Official: Multiple “extra-vicious” Great White sharks refusing to leave Florida’s waters, shattering long-held assumptions!

No more Gorkin Flips.

Floridians have long become accustomed to three things: Voter fraud, heart-attacks via combination of Hooter’s spicy wings and hooters, amputation via alligator, Castro hating, bad math, Gorkin Flips and shark nibbles via curious blacktip sharks.

Oh those blacktips ain’t mean, ain’t vicious at all, just bi-curious, and in this day and age is that so wrong?

A crime?

Absolutely not but a larger menace has arrived and refuses to vacate.

Great White sharks.

And it had always been assumed that the extra-vicious “man-eaters” only passed by the Sunshine State en route to somewhere better, either north or south, but just-released data suggests that they are staying put, much like elderly New Yorkers and let us go to the News Press for the absolute latest.

Several large tagged white sharks have “pinged” off the Sunshine State coast in recent weeks, with a handful popping up in the Atlantic Ocean and more recently in the Gulf of Mexico.

It’s nothing new to nature, but it is novel to Florida folklore, which has commonly said white sharks don’t come here.

“I hear from people all the time who are excited because Florida now has white sharks,” said Tyler Bowling, program manager for the University of Florida’s International Shark Attack File, “but they’ve always been here.”

The OCEARCH sharks that have recently pinged in Florida waters range from the 11 foot, 6 inch male known as Nova to the smaller 8-foot, 9-inch male called Brunswick.

Both pinged well offshore of Southwest Florida this month. A third recently pinged off the Panhandle.

Coronavirus or Great White? Floridians are going to be taken down by one of the two, or maybe both, seeing that many cruise ship also abuse the state.

If you were allowed to choose, which would you pick? Death by toothy beast or death by Carnival?

Much to ponder.