VAL-friendly, too! "Aloha! Care for a surf lesson? It looks like you might need a few pointers." | Photo: RLSD

So long Coffey sisters! Meet surfing’s brave new provocateur: “I have an articulating internal skeleton which allows you to pose me in all kinds of nasty positions!”

VAL-friendly sex doll! "Aloha! Care for a surf lesson? It looks like you might need a few pointers. That rental board could use a nice wax, for one."

They say a good product sells itself.

Take, for example, the electric surf fin. I know an electric surf fin may get you excited, no paddling, roll-in takeoffs etc, but not as much as a new product from RLSD.

It costs $US1999 and is being touted as the most revolutionary invention in the surf world since Simon Anderson affixed three fins onto a board.

Meet Bree.

Aloha! Care for a surf lesson? It looks like you might need a few pointers. That rental board could use a nice wax, for one. You’ve been looking over here for a while! Now some girls might not like to be gawked at so much, but I’m open minded. Lucky for you! I know you don’t have a lot of experience, but there’s a nice swell coming in, and it’s the perfect time to go for it. I’ll show you what to do. First, you want to get on all fours, and paddle like crazy. Once you see the wave rising, get up on two legs and go for it. Don’t worry if you take a pounding – I know exactly how to handle that. Assuming you survive, we can have a little fun together! That was your original idea, wasn’t it? I can feel your gaze boring into me. Wouldn’t you like to have your way with such a pretty little surf bunny, with her long blonde hair, flawless bronze skin, and tight, athletic body? If you play your cards right, you can put your hands all over this perfect, soft and realistic TPE sex doll. I feel astonishingly life-like. You’ll want to touch me all over. I have an articulating internal skeleton, which allows you to pose me in all kinds of fun and nasty positions. Let your imagination go wild! I might be a doll, but unlike your little sister’s Barbie, I’m completely anatomically correct. Care to discover the details? I love the sand and surf, and I’m always wet!

Do you love sand, surf, wet things and articulating internal skeletons?

Buy here. 

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madmaxmedia
madmaxmedia
6 years ago

Sorry be that guy, but do they have assholes?

capn birdseye
capn birdseye
6 years ago
Reply to  madmaxmedia

asking for a friend?

madmaxmedia
madmaxmedia
6 years ago
Reply to  capn birdseye

Yes, for my friend…Dick

Les Grossman
Les Grossman
6 years ago

is there a cum “purge” button? She`ll be a heavy weight after a week

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Les Grossman

Username checks out.

FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
6 years ago

I want to know what in the world you were searching for to happen upon this? Or maybe not…

michelspatisserie
michelspatisserie
6 years ago

Anyone from Aus want to buy from Vissla?I have a 40% discount code that will expire by end of week and I’m not going to use, free to good home. Clause is you must purchase a beach grit parephnalia

Antipodes
Antipodes
6 years ago

I want to know if it runs Futures or FCS2?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Antipodes

Either, but only in single fin mode.

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago

I’ve already promised my fruit-farmer-themed sex doll Pomegranate that I won’t take on any more dolls. I’m really regretting that commitment. But if I’m going to go back on my word like that then really, what kind of a world are we living in?

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

a masturbatorium.
You know it’s true

Greenroom Times
Greenroom Times
6 years ago

Hope she can at least keep the phone in either portrait mode

longtom
longtom
6 years ago

wonder if there is any demand for after-market accessories like removable tramp stamps?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

Why does she tell you/us/them to wax our rental boards. And.. why would a real surfer rent a goddam board?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

I always rent them in the philippines

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

Fair enough Bex. I guess I kinda missed the mark there. I’ve actually rented a log in Hawaii once too. But as a marketing pitch.. I dunno.

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago

Not sure he’s talking about boards pool boy

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Billy Hunt

I am actually.
I refuse to travel with anything bigger than carry on.

abs(ə)nt
abs(ə)nt
6 years ago

Just imagine having a fake fuck prior to fucking up a fake wave. It’d be fucking unreal, literally.

longtom
longtom
6 years ago
Reply to  abs(ə)nt

new world order

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  abs(ə)nt

Sell me the surreal right now where do I sign up?

madmaxmedia
madmaxmedia
6 years ago
Reply to  abs(ə)nt

And maybe a low-carb Michelob Ultra after that

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
6 years ago

$exy.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Has it got a “beast mode” setting?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

Straight outta tha box

astro
astro
6 years ago

Chas was right ! This is a red letter day !
Two articles in one day on BG containing informed analytical research.
I have to add that I think this offering is firmly aimed at the “Goggins” niche market.
She just has to say, “You turn like Gerry.”

Kook Kahanamoku
Kook Kahanamoku
6 years ago

Target market: VALs who pretend to like surfing so they can creep on girls that actually surf. Here you go mate:
http://www.theinertia.com

longtom
longtom
6 years ago

I know who my “plus one” will be if I ever get the invite to Kelly’s tub.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Do you still long to go?

astro
astro
6 years ago

I’ll bet you get more click $$$$ off this than any of your other wizard schemes, like the miniplayer terror inflicted daily.
I have to admit the closet suspension kit roused my interest.

longtom
longtom
6 years ago

only if it involves drinking whiskey at the Tachi with you and Chas the night before

michelspatisserie
michelspatisserie
6 years ago

Can someone come up with an Eric Geiselman joke on my behalf

astro
astro
6 years ago

In the spirit of Bicko I will step up to the plate, michel. He woulda been all over this.

Eric and Barb can’t become a couple
That would be barberic

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  astro

I miss that big lug!

?uzzled
?uzzled
6 years ago

She is inflatable so you could ride her on a wave, right?

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

She gives a new take on fucking up a wave.


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