“One minute everyone’s bored to death talking about Tiger King, the next minute we have the baddest fish in the ocean right under the boat!”

And by now, you have certainly watched at least a few minutes of Netflix’s new The Tiger King, no? The craziest but craziest triangle ever caught on film featuring methamphetamine, missing teeth, gay, mullets, guns, missing husbands, cults, open relationships, missing limbs and tigers.

Very entertaining but also very sad to animal rights activists. Horrifying yet titillating. All those beautiful beasts locked behind bars, being bred for petting then discarded, pacing and depressed.

Many to save. Many to love.

Well, though not as au courant, animal rights activists should feel the same or similar about a 2400 lbs female Great White shark just caught off the coast of South Carolina. Would you like to be maybe horrified but certainly titillated too?

Famous South Carolina fisherman Chip Michalove told FitsNews:

“One minute everyone’s bored to death talking about Tiger King, the next minute we have the baddest fish in the ocean right under the boat,” Michalove said.

Michalove spotted a mammoth shadow lurking behind the boat and knew it was go-time.

The boat-sized white shark circled around Michalove’s 26-foot catamaran and chomped the bait.

“Then she took off like a train,” Michalove said. “She took 300 yards of line in a matter of 45 seconds.”

Michalove — who has caught and released 33 great white sharks in his career — wasn’t worried as the monstrous fish jerked and tugged the line. He’s done this dance with the apex predator of the Atlantic many of times.

“We applied pressure when she was about 15 yards away, then locked the drag and set the hook,” Michalove said.

Mmmmmm.

Excited?

Exitado?

More as the story develops.

An incredible lack of social distance.

We, all of us, are extra aware of our precious senior citizens in these perilous days. When a fine grandpa or grandma walks, slowly, down the street or supermarket aisle we cut wide right or wide left, depending on our politics.

When a silver fox or a silver vixen sits we get up and move as far away as possible.

Not to be rude, of course, and quite the opposite. Out of genteel politeness. Out of providing a six foot plus buffer in this wicked time of Coronavirus.

But do you think Great White sharks, apex-predators, monsters of the sea practice this same level of self-aware social distancing?

Unfortunately they do not.

In a beautiful short film titled Near Miss we witness an extra-large man-eater getting near enough to an introspective senior to head-butt him.

Before…

And after…

Ron Elliot, our new hero, our updated North Star who loves diving alone along northern California’s dangerous shore described thusly.

I was swimming along the bottom and the visibility was pretty good. Then I looked behind me and as I turned my head this male white shark came right out of the gloom. It rammed me with its nose. In my head. Knocked the back of my head forward just enough and then the lower jaw knocked me pretty good. Knocked my head down towards the bottom. Once that happened I knew it was a white shark because I’ve been run into before from behind. So after that I swam around for a bit, just kind of filming it as it swam around me. And then it left. It looked like the shark had come out of an injection mold. It just looked perfect.

You must watch here.

And be filled with a never-more-necessary sense of que sera, sera.

Whatever will be, will be.