Chas Smith (left) and Erik Logan in happier times when touching was allowed. Very annoying.
Chas Smith (left) and Erik Logan in happier times when touching was allowed. Very annoying.

Revealed: Ben Gravy, Kelly Slater, Erik Logan and Chas Smith four of the twenty most annoying people in current surf history!

Chris Cotê too!

This quarantine life, this unparalleled journey we are all on and where are you scrawling marks on the wall? Where are you counting the days of your confinement? Surfing is banned around much of the world, thanks to a San Diego atmospheric something-rather-else who was misquoted in saying that the dreaded Coronavirus gets churned up when surfers hit the lip and sprays into the noses of immuno-compromised folk thereby killing them.

Surfing no more.

But you may recall, days before all this madness, BeachGrit announced its very exciting partnership with The Surfival League. Fantasy surfing made great again and/or for the first time.

The whole shootin’ match was obviously derailed by the Chinese Cold but the geniuses behind have not been laid low and, just today, released their Quarantine House Surfing Edition.

Imagine this thing lasts for one more month. Where would you shelter in place?

I read once and laughed. Read twice and chuckled.

Read another four times and realized these twenty people (plus another few Coffey Sisters) are the most annoying people in current surf history.

Honored to be included?

An understatement.

But, in all seriousness and, as crazy as everything’s gotten probable, where would you bunk?

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Sandy  Johnson
Sandy Johnson
6 years ago

House 4 for the bois. Like to see Johnny Boy and Tudor mix it up. Hope Johnny boi kicks Tudor’s azz.

P.L.Miller
P.L.Miller
6 years ago

Chas is a person?

david
david
6 years ago

Didn’t a commenter here notice that Elo’s nose was bent in his latest offerings to the public? Looks straight in this old pic with Chas. Does this point to him copping a recent belting?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  david

Yeah it sure looks that way in his closeup shot from the other week…

BrooklynBarrelDodger
BrooklynBarrelDodger
6 years ago
Reply to  david

an unmanned SUP carries a lot of momentum

Twinnie
Twinnie
6 years ago

I’d rather spend forever in a house with any mix of the above than ever watch another second of those
cunt-tards, the mad hueys.

Ed
Ed
6 years ago

I’m going into Chas house just to enforce social distancing.

Everyone has to rub there feacal matter all over themselves.

That should help us keep our distance

clomics
clomics
6 years ago

Why pick between the four of these when you can just shoot yourself in the head?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
6 years ago

Of those four, three I’ve never heard of.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

Can I just have the house with the Coffee sisters and no one else.. maybe a drug dealer on speed dial?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

If sisters have a 3 some with you is that incest?
Or just a bit of fun?

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Only one way to find out

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

That would be a lot of fun. Isn’t there 4 of them?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Noone knows how many there are.

Ed
Ed
6 years ago

Are they your sisters or your wife’s sisters?

Clarification needed

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Ed

Coffee sisters.
You don’t shit where you eat.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

House 1, 2, 2 or 4?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

Banned from every surfing comment board in history…
FreeRider was a massive omission from the list.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Haha!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Why?
He’s cool.

frank
frank
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Roy from swaylocks, beyond belief annoying!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  frank

I’ve always loved Roy. Clever man and a master troll.

Mr. Dingin
Mr. Dingin
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Oh, he’s still around. Goes by Samwaters now. Kelp, Tony Carson Big Island… he’s got a million different names. Just look for the … and the — and the “””.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Dingin

Yeah Sams here… I toggle the ban button on and off regularly on him.

MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
6 years ago

the answer is a question…… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  MaxNeoprene

Keala and steph..
Rather have the virus

commenter
commenter
6 years ago

Rather have the virus than be in a house with two girls who surf better than you?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  commenter

Yes!
And cause I might turn them

Shore pound
Shore pound
6 years ago

Both are bagel bumpers?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago

Malia and Lisa Anderson in the same house. That would be hot. Plus Brisa Hennessey.

East of the 5
East of the 5
6 years ago

Can there be a Lost house with Chicken, Randle, Gorkin, Chris Ward, and Gilligan? If so can I move there and wait out Covid-19? Seems like they’d have some great stories and the choicest drugs known to San Clemente.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

What ever happened to Randle? I was asking a few people that a couple months ago. He was always featured for a while.
“Where is he now” type show would be interesting watch.

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
6 years ago

Sorry Chas, but Johnny Boy would beat you to death in less than 24 hours. You will be missed.

Get me my books before you go or leave a note.

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
6 years ago
Reply to  SoCalGary

True, but could you imagine the commentary and replays by Joe Turpel? It would be classic.

Shore pound
Shore pound
6 years ago
Reply to  SoCalGary

I’m pretty sure he’d hit Tudor in the face first.

Sam George’s Hair
Sam George’s Hair
6 years ago
Reply to  Shore pound

I’d put $100 bucks on Tudor. I wonder why they didn’t match Tudor and Kelly in the same house. Seemed short sighted. Maybe too obvious?

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

House 2 is intriguing. You got Doheny with good drugs and pretty funny and into music. Coffey sisters to offset the testosterone and possibly other fun, Eddie Rothman to hopefully work my magic on and get on his good side plus tons of good stories. Freeman is funny which is always good. Dogskin is the wildcard because he might narc people out or try to discourage drug use

MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
6 years ago

As long as I can stay away from that tacobell eating, 14 year old looking, all watercraft riding Kai Lenny ..I’m doing fine

Wilbur
Wilbur
6 years ago

Dipshits can’t count from one to four.

Definitely House 1. I’d have plenty of crystal to smoke with Brucy, I could get tons of blowies from elo, and Ke11y and Lairdmo could help me increase my stamina when I’m plugging elo.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

It’s going to be a long few months.

bruddah
bruddah
6 years ago

Shit, how psyched is ELO gonna be to see his name in the mix…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

All seppos
Makes sense

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
6 years ago

hawaiians are seppos too?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Ricoimmo

If the trunks fit…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  Ricoimmo

Surely there aren’t any other (part) Hawaiians in any of those houses besides JBG in no.4 though…

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
6 years ago

House 2 it’s twice as big as the other two houses, has chicks, plenty of weed, you can try to decipher the teachings of Jedi master curren, and if you get a boner for training and shit you can hang with Barca


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