Overtweezered man, the "jackhole" and relaxing woman.

Airplane seat etiquette: Are you a damn-the-world recliner or a head-rest drummer “jackhole”?

Check your privilege!

Here’s a little ditty that went everywhere, a woman throwing her seat back on a plane and a bespectacled man with over-tweezered eyebrows responding with an insistent drum-beat on her head rest.

The little clip got sold to an agency, hit millions of views, tens of thousands of retweets and got turned, naturally, into a men-brutalising-woman thing.

Sadly, neither party had an abundance of melanin thereby removing the important racist angle; a mistake, I think, as the reclining woman represents unthinking colonialism occupying foreign territory and the over-tweezered man the brave native with only his hands to fight such advanced and overwhelming weaponry.

https://twitter.com/steelersfanOG/status/1226346795741143040?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1226346795741143040&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailymail.co.uk%2Ftravel%2Ftravel_news%2Farticle-7999799%2FEtiquette-expert-William-Hanson-declares-verdict-American-Airlines-seat-punching-incident.html

The common conclusion, among reasonable citizens, I think, would be: two pests both as annoying as hearing the scurry of critter feet on the ceiling boards at night.

I’m not a recliner.

Take it back an inch, maybe, long-haul, but the good citizen wedges a pillow against the wall or on the head-rest and deals with it. A smart traveller will bang a foursome of sleepers and wake up in Denpasar, Singapore or half-way across the Pacific.

If you want to sleep, buy a biz ticket.

Once, on a fifty-minute puddle jump, a clown threw his seat into full recline with a contemptuous thunk as the plane started to climb, jamming me into my seat.

Couldn’t eat, couldn’t move.

I didn’t respond with a gentle tattoo on the head-rest.

Now, you, friends, some countrymen.

In what camp do you fall?

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
67 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
6 years ago

Just this morning while returning from Mexico I felt compelled to tell the fucking nerd in front of me about the inner most ring of hell reserved for those who use the recline button on a full flight.

Erik Bogan
Erik Bogan
6 years ago

The official rules are as follows ;
– Long haul recline all you want except for meal time
– 2 hours of less keep it upright
– if there is a cute girl next to you stay upright and talk to her. Pretty strong change you’ll get in her pants the next night. And if she is travelling without her man it’s even more of a certainty.
– if you have issues with other people, fly business. If you can’t afford it, deal with it.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

Been passed around much?

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

Just ’cause you can doesn’t mean you should. Common courtesy goes a long way. Try reclining on a FIFO flight and see how many friends you make.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

You can’t plan for everything, just broad moves to drag the whole nation in the right direction.

Tom
Tom
6 years ago

I’m small height but semi wide shoulders – last flight o/s to Germany sat between a bloke who was 6’6 in aisle and lady who was 140kg plus at window!!! Spent the whole flight Sinagpore to Munich shoulders angled sideways – was fucking ropable. The only good part, I kid you not she was a camel and didn’t get up once to go toilet or move. Was considering the Arnie move from think Commando where he kills his passenger with blow to the snoz and props them up with a pillow – would have been both sides!!

michelspatisserie
michelspatisserie
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Man it bewilders me on long haul flights when people don’t make an appearance to the aisle. How good their blood must flow and the capacity of their bladders and bowels

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Adult diapers or colostomy bag?

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
6 years ago

Ooooh. Jail. Scary.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

I was backed into on my last flight. 9.5 ish hours worth of being crammed into my shitty middle of four seat in cattle class. It was a small female and I didn’t tap, nor complain. She was the only person who peeled back in the row in front, and being short she didn’t need to. I felt aggrieved but smashed three very effective benzo’s and a bunch of whisky to ease the pain. The bloke does looks very söi böi esque in this story.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Benzos are key to a good air travel experience. Mixing with booze is very effective but, for me, can run the risk of annoying/startling other passengers with loud sleep apnea snoring. The kind where the loud snoring escalates to a death rattle gurgling sound and people think I was actually dying, which might’ve been the answer to some of their prayers.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Yeh cabin crew joke about how they would leave their passengers for dead in an emergency situation. I’m pretty sure the survivors are those who punch kick and thrash as hard as they can toward the exits.

Tom
Tom
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

yeah and then you pretend to inflate lifejacket before you get, out so everyone else inflates and is stuck on the ceiling as the plane fills with water

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

No recline and no drum beats. On shorter flights the whole plane should have bar tables and drink service throughout the flight. Paid access to a recline couch should be sufficient for the lazy and only downside I can see is for cabin crew who will be busied moving on the insolent from the recline seats.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

Bernie Sanders. Reclining is not the woes of the First Class.
https://www.redstate.com/al…

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Dude, he wrote a few books that sold OK and he’s on a decent salary as a Senator. He deserves his leg room as much as the next man. He’s had a bit of success nothing wrong with that. He’s not fighting success that is just a baseless weapon used by his opponents to quash his campaign.

You Americans seem to have a twisted view of what Social Equity and fairness is. It is not about everyone having exactly the same thing. It is more about setting up society to help those who need a bit of a leg up when appropriate. Not about curbing opportunity for those that are already successful. OK so maybe Amazon and Facebook will pay more than zero tax if Bernie gets in – who gives a fuck about a few bucks from those parasitic businesses. Maybe the minimum wage will go up to $15 – yeah it should be higher even. Maybe education will be paid for by the state and student debt will be cancelled – good, even though I’ve paid mine off it is better for society overall if young people don’t have this yoke around their neck. You all might get some level of health care too – fucking rad, my Great Unlce was very proud of the little input he had in that in Australia and we were proud of him.

Socialism is not Communism. You currently have Socialist policies that help big business and the rich – who bail out Wall St when they fucked up? – you did! Ain’t no free market (no such fucking thing in our current systems anyway) in that bail out.

Feed me some Briefbarf shit if you like. Or ignore me.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Just recline and relax a little.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Pfft unlikely.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

If only they were more like, um, some other country.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Ha they seem to like Russia at the moment.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

I think who his running mate is will be the interesting thing as they’ll be Pres at some stage if he gets up

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Sanders crusading against capitalism and demanding us commoners give up air travel, our cars, heating our homes, etc while flying in private jets is a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?
Healthcare here is good, IMO. There’s always room for improvement but the notion that it’s nonexistent or horrendous is false.

vive45
vive45
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

We have all that already. SSi, ObamaCare, UI, free public education and that’s just Federal. Thing is, the left here never stops, it’s never enough. The left never says, ‘you know we’re good now….safety net’s in place….we don’t want a hammock…don’t wanna make things too easy’. Always more, keep pushing. If sane people never pushed back against these clowns (BERNIE), we would have been North Korea 30 years ago.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  vive45

It never ends!
The gas tax that Newsome wants to use on his rail projects rather than for road maintenance and improvements. The constant bond measures that supposedly fix schools but low and behold another bond measure on next ballot. The money grabbers in Sacto constantly trying to gouge prop 13.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I’m surprised he actually flew commercial. Private jets are his normal jam.

Urchin Sepsis
Urchin Sepsis
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

That article is hilarious! The author has a serious case of zero self awareness. The author asks of Bernie supporters “Do his average Joe supporters believe he’s really like them?” Don’t ask that question to Orange mc Tiny Hand’s toothless Mountain Dew Appalachian band of Deplorables he calls his base.
Then he asks “Who wants a financial failure put in charge of the government?”
Trump supporters. That’s who.

vive45
vive45
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

His look is classic: “Oh crap, what if the Bernie bros. see this!” Did you see the one last week where Fauxcohauntus upon exiting the private Gulf Stream she was travelling on realized she was being filmed and quickly shuffled behind staffers. Private jet travel not good optics with the new green deal crowd. All of ’em frauds.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago
Reply to  vive45

I love that Trump Rallies are showing attendance of 25%-30% Democrats. That spells huge problems for the communist, the gay guy and the woman no one has ever heard of.

vive45
vive45
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Yeah….landslide incoming.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago

Recline all ya want I say
The trolly dollies will let ya now when to get upright (takeoff, landing, feeding times and storms)
At times during a decent length flight (anything over 5hrs) I will recline, but not immediately and not for the whole airborne duration.
If it’s a 12 hr plus flight I’ll probably recline for about half of it.
If someone in front of me reclines when I wish to sit upright I find no fault with that, as I’d presume the person behind me will have a similarly relaxed attitude to public transport relaxation.

The worst thing is kids kicking ya seat, I’ve found it best to tell the kids (in front of their parents) that that isn’t a suitable thing on planes
If it carries on, I tell that to the parents (in front of their children).
If it continues to carry on I ask the trolly dollies to take care of it and bring me more lager….

Oh yeah, i’ve been making regular international flights since 1978 and have only been cautioned once by trolly dollies for my behaviour, and that was two years ago because a mother behind (and across the aisle) complained that I was laughing loudly during certain (apparently to her) ‘rude’ scenes in one of the legal free movies the airline provided and it was bringing my screen to the attention of her two young sons.
I made an official complaint to counteract the foolish mother’s bullshit.

Oh for the days when we’d all stand up the back smoking and laughing whilst drinking nonstop from London to Sydney (and vice versa etc) and had a couple of fuelstops with more smoking, laughing and drinking…

michelspatisserie
michelspatisserie
6 years ago

Or opt for the emergency seat at the price of being accountable for all passengers to exit before you. The water might be up to neck level by the time it’s your turn, but at least no fucker reclined in front of you

Rumpelstiltskin
Rumpelstiltskin
6 years ago

Is this one of those first world problems?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

The recline function is there to be used. At any time apart from feeding time.
I won’t fly unless attended to by svelte Asian nymphs .
I refuse to be hit on then talked about in the galley by bitchy Aussie queers.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

I believe the recline function is a lingering evolutionary curio like the appendix. Back when the pitch between seats was 35 inches. You got it, don’t use it.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Pray you don’t sit behind me then matey!!

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

How will I recognise you? By the red rose in your lapel? The dirty tracksuit pants with the wide leg openings?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

The Gemini adapts to any situation
Comfortable with tweaked Blacktown housewives And the iciest Dover heights Jewess

Tom
Tom
6 years ago

Gemini hey me too!!!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Tom

I can tell.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

Def this cunt in trackies haha.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

I enjoy having options
Alas I fear you are stuck with the face only a mother could love

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

Nah, doing good.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

We’ve never really had much of a rapport have we?
Here’s to new beginnings!!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

Righto.

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
6 years ago

Just for arguments sake what would you do bex if mid flight I just punched you right in the back of the head? I only ask because I really considered this approach earlier today

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

I’d be rather annoyed and we’d probly male the 6 o’clock news.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Persistent! Like head-rest drummer boy.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

Annoying?
Jackhole?

Pro-BG sentiment, now owns legs.

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Surf industry apocalypse be damned!

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

You rule, JP.
I wish I could send you a whole Hurluley ensemble.

Next we’ll start ‘BachGrit’ – UltraHard Classical Music Candy.

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I’m so confident in Hurluley’s commitment to carrying me through the rest of my surfing “career” and into a comfortable retirement, that I’m ready to move my relationship with the brand up a few notches.

It’s tattoo time!

I’m thinking a small logo on one of my hairy arse cheeks will offer the best marketing potential, for when I bottom turn in my g-string. Just like Alana Blanchard, but infinitely more off-putting.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

I feel there might be more specialised websites to monetise the physicality of your latest proposal.

Don’t go giving them buns away for free!

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

Im from that school of unfailing English /antipodean/not American courtesy whereby I’d neither recline my seat nor complain about somebody else doing it.

The only time I’ve taken actual umbrage was when somebody in the row behind slid their stinking, socked foot into my seat gap.

All parties involved in this incident sound like arseholes.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

I saw a quasi-femmie boy comedian last night, Hunter Hill, set consisted of how he just got married, girl too good for him, how fat he is, and he looked just like this gets-diddled-by-truckers clown banging on the seat. Repugnant.

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

I’ve known a few Brontes in my time but that takes naming yourself after Sydney suburbs to a new level.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

And he’s from LA.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

I recline. All the way. At 6’4″, 240 lbs it still feels like I’m locked in a vice grip. I don’t care if the person in front of me reclines, and give zero shits if the person behind me is bothered by my reclining. Never had my seat kicked, punched or drummed, but imagine it would only take a look from me to end any such conduct.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Are you bear or jock? The fat man rarely terrifies, only entertains.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

Jock with bear paws.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Offensive lineman or running back?

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

Outside linebacker

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Recline away, daddy.

f u
f u
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

tight end

Numbnuts
Numbnuts
6 years ago

Team Sciatica is with the recliners

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
6 years ago

Well, Mona’s not wrong. If I was sitting next to Karen I would have white-knighted the shit out of it and clocked him right in the grill. Bald cunt.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

Yeah, me too.


67
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x