There will be blood.
2020 might just be the end of the world. Sharks are circling viciously, Hurley is making a full line of feminine sanitary products, claims will now become an epidemic and a nuclear Iran has likely lost control of its paramilitaries.
But what is most troublesome, worrying, is the coming broadcast war. The violent, scorched earth, take no prisoners conflict that will pit Joe Turpel against Ron Blakey, the 1989 World Champion against the 1988 World Champion, Sal Masekela against his own embarrassing professional slide from E! television host to Kelly Slater’s best friend in the whole wide world.
Only one, or maybe two, will be in the booth when surfing makes its Olympic debut in Tokyo later this year but who will it be? Who will go down in history as the official voice of surfing?
It will be a brutal bloodletting as onetime friends and podcast partners Chris Cotê and Todd Richards face off. As David Stanfield crawls out of the grave, hungry for human flesh and “big hacks off the top.” As Dave Wassel and The Woz power flex their wonderfully sculpted titties. As Peter Mel.
But seriously, who will NBC tab to call the action? Who will bring our Pastime of Kings into the living rooms and hearts of America’s living room? I know that Australia will have its own broadcast team but those on it will certainly be the first losers (Ron Blakey).
America is what matters. The gold standard and I think we should put some money on this. I think we should set up a betting pool.
J.P.? Can we do this? Do you know of a way?
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Elo all the way
Two Brits who host The Surfing Show should probably do it.
They are considerably more entertaining and don’t give two shits.
https://youtu.be/8GnszFYOF0U
Fucking idiots. It will be Sal Masakela.
Rissa’s mother is Chinese/Hawaiian. It’s a very common mix in Hawai`i of that particular generation.
BTW all Hawaiians are proud to represent the USA as olympic representatives from Hawai`i going back over 100 years starting with Duke
Actually based upon your logic of needing a Hawaiian name to validate being Hawaiian, you are wrong. Kolohe Andino must be at least half Hawaiian so the USA team is actually 25% Hawaiian.
You sounding ignorant dude and obviously are not from Hawaii. You are questioning how “Hawaiian” someone is just based on their looks is a simple way to get cracks in the Islands. You do not need a Hawaiian last name to validate being Hawaiian anymore than you need an African name to validate you’re black. What century are you living in? Carissa’s younger sister went to Kamehameha. You need a certain amount of Hawaiian blood to get accepted there. Lum is Chinese. So is Lau. Perhaps you’ve heard of another name in Ho, that is not Hawaiian either. Neither is Moniz. Nor Garcia, nor Jaquias, nor Gomes, nor Foster. These are all Native Hawaiians. You need to just crawl back in a hole bro.
Strangely enough even the whiter than White ….Santa Monica White (world) Surf League recognizes them as Hawaiian and the QS and Junior surfers from Hawaii , be they Kalanis or Kevins or Vahines , surf in the region Hawaii / Tahiti Nui ?
Not advocating for or against it… but it is with 100% certainty that Sal Masakela will get the gig. This is THE MOST watched sporting event in the world. There is no way a major network takes a chance on anyone who has no experience on a larger level other than webcasts.
Carissa Moore is Hawaiian ….brah.
No one seems to be advocating for the George Brothers.
As if kelly won’t be the voice of the Olympics, how else is the cunt going
Brad Gerlach, Shane Dorian and Joe Rogan.
As surfers we all have a connection to the history lesson ?
Jed Smith 100%.
Free the wazzzzzzz.
and they will have hair.
anyone but cote. he’s not the face/voice for the world to associate surfing with
he does seem perfect for wsl tho. Slater the obvious choice.
I quit surf commentary to focus on my new gig, Hosting the Oscars … wish me luck.
They are looking for something super vanilla after Ricky.
You might have a shot.
The ghost of Oscar hosts ….. they decided not to have one again this year ?
You seppo’s get that loud mouth cunt who does the what only can be described as wrestling styled commentary. He used to be a fixture in the Hawaii events. Who is he again? You guys get that fuckwit.
That would have to be David Stanfield or Surfer Joe Turpel.
Dave’s good!!
Not Dave Wozzle you peanut.
Lord TALLY HO Blears ! Unfortunately he died at the ripe old age of 92 in 2016 ….
https://www.hawaiinewsnow.c…
Corky Carrol , Jackson Dorian and Occy. Done.