Competitiveness never takes a day off.
And the accomplishments just keep stacking up, one on top of the other on top of the other. Youngest professional surfer to ever win a heat. Oldest professional surfer to ever win a heat. Eleven World Championships. BeachGrit‘s 2020 Man of the Year runner-up, just a few votes behind our friend the Great White shark.
But what can you give a man that has achieved everything?
Shoot his Oi Rio Pro contest singlet into space of course and let’s read how this monumental event came to be. Let’s study the fine print in Florida Today.
International Space Station astronaut Christina H. Koch, who has shown a love for surfing, even watching live telecasts while orbiting Earth, and photographing coastlines, recently displayed Slater’s signed No. 11 jersey from the Oi Rio Pro contest in Brazil, where the 47-year-old American lost to eventual winner Filipe Toledo in the Round of 16.
The jersey reached the ISS during a re-supply mission, undoubtedly thanks to the efforts of the World Surf League and NASA.
Kelly, himself, took to Instagram and let’s read his fine print too.
So my @wsl Oi Rio Pro Jersey made its way into lower earth orbit on the #ISS to my friend @astro_christina who is spending 11 months up there! (Her side hustle is taking pictures of coastlines/potential surf spots around the globe for me!) We recently did a live chat so I could get the lowdown on the Space Station. This coming Friday we will be doing a live public chat. When I have the details I’ll pass them along. In the meantime, give me some ideas below of questions you would ask an astronaut spending the years in space…what they eat, how they stay entertained, how much time they just gaze at the earth, etc. I wonder if we’ll get any flat earthers?
A wonderful time and place to bait flat-earthers. Perfect even.
Do you think they’ll engage?
Very quickly, though, do all Kelly’s competition singlets list every one of his championships?
More as the story develops.
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Why just yesterday I told a girl named Victoria: “Girls levitate around Kelly Slater.”
And today that is true, as Christina Koch floats around as she answers Kelly’s questions.
How do you like them apples?
Qs: How is the Sushi up there?…and, how is the weed you grow up there? Does it get you really high?
Is there anyway we can put Dirk Ziff and the Wsl into orbit?
In answer to your question Chas, yes. Yes they do.
I honestly have nothing cynical to say, that is really awesome.
I think it went over his head.
A follow 11 Mission?
Might as well since 12 will never get off the ground.
kelly….the king of cringe.
His rashey had to go to space via Kazakhstan.
Wow wow wee wa
It’s nice
I like.
Make Kazakhstan Great Again
I wonder if this means the spaceship can feign injury and by-pass orbiting Brazil now?
Or instead of revolving around the Earth have the Earth revolve around itself.
Reporter: do you want to make it to space one day?
Kelly: sure, I mean, who doesn’t want to, you know. But it’s not like I’m training day and night to become the most elite athlete the world’s ever seen so that I’ll be selected to man the escape mission when earth’s population collapses from a GMO vaccine pandemic, I mean that would be weird? Right? But I don’t know, I’m playing golf with my buddy Felix Baumgartner tomorrow and he’s always offering to drop me into high orbit using his Red Bull balloon, just to acclimatise myself, you know, so maybe I’ll do that, I’ll just have to see how my foot feels, I don’t know.
I can’t find any documentation of the most fundamental space experiment.
Space bonking.
Let alone space jerking.
I guess blow jobs and swallowing are a sure thing in space.
I’m actually pretty certain there’s been a zero gravity pr0n video shot before. On my work phone tho so i ain’t googling
https://www.pornhub.com/vie…
What have i started!
I’m already finished. The little lady came home and walked into the bedroom right as I was watching the video. Didn’t take long. Now I’m back to catching up on Beachgrit.
I have no doubt the russians have been all over it.
Prudey NASA denies
Will Robinson and Dr Smith early pioneers
That one flew right over everyone’s head.
Not yours!
She went from suck to blow.
Isn’t that ‘side-hustle’ a bit sketchy?
Using publicly funded technology to scope out new land for development by private enterprise? (Using ‘development’ in the loosest term)
Look, it’s gluten-free and hardly has a carbon foot print once it’s up there. Gravity doesn’t cost much you know?
The International Gravity Banking Consortium has pegged gravity to:
6.674×10−11 m3⋅kg−1⋅s−2.
I’ll bet a canister of Lairds superfood crap was already up there. And it boosted itself into orbit with a SUP paddle.
Kriiiii-iiikkkk
{Tail wiggle}
Skweeeee- er er er er.
{bubbles from anus}
Well that escalated quickly.
It sure did, I thought dolphins farted out of their blowhole.
And why wouldn’t it? Kelly’s bottomless well of narcissism inspires many to pass gas… even dolphins.
I was talking about the tail slap. I mean, that’s next level.
You’re mistaking pride in achievement and concern for others with narcissism.
Kelly’s a good dude.
He has nothing left to prove, ergo he is not a narcissist.
Get a dictionary.
Get a life.
Strong words.
Ke11 is so good, he’s got chicks in space with eyes on every goddam ocean tipping him off about new waves. Fuck google earth, this seems like a more goaty approach.
The flat earth neck beards won’t be able to resist, I’m sure they have a de-bunking of what astronauts see, with their own eyes, from space.
I had the pleasure of reading his IG in real time while the flat earthers spewed their nonsense. Yes they have de-bunking for every thing we (globers) believe to be true. One did say about Kelly and globers: “these gnostic masonic puppets are low level globehead minions” which was pretty epic.
Amazes me that Kelly has the time or inclination to bother with it.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The secret spot Kelly doesn’t want you to know
Ha! Edge surfing! The latest VAL craze