"It was pretty shocking and just shows that we share the ocean with many wonderful creatures."
Oh my goodness and oh my gracious I woke up angry this morning. Steamed. Filled to the brim with a malicious rage. A bubbling, boiling rage. A grey pall has settled on California beaches where Governor “Gestapo Gavin” Newsom has just announced that every one of the state’s beaches will be closed, put under the jackboot, in less than 24 hours. Sure, hospitals are at half capacity, the death toll is low and shrinking, the public agitated but Gestapo Gavin has tasted the power, the righteousness, and has made his decree.
I’m angry enough to bake a vanilla cake in his likeness, a touch of caramel to color the vanilla skin frosting, dewy green Skittles for eyes, movie star hair made from cinnamon frosted mini-wheats and take a big bite out of the head.
Two big bites even.
I suppose I can’t take complete credit for the idea as I was inspired by an Australian shark that took out its rage on a playful dolphin near Australia’s New Brighton beach. Shall we learn more from the local Northern Star?
Jonathan Miller’s beach walk came to a grisly halt when he stumbled upon the 2m dolphin with about six bites “at least 30cm long”.
He made the discovery just before 6am on Tuesday when he saw a young woman looking quite distressed trying to care for the dolphin which had washed up on the unpatrolled beach.
“It was clearly already dead,” Mr Miller said.
“I’m convinced it was a shark or many sharks, and surfers need to beware.
“Most of the surfers are well aware of the risks and happy to take them. It was pretty shocking and just shows that we share the ocean with many wonderful creatures.”
Besides the very sad thought of a distressed young woman attempting to caress the dolphin (pictured above) back to life, would you like to know the phrase in the story that brings a tear to my eye?
Many tears even, now rolling down my cheeks but hot and rage-filled tears?
“Unpatrolled beach.”
And… I’m sorry. I can’t continue.
More as the story develops.
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We do it better in Newy
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Poor beautiful playful dolphins, they should be driven into a nice rocky cove somewhere and captured by humans and placed in pools etc for their own safety and peace of mind. While the less desirable ones should be euthanised then portioned for sale in supermarkets.
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Its just a flesh wound.
Those are dolphin bite marks. I’m convinced it was a dolphin or many dolphins. A really fucked up in the head dolphin or many really fucked up in the head dolphins. Or one really hungry Dolph Lundgren but my convinced-ness there is a bit Rocky.