A proud day for surfers everywhere!
If you have a young daughter, or had a young daughter at any point during the last fifteen years, then you are certainly aware of American Girl Doll phenomenon. The popular figurines have their own megastores, cafes, salons and complex storylines that “cover significant topics such as child labor, child abuse, poverty, racism, slavery, animal abuse and war in manners appropriate for the understanding and sensibilities of their young audience.”
Each year, a “Girl of the Year” is introduced. 2019 brought us “Blaire… a girl from Hudson Valley, New York with a passion for farm-to-table fare and some food sensitivities.”
This year brings us Joss, a hardcore HB local and let’s meet her together.
On the beaches of sunny southern California, Joss Kendrick™ can’t wait to hop on her surfboard. But is she ready for a new way to fly?
As a girl who’s all in when she takes to the waves, Joss won’t back down when her brother dares her to try out for the cheer team. What Joss expects to be a silly sport turns into something much more as she discovers the girls on the team are real athletes. Now that she’s waded into unfamiliar waters, will Joss sink—or soar higher than she ever has?
Follow Joss’s story as she strives to reach new heights while uncovering a whole new side of herself.
Now, Joss is has a slight hearing problem and comes with a removable hearing aid but, of course, that doesn’t stand in her way. What might, though, is this new interest in cheerleading. If Joss expects to follow in the proud footsteps of Kanoa Igarashi then she will have to focus, exclusively, on her air-reverse game.
And not getting swept into the underage bacchanal called The U.S. Open of Surfing where young teenaged boys and girls are dragged into a whirlpool of unthinkable debauchery.
The American Girl Dolls come with many accessories. I can only hope one of Joss Kendrick’s is a bottle of pepper spray. I also hope she is not part of Hurley’s flow team.
Much heartbreak.
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JOSS ! WATCH OUT FOR THOSE BARNACLED COVERED POLES …..BANG CRASH ! Oh no …..it’s a tragedy , her hearing aid was turned off . …..this never would have happened had she surfed the Machado Left ! Suppose she could take up Cosmology ….. ? They like waves ….don’t they ! ( please note no doll was injured during the making of this comment ) .ps Was shopping at Xmas and was happy to see big bum Barbie in a variety of skin tones !
Or American !
I own one. Unfortunately it’s almost impossible to use without getting shocked.
I read about tests done with it where it was attached to a tuna as bait underwater and attached to a trolled seal decoy.
When used on the tuna it was somewhat successful but on the seal decoy it managed to turn the shark away on every attack attempt while a control decoy without the device was hit multiple times. Small data set, but it’s a start.
#recycling(comments)
True story: Bought one of these for my niece as she asked for it as a Christmas present. So I got it. Took it home. She unwrapped it on Christmas morning and then calmly walked in to her Dad’s garage, got a hammer…. and then smashed it to pieces. I’ve never been so proud. It was the Colorado one – whatever year that was. A cowgirl as I remember.
not so ultra hard surf candy
BeachGrit should’ve made a crying Jordy Doll instead of an air fresher and negotiated a marriage deal with Joss.
Maybe the WSL could release its own surfing doll?
Pull his legrope to hear your favourite catch phrases like ‘couple fun ones out there’ ‘just taking it one heat at a time’ and ‘Are you sure you’re 18?’
“Whooo, some shade time there!”
“Crossing now to the ’89 world champ…”
“Want to see under my hood?”
I’m kinda proud that, even though I was trying very hard, I couldn’t remember that one.
They could tie it into a series where she goes to 3rd world countries to learn about sanitation, clean drinking water, cannibalism and feminism
Sounds like a clockwork orangesque torture ….. strapped to a chair , forced to watch on loop , a Cornish longboarder go on a once in a lifetime experience …. the horror the horror .
I thought you were going to say the lightly disabled part of the doll was that she was a goofy and really launch a new wave of surfing racism. Turns out Joss has more than a few disabilities.
Also, while I never had girl children, I do occasionally get to compare the experiences of my friends who have with mine. One friend in particular, man’s man, (surfs Hawaii on the reg, drummer in successful band, etc) has three daughters. They have him wrapped around their fingers and his home life at least is a scene of ever increasing explorations into how far daddy can be feminised. On the other hand, after a morning surf with the elder, I’m off to a go kart racing track, and then to choose a new skateboard set up with the boys.
I have a boy and a girl.
My girl is 6 and will win any fight with my 10 YO boy.
CB , Australian Girls ….. DON’T FUCK WITH THEM ….. ever !
her slight hearing problem might be exacerbated by chronic ear infections if she keeps surfing HB..
Should fit in the with most Brazilians on her wave.
They usually have hearing problems too.
I used to think that too but it’s just how they talk.
I read “Lightly Disabled” and thought that being a surfer meant she was already “Heavily Disabled,” due to inherent cognitive deficit…
… and Joss? I would think that her parents would’ve wanted to give her more street cred and named her something like Agrippina The Younger or whatever…
“Agrippina The Younger”… Isn’t that a highly sought after beer from northern California.
Are we talking Marcus , the VIPs Anus , Aggripa ?
Her maternal grandfather. Her parents are Germanicus (who professionally goes by “Helmut Stefan Bauer IV”) and Agrippina the Elder.
Danke sehr Herr Doktor Professor Von Fanningstadt .