Breaking: John Florence and Kolohe Andino will not be “allowed” to protest for Hawaiian sovereignty at the Tokyo Olympics!

Time for rebels to rebel!

If professional surfing is known for one thing it is that its professional surfers, passionate, wise, knowledgable love to use their elevated social position to shine light on various injustices happening across the globe.

From Rwanda to Darfur, climate change to the Syrian Civil War professional surfers are there making their voices heard, making our voices heard but alas, this summer in Tokyo when professional surfing makes its Olympic debut there will be no fists raised in the air to demand Hawai’i regains its brutally stolen sovereignty. No knee on the ground when the usurper’s flag floats above Brazil’s and Australia’s and the usurper’s song plays loud.

For it was announced yesterday that the International Olympic Committee, responsible for rules etc., has decreed there shall be no protests allowed. No protests of any kind.

What? You don’t trust a surf-themed tabloid with predilection for sharks? Well, let us turn together to Jeff Bezos’ The Washington Post for more.

The International Olympic Committee warned athletes Thursday not to participate in specific forms of political protest at the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo, including kneeling, political hand gestures and wearing or holding signs or armbands.

The committee published a three-page document of guidelines to fortify Rule 50 of the International Olympic Charter, which states in part, “No kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas.”

“We needed clarity, and they wanted clarity on the rules,” Kirsty Coventry of Zimbabwe, chair of the IOC Athletes’ Commission, which helped create the new document, told the Associated Press. “The majority of athletes feel it is very important that we respect each other as athletes.”

But aren’t professional surfers wild rebels who refuse to do what the man tells them?

Yes. We were all cut from a contrarian stock and I think John Florence’s, Kolohe Andino’s, protest for Hawai’ian freedom will bring the iconic moment of these Games.

Mele Kalikimaka!