For me. For you. Come on, get happy!
I am not good at Instagram, nor fluent, but fate had me in my messages when the benevolent @socalgary wrote “Kelly live on instagram” and posted a link that featured Kelly Slater live on Instagram chatting with urban folk singer Citizen Cope.
Immediately, I placed my drink on the zinc counter and began typing their dialog with the understanding that I would form up some proper story later.
I have since had another drink and here are the raw notes from watching a portion of Kelly Slater and Citizen Cope’s Instagram live.
Can you find a story herein?
What would it be?
Otherwise, bon appetite.
Kelly: “If you ever look at the Darwin awards you see injuries worse than mine.”
“Kelly’s friend: “Give you all the money in my pocket if you can do a backflip off tramp.”
Kelly: “Under-rotated. Worried about landing on butt. Gonna put feet down but worried about breaking toes so busted all the cartilage in kneecaps. My five bones in my knees didn’t fuse to one, they fused to three. Went to doctor got an x-ray. Gonna cast you for three weeks. Mom, EMT ‘That’s not a break.’ Tripartite patella…”
Kelly: “Struggled with that for four years.”
Kelly: “Won first world title with hurt knee.”
Kelly: “School should be a lot shorter because it has been proven that people only have 20 minutes worth of learning.”
Kelly: “I was doing math with them and they were doing common core math and I was like who the hell did this? This is stupid! I was completely baffled by how they were doing math. Don’t bring that around anymore. Don’t do that.”
Kelly: “Wavepool is I think doing good. I think shut. I haven’t checked in so I don’t know.”
Kelly: “I look around at the surf world, my world, so many more people in the water and every company’s got no money. Don’t these people have to buy something from someone?”
Long song by Citizen Cope… staring into camera all awkward etc. Kelly took it like a champ. An absolute champ. I’ve never seen someone watch someone sing a song better.
Kelly: “I used to play When Doves Cry. So simple little songs. Same with Jack’s songs. So simple you can keep up for sure.”
Kelly: “Writing a song, meditation lasts for a few months or years.”
Kelly: “That mayor up there (in Washington D.C.) didn’t help. He was there banging chicks in hotel room.”
Citizen Cope: “Well…We all loved Mayor Berry. He was doing a bunch of good stuff.”
(Kelly starts washing his hands then pours a cup of water totally destroying the sound and making Citizen Cope’s face sad.)
Then I went for another drink.