Equally scary and rude.
The beaches are closed, the world cancelled,
surf breaks policed, Ministry of Health gestapo jackbooting through
parks, public squares, shopping center common areas swinging
six-foot long billy clubs and smirking. Those not smacked in the
head are severely vibed by neighbors in full protective gear for
daring, daring to asymptomatically shower the world with
their likely Coronavirus infection.
But where is a man supposed to take his pregnant fiancée for a
little space? A little fresh air and responsible social
distance?
If that man and his pregnant fiancée live in Western Australia,
near the famed Margaret River etc. then out fishing on a ski. Far
from others. Catching a dinner that has not been coughed upon at
the grocery store.
And that is where we find Simon Tien, forty, a paramedic at a
mining site in north-west WA, five hundred clicks inland from
Exmouth, and his pregnant fiancée. Simon does one week on, one week
off, although in the apocalypse it’s now two weeks on two weeks
off. Nightshift worker, deals with medical emergences etc.
They’ve been doing a lot of fishing lately because the surf has
been so crowded.
Responsible.
So, they’re fishing off the back of the ski and caught a big
two-foot King George Whiting. “Unhead of down here,” Simon says and
a queen snapper. Just before sunset his girl hooks a big
jewfish.
A Prize sorta fish.
She’s fighting the thing until exhaustion at which point Simon
takes over, eventually pulls it in and…
…just a head.
A menacing calm fills the air. Silent. Even the various
Coronaviruses hovering about are still. Frightened.
Then the shark appears as if a sick joke. A violent prank.
Initially, Simon doesn’t know if it’s a juvenile White or a big
Mako. It’s eight feet long, has the white belly etc.
“Same markings. But it was stealth,” Simon says.
Shark.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-ukB0_Dxrd/
It swings back around and tries to bite Simon on the foot, which
is resting in the ski’s gunwale, then has a go at biting the
transom of the ski. Really digging in with all its vicious,
exceptionally depraved might.
At which point Simon hammers the throttle and makes a run toward
the shore.
“It was an adrenaline rush with a pregnant fiancee,” Simon says.
“It had big eyes and it came straight out of the water. I thought,
fucken hell, is this thing going to get us? One of those crazy
situations.”
Classic Australians. The sort you’d be lucky to share the
apocalypse with.
“We both though it was pretty fucken good.”
Simon says he’ll use a sled off the back of the ski to put a bit
of distance between him and the next shark.
Wise.
