Zippers, Ala Moana Bowls…. booooring.”

Well, ever aiming to please, the state body has tentatively OK’d an inland wave tank and let’s learn all about what is being called Honokea Surf Village directly from Hawaii’s KITV, your home for island news.

Surfing in Hawaii may be getting a whole new look on land.

A proposed park project called Honokea Surf Village could be built on 19 acres of vacant state land in Kalaeloa

The center of it would include a 5-acre wave pool where big and small waves will be generated for pros and first timers. The proposed plans also include a lazy river, skate park, buildings and more.

Total cost of the project is an estimated 72 million dollars.

It’s not clear when construction will begin.

Wednesday, the Hawaii Community Development Authority gave the company HK Management the OK to explore the feasibility of the spot.

KITV reached out to the developers behind the surf village for more details but we have not yet heard back.

Many questions.

Which technology will the tank employ? Wavegarden? Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch? American Wave Machines?

How will localism be enforced?

Will the wave reach 50 feet every eight or so years for a possible running of the Eddie?

Many, many questions.

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Johnny Utah
Johnny Utah
6 years ago

As long as I can score some Hawaiian “ice” and enjoy the company of one of the local lady boys I’m all for it.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
6 years ago

Surely a bigger need for more affordable housing over more waves?

Robyn Ryan
Robyn Ryan
6 years ago

How big is the parking lot. And where?

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
6 years ago

Wave Pool$.

?uzzled
?uzzled
6 years ago

As weird as it sounds, it’s fronted by BK so there is local credibility.
I don’t think that all of these announcements will come to fruition. Where I live, the site of the announced wave pool sits undisturbed almost a year later. Maybe the front person can’t find enough financing due to high risk and low reward.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
6 years ago

Honokea Surf Village enforcers getting ready to show these haoles what localism looks like… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

I’m backing The Sharks. All those Jets seem to do is crash and burn.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

There’s a place for us …. I just hope Natalie Wood’s board will float ?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

I want to live on the West Side
We can have fun low and high tide
When there’s no waves and no school
We can hang out at the wave pool …..

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

You can disguise this article all you want Chas, but we all know that when localism sets in at this tropical oasis it won’t be a story about the Wolf Pack, rather a sordid tale about the Pool Sharks.

Stephen Wolfram
Stephen Wolfram
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I think the Water Jets will have something to say about that with their turned up collars and sharp blades, snapping fingers in unison.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Ha! Art reversing life. Does this mean that Wasted Youth will turn into Pool Sharks?*

*Get fucked. This is a multi-layered quip and deserves respect.


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