No large drinks... or musubis.
This Democratic presidential primary season, here in the United States of America, has seen an unprecedented attack on surfers and the surfer way of life. Who would have ever imagined that the party of acceptance, of benevolent social love, would field a candidate as viciously surf hating as Mayor Pete Buttigieg?
As Hillary Clinton before him?
Scary times for us and our families and it would behoove us all, or at least us all Americans, to crowdfund a large piece of property, fortify it, fortify it again then put signs up that declare “Drive Like Your Kids Live Here.”
I meant “Keep Country Country.”
But I worry if we build our dreamland in Hawaii it will get bombed off the face of the earth, along with Jon Pyzel* and us, because another Mayor has surged to the lead but this one hates our roots, our Hawaiian roots, and is also merciless and extraordinarily rich.
Oh the horrors and… I’m currently in Hawaii right now. I won’t say where but…….. Maui. Working on my air game etc. Working on a very nice tan etc. And Hawaii’s time zone allowed me to watch last night’s Democratic presidential primary debate live feat. Mike Bloomberg for the very first time which terrified.
Students of history will recall that Bloomberg outlawed extra-large sodas when he was mayor of New York. A personal, deep-seated vendetta. A violent bloodlust.
Students of surf will know that Hawaiians favor extra-large sodas to all other sizes as well as Spam Musubi.
Spam Musubi is, no kidding, my favorite food.
But back to extra-large sodas. I fear, truly, that if Mayor Bloomberg becomes President Bloomberg his first official act will be to bomb Hawaii off the face of the earth.
We cannot let that happen.
Save our Spam (Musubi).
*Do think Jon Pyzel ever considered changing his name, slightly, to John Pyzel in order to form the Super Team John John John Florence?