If there is one common refrain seasonal
tourists mumble on their way in and out of Honolulu
International Airport it is, “Oahu doesn’t have enough waves.
Pipeline? Yawn. Waimea? Snore. Queens, Makaha, Off-the-Wall,
Sunset, Pupukea, Zippers, Ala Moana Bowls…. booooring.”
Well, ever aiming to please, the state body has tentatively OK’d
an inland wave tank and let’s learn all about what is being called
Honokea Surf Village directly from Hawaii’s KITV, your home for
island news.
Surfing in Hawaii may be getting a whole new look on
land.
A proposed park project called Honokea Surf Village could be
built on 19 acres of vacant state land in Kalaeloa
The center of it would include a 5-acre wave pool where big
and small waves will be generated for pros and first timers. The
proposed plans also include a lazy river, skate park, buildings and
more.
Total cost of the project is an estimated 72 million
dollars.
It’s not clear when construction will begin.
Wednesday, the Hawaii Community Development Authority gave
the company HK Management the OK to explore the feasibility of the
spot.
KITV reached out to the developers behind the surf village
for more details but we have not yet heard back.
Many questions.
Which technology will the tank employ? Wavegarden? Kelly
Slater’s Surf Ranch? American Wave Machines?
How will localism be enforced?
Will the wave reach 50 feet every eight or so years for a
possible running of the Eddie?
Many, many questions.
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"I hate you."
Revealed: Great White shark attacked Mick
Fanning in South Africa due intense personal hatred for Australian
champ not over color of board!
It seems like an entire lifetime since
Australian champion Michael Eugene Fanning was attacked by
a Great White shark whilst surfing a heat in South Africa but it
was only 2015.
The greatest moment in World Surf League history? Yes,
especially since surfing’s governing body has only been around
since 2015. Or maybe 2014. In any case, I image that day fired
co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff’s capitalist spirit. I bet he
saw the spike of international wall-to-wall coverage and thought,
“People love professional surfing!”
Of course he was wrong and also rude to think about such things
as Mick Fanning was struggling with the heavy existential question
of “Why.” Why had the shark tangled with him and not Julian Wilson
or Jordy Smith or Gabriel Medina? What had he done?
After much wrestling, he deduced that it was the color of his
surfboard that led to the terrifying incident and let’s reminisce,
briefly, with Time
magazine.
Australian surfer Mick Fanning—who made headlines around the
world last month after he fended off a shark attack in South
Africa’s Jeffreys Bay on live television—was back in competition
for the first time since that incident this weekend, but without
his trusty yellow surfboard.
After hearing that some divers called the color of his old
board “yum yum yellow” because it is thought to attract sharks,
Fanning opted to swap his yellow board for blue and black one,
Australian news portal news.com.au reports.
Well, a brand-new, just released scientific study directly
debunks the “yum yum yellow” theory and let’s turn to everyone’s
favorite SciTechDaily for the
latest in a provocative article titled: “Fascinating Shark and Ray
Vision Evolution Research Reveals Sharks Can’t See Colors.”
In his team’s new study, they have shown that all
cartilaginous fishes, similar to the marine mammals, have lost the
SWS1 and SWS2 opsin genes. Sharks and rays do contain both rod and
cone photoreceptors; however rays possess two cone opsin genes
whereas sharks have only one cone. Sharks therefore were found to
have lost the ability to see colors.
“Furthermore, we provided measurements of the spectral
characteristics of the visual pigments expressed in nine species of
ray and two species of shark,” said Hart. “We can now confirm that
all the shark species studied to date appear to be cone
monochromats but report that in different species the single cone
opsin may be of either the LWS or the RH2 class of
opsins.”
“Broadly speaking, color discrimination may be useful for
behaviors such as prey detection, predator avoidance, and mate
choice. Given that many ray species spend considerable periods of
time resting on or partially buried in the substrate, color vision
may instead aid in the detection of approaching overhead predators
through either enhancement of visual contrast or elimination of
achromatic flicker.”
So, since sharks can’t see colors it can only mean that the
Great White attacked Mick Fanning there in South Africa due an
intense personal hatred.
What had Mick done?
How should he now feel?
Is there a way for the World Surf fLeague to further
monetize?
More as the story develops.
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Discretion advised when swimming with
Whites.
Shark fisherman reveals secrets of Great
Whites: “Three-second memories, cage diving doesn’t teach ’em to
associate humans with food (but) if you’re in the water with a
hungry White you’re finished!”
I just hung up the phone with a forty-year vet of the
South Australian fisheries industry, a guy I won’t name
’cause emotions run to boiling when it comes to Great Whites.
And, who needs either side, the killers or the huggers, twisting
your words to either hang or beatify you?
Figured he’d have an interesting take on the animal that he sees
almost every day he takes his little boat out to get his piece of
the ocean.
On attacks: “I’d hate to see a shark attack on a
person. I’ve seen ’em hit other shit and they’re no different to a
Bull Mastiff dog once they get a bit of a sniff in their nostrils.
If you’re in the water and there’s a hungry White you’re
finished.”
On cage-diving boats attracting Whites: “One shark
expert I met from Holland suggested that shark boats don’t have any
bearing because they don’t have that repetitive memory. I agree.
But while they may have three-second memories, they’ve got their
engraved compass of life, what they do, where they travel to, that
stuff’s in ’em, and that’s why they go to places like the Neptune
Islands, but the will to survive overcomes everything. If they
smell something they’ll have a look. If the Pointer’s just eaten,
he might swim right past you. Others are starving and they have a
completely different attitude.”
On behavioural differences between Whites: “They’re a
big, beautiful creature but some are dumb as dog shit or haven’t
developed a fear for anything while others, usually older one, are
more agile more wary. All have different characteristics. Some will
break the surface, for instance, while others won’t go near
it.”
On Whites and water temperature: “They don’t like the
warm water. It’s gotta be sixteen or seventeen degrees. Down around
Cactus, the water’s been too warm. There hasn’t been any close
encounters or even real legit sightings since 2000 when Jevan
Wright and Cameron Bayes were taken.”
On the prevalence of big Whites: “The numbers are
increasing but you don’t see as many sixteen-or-seventeen footers
anymore. It’s been years since I saw I big one. But lots
of little one, five-to-twelve feet. No tags on ’em either and
they’re tagging ’em flat out.”
On beached dead whales: “Going surfing within
twenty-miles of a dead whale is a no, no. Whites are steaming up
and down the coast and can’t find it because it’s out of the water
and they’re losing their minds. The big night tides wash all the
oil, this big puddle of stinking dead whale out to sea, and the
sharks follow it.”
On culling: “It’s cruel. If you can’t dance, don’t go
to the party.”
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Breaking: John Florence and Kolohe Andino
will not be “allowed” to protest for Hawaiian sovereignty at the
Tokyo Olympics!
If professional surfing is known for one thing
it is that its professional surfers, passionate, wise, knowledgable
love to use their elevated social position to shine light on
various injustices happening across the globe.
From Rwanda to Darfur, climate change to the Syrian Civil War
professional surfers are there making their voices heard, making
our voices heard but alas, this summer in Tokyo when professional
surfing makes its Olympic debut there will be no fists raised in
the air to demand Hawai’i regains its brutally stolen sovereignty.
No knee on the ground when the usurper’s flag floats above Brazil’s
and Australia’s and the usurper’s song plays loud.
For it was announced yesterday that the International Olympic
Committee, responsible for rules etc., has decreed there shall be
no protests allowed. No protests of any kind.
What? You don’t trust a surf-themed tabloid with predilection
for sharks? Well, let us turn together to Jeff Bezos’ The Washington
Post for more.
The International Olympic Committee warned athletes Thursday
not to participate in specific forms of political protest at the
2020 Summer Games in Tokyo, including kneeling, political hand
gestures and wearing or holding signs or armbands.
The committee published a three-page document of guidelines
to fortify Rule 50 of the International Olympic Charter, which
states in part, “No kind of demonstration or political, religious
or racial propaganda is permitted in any Olympic sites, venues or
other areas.”
“We needed clarity, and they wanted clarity on the rules,”
Kirsty Coventry of Zimbabwe, chair of the IOC Athletes’ Commission,
which helped create the new document, told the Associated Press.
“The majority of athletes feel it is very important that we respect
each other as athletes.”
But aren’t professional surfers wild rebels who refuse to do
what the man tells them?
Yes. We were all cut from a contrarian stock and I think John
Florence’s, Kolohe Andino’s, protest for Hawai’ian freedom will
bring the iconic moment of these Games.
Mele Kalikimaka!
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Kitchen Confidential: New Jersey officially
bans harvest of “sexy” shark fins thus increasing vicious,
“man-eating” Great White population by 72 million!
And oh no, oh drat, oh hell because that’s
where we are currently living. Smack dab in the middle of a Great
White, Tiger and Bull hell. You well know how they’re eating us by
the tens. You well know that scuba divers, soccer players and
surfers, especially surfers, are considered delicious crudités
amongst their vicious, man-eating numbers but, real quick, would
you like to hear a funny story?
For years and years I thought crudités was pronounced
“crud-ites” and would order them thusly at fancy restaurants. “Yes,
garçon, I would like the steak frites but bring the crud-ites
first.”
Embarrassing except… whatever. I’m an Applied Linguist by
education. Language is what we make it.
In any case, there are soon going to be 72 million more Great
Whites, Tigers and Bulls swimming around The United States’ Eastern
Seaboard as New Jersey’s governor just banned-ish the illegal
harvest of tasty, libido reviving shark fins but this issue is
extremely serious and we must not take my word. We must turn to
NorthJersey.com for
truth and reconciliation.
Shark fins will be banned in New Jersey next year under a
law signed Thursday by Gov. Phil Murphy.
The new law is designed to end the shark fin trade, which
kills about 72 million sharks a year, primarily for soup, according
to Humane Society International. Shark fin soup is a delicacy in
Asia, but the method of making it poses a threat to the
fish.
Sharks are caught and their fins are cut off while they are
still alive — a practice known as shark finning — before being
released back into the water to drown or bleed to death. At least
70 shark species are at risk of extinction because of the practice,
according to the advocacy group Wild Aid.
“Shark fins are often obtained in a very inhumane manner
that causes much suffering to the animal,” Murphy said in a
statement. “I am proud to sign this law that will prevent the catch
and release of sharks for the purpose of cutting off their
fins.”
The ban takes effect Jan. 1, 2021, but it doesn’t
necessarily mean shark fin soup will vanish from restaurant menus.
The Animal Welfare Institute maintains a list of restaurants it
found serving shark fin dishes in states that have enacted
bans.
Wait.
There are more than 3 shark species? There are 70?
