Kitchen Confidential: New Jersey officially bans harvest of “sexy” shark fins thus increasing vicious, “man-eating” Great White population by 72 million!

Oh hell.

And oh no, oh drat, oh hell because that’s where we are currently living. Smack dab in the middle of a Great White, Tiger and Bull hell. You well know how they’re eating us by the tens. You well know that scuba divers, soccer players and surfers, especially surfers, are considered delicious crudités amongst their vicious, man-eating numbers but, real quick, would you like to hear a funny story?

For years and years I thought crudités was pronounced “crud-ites” and would order them thusly at fancy restaurants. “Yes, garçon, I would like the steak frites but bring the crud-ites first.”

Embarrassing except… whatever. I’m an Applied Linguist by education. Language is what we make it.

In any case, there are soon going to be 72 million more Great Whites, Tigers and Bulls swimming around The United States’ Eastern Seaboard as New Jersey’s governor just banned-ish the illegal harvest of tasty, libido reviving shark fins but this issue is extremely serious and we must not take my word. We must turn to NorthJersey.com for truth and reconciliation.

Shark fins will be banned in New Jersey next year under a law signed Thursday by Gov. Phil Murphy.

The new law is designed to end the shark fin trade, which kills about 72 million sharks a year, primarily for soup, according to Humane Society International. Shark fin soup is a delicacy in Asia, but the method of making it poses a threat to the fish.

Sharks are caught and their fins are cut off while they are still alive — a practice known as shark finning — before being released back into the water to drown or bleed to death. At least 70 shark species are at risk of extinction because of the practice, according to the advocacy group Wild Aid.

“Shark fins are often obtained in a very inhumane manner that causes much suffering to the animal,” Murphy said in a statement. “I am proud to sign this law that will prevent the catch and release of sharks for the purpose of cutting off their fins.”

The ban takes effect Jan. 1, 2021, but it doesn’t necessarily mean shark fin soup will vanish from restaurant menus. The Animal Welfare Institute maintains a list of restaurants it found serving shark fin dishes in states that have enacted bans.

Wait.

There are more than 3 shark species? There are 70?

Oh… shit.

Oh……..shit.

We’re officially finished.

And so are Chinese libidos.

More as the story develops.

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PalC
PalC
6 years ago

Stick with being a linguist as you suck at science, facts and writing articles.

Anastasia
Anastasia
6 years ago

There is no scientific evidence that backs up that shark fins (cartilage) improves sex drive and fertility.

Joshue Gee
Joshue Gee
6 years ago

Its articles like this that both convince and condone the killing of sharks. There are an average of 3 deaths per year by shark. More people die each year by elephant attacks, and yet we instill fear amongst people by creating articles and headlines stating how much of a “man-killer” sharks are. Why are there no articles stating how important sharks are for our eco system and manage stability amongst reefs.

Horrible article!

Carie Evans
Carie Evans
6 years ago

They wouldn’t hesitate to snatch us up & inhumanely rip our arms or legs off. Do unto others….. Lol. Have fun with that u righteous & easily offended nutcases.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

Processed and manmade in a Laboratory vs a natural product?
No argument there.

My body is a temple.

Steph
Steph
6 years ago

Nice fear mongering here, I see.
Christ, there is already so much unwarranted fear of sharks (me included) that people think Great Whites actually HUNT humans. **sigh** They do not. I have a healthy respect for the beautifully terrifying creatures. I still swim in the ocean 🖤 lol

Anastasia
Anastasia
6 years ago

Please shut the fuck up. This article is done so unprofessionally and the “facts” are false (eg. shark fins provide libido? They really don’t….)

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  Anastasia

Actually it does work… my stamina has increased 10 fold. Also my Shark cartilage hair loss pills have basically halted my hair loss.

pontianak
pontianak
6 years ago

Bollocks, the Chinese will allways eat the surplus,as they are now doing with donkeys.lmfo.

?uzzled
?uzzled
6 years ago

I have no love for sharks but what is it with the Asians eating weird shit for an erection? Is it really feeding a desire to increase their penis size or is erectile dysfunction a serious problem for them?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Gas station nachos?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Ancient Chinese Secret.

FugginRambo
FugginRambo
6 years ago

Then than can we eat the meat of the indigenous Snooki sweet in a can then?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago
Reply to  FugginRambo

Yum, Snooki’s giant clam lips. In a robust seafood sauce, red or white, depending on the moon phase.

Rhett Corbett
Rhett Corbett
6 years ago

Shark fins “Sexy” WTF ? If Jersey people are like the crap.💩 tv show . The sharks would not eat them anyway. They would choke on these wannabees. And to the lowlifes that catch sharks & cut their fins off & dump them back into the water. I would do the same to u . But chop your arms & legs off & dump you in the ocean. I bet u wouldnt like it. LOWLIFES.

Bart mason
Bart mason
6 years ago

Consider the source:new fuck Jersey.what a liberal cesspool

Richard Head
Richard Head
6 years ago

If it’s that easy to be a reporter these days, sign me up. Apparently you can say any bullshit you want and not have to use proper grammar.
This MIGHT be less reliable than FOX news.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Richard Head

That’s unfair. BG works hard to provide up to the minute facts on a wide variety of made up topics. But is in now way able to compete with BIG FAKE news.

Richard Head
Richard Head
6 years ago

What an idiot. Besides his butchering of the English language, he’s more worried about his dick than inhumanely slaughtering millions of beautiful creatures. The ocean is where sharks live and if you enter their home, you’ve chosen to take a risk…a very minimal one at best. Sharks are killing 10’s of us? Where does he get his facts? Maybe worldwide, but not off the NJ shoreline. Even if that was accurate, again, it’s your fault for being in their home. Also, that’s a pretty small # considering the millions that enter the water per year. More ppl die per day in car accidents than by shark attack every year.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Richard Head

Once more for the people at the back.

Steph
Steph
6 years ago
Reply to  Richard Head

Please know that in my mind & soul, I am up-voting your reply about 100 times. Fckin idiots.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Steph

Are you guys questioning BG’s journalstic integrity?

?uzzled
?uzzled
6 years ago
Reply to  Richard Head

I think that you should not be so closed minded to the perspectives of this article.

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
6 years ago
Reply to  Richard Head

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” Mark Twain (maybe)

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago
Reply to  Richard Head

Ummm, so believe he was butchering the French language, not English. The whole earth is our home. And theirs. Survival of the fittest.

Allen Steele
Allen Steele
6 years ago

The Porbeagle Shark has not been seen since 1988 in the Atlantic and is thought to be extinct from the fins being removed

?uzzled
?uzzled
6 years ago
Reply to  Allen Steele

Success!

Allen Steele
Allen Steele
6 years ago

By the way there are over 300 species of sharks

Allen Steele
Allen Steele
6 years ago

Most of the shark fins are from the blacktip shark and from the mud sharks, because they are so abundant in North Carolina it’s the lemon shark and the Carolina hammerhead sharks. The great white, tiger & bull sharks are just not as many and to dangerous to harvest with any regularity. These three are the only documented cases of a human being attacked, so naturally they made these three villains. The bull shark also lives in fresh water usually at a confluence. It was never proven that the shark fin soup can increase libido or vitality. It’s a myth. If someone cut off your arm you’d live someone cuts off a fin the shark dies. How is that fair?

Alison Tews
Alison Tews
6 years ago

Sharks are awesome. I’ve swum with them, no problem. More people get hurt in car crashes in one day than 50 years of shark attacks. Male libido, not so awesome, causes a lot of problems. I prefer the sharks.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Alison Tews

Sure, they play this game of pretending to be cool, but all it takes is one rogue to change your mind.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

We owe our very lives to shark fin soup.

rwvbwl
rwvbwl
6 years ago

So ah, who here has eatin’ shark?
I seem to recall, many years ago,of Mako bein’ tasty…
This 475lber was caught off~shore of New Jersey thee other day, you gonna eat some?
https://a57.foxnews.com/sta…

Link: https://www.foxnews.com/gre…


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