Fruitless discourse!
What a day of surprises.
First, the World Surf League, based in a Santa Monica, California still under a heavy Coronavirus Gestapo jackboot even though the Chinese Flu has been defeated, delivered a stunning missive hinting at further sheltering in place during 2020 but a large-scale overhaul for 2021.
How will that look?
What will that be?
Surprise beyond surprise World Surf League CEO and Commander over the Wall of Positive Noise and Senior Vice President of Tours and Correct Thought Pat O’Connell came upon Dirty Water (subscribe somewhere), a podcast featuring Derek Rielly as David Letterman and Chas Smith as Paul Shaffer.
Don’t believe?
Here, from the intro:
I’m Derek Rielly with Charlie Smith and welcome to Dirty Water, a hit of fruitless discourse where opinion is everything and facts rarely matter.
Whatever you think of us and of our swinging attitudes, we promise you’ll never be bored.
Today on Dirty Water, we’ve got two guests, surprise guests, I guess you could call ‘em.
The first is a former sparring partner of Kelly Slater, a Chicago-born honey blonde with a little vibrating laugh and wrinkles on his face like cat whiskers.
He is a former world number eleven, 1998, a former surf co executive, The Realm and Hurley, and he once told Surfer he wanted to be friends with everybody on tour.
Introducing the WSL’s Senior Vice President of Tours & Head of Competition.
Mr Pat O’Connell.
Along with Patty, is the SUP king of Manhattan Beach; he is the architect of the WSL’s famous Wall of Positive Noise; he is the former president of Oprah Winfrey Network and is the former president of Content, Media and WSL Studios.
He wears clothes in the girly pastel colours of Lucky Charms cereal.
Introducing current WSL CEO and “avid waterman” Erik Logan.
Now.
Erik… Why are you here for this specially arranged session? Pat, I can understand, we go way back. But, I did a little research in our back end and we’ve run one hundred and forty stories with your name in the headline. None have been even vaguely complimentary.
Intrigued?
Even Party Pete has to be horny.
yeah, we are due for our fog season to start tho. The fog line sometimes hovers over my house…1/4 N of coast ..but that sticky mid morning burnoff? Altho compared to the really sticky places (everywhere else) its more like sweater weather. We had some Thai orchid growers stay here for a while…man they just froze, even on the “hot” days. haha.
Ouch
They could at least give them a Latin name.
Would sound a bit more believable
Cavum nigram sounds great
Captain, we are about to encounter a Cavum nigram!!
Roger that, proceed.
Attention crew
You are about to experience a big bang in a black hole.
Right on Cappy!!
In the future, if you would like to trip up someone like Erik, ask him a specific question about money.
Ie: Will any of the pre paid surfer entry fees for cancelled QS events in 2020 be refunded?
Are black holes proven?
Would we have seen either of the elders in a mag or contest?
Derek did a good job taking them to task but I have to say ELO did a good job at telling the fans what they want to hear. Pat seemed more evasive. Will be interesting to see if any of it comes true.
Nah they got him with the Insta bot thing… didn’t buy his story one bit!
Do you think that just doubling up the triple crown title to also be the world title has entered any discussions?
Can’t be the worst solution I wouldn’t think
But I haven’t had an intelligent thought since I tried to kiss Anna Scobie when I was 9…it didn’t end well
Anna Scobie was foxy.
how old are your kids?
Why not “TC” in that case ?
Because that’s short for “Tom Carroll” already.
Because Tom Carroll is shorter than Tom Curren ?
Carroll is……7 letters ……Curren is…….less (I am wicked smart).
DOH !
TK is gender neutral.
What is “TK” ?
It’s a staple of Derek’s podcast appearances and it never disappoints.
So many thoughts after listening to this… too many to list here… but the 2 that I cannot shake at the moment:
1. ELO’s jedi training on Pat O’Connell is stunning.
2. Derek’s labeling O’Connell a politician, after one of Patty’s very first ELOish jedi-say-nothing-at-all jibberish answers to a question was THE highlight of this entire episode. Viva la Derek Rielly… Viva la Dirty Water
Mine was when Pat made a really obvious joke about “shooting Kelly” i think it was the only thing that threw Elo off. Even only for one second.
felt like chas brought his dad to speak for him
beachgrit = controlled oposition
elo 2 – beach grit 0
These two said a whole lot without saying anything. Typical… I had to turn it off as there is no way I can listen to an entire hour of their corporate boardroom BS. Look at the Pipe winners from the last ten years. Only 3 times has the winner of Pipe won the title…. This format doesn’t work, I’m not going to watch a tour where guys like Jeremy Flores are two times world champ.
Pipe Masters results
2010- Jeremey Flores ranked no 9 would have beat Slater for the Title. Slater finished the year with 69,000 points. Second place (Jordy) was miles away at 52,250. Kelly didn’t have a result (that counted) lower than 3rd place that year. Complete dominance until pipe.
2011 – Kieren Perrow ranked 15 would have beat Slater for the Title. KS had 68,000 pts to finish the year while Parko finished second with 56k.
2012- Joel won Pipe and title
2013- Kelly ranked 2nd would have won title over the eventual Mick.
2014- Julian Ranked 14 would have edged out Gabby for the title. Julian only won one contest that year… Pipe.
2015 – Adriano won Pipe and title
2016- Michel Bourez ranked 6th would have beat John John for title.
2017- Jeremey flores ranked 15th would have beat John for title there was a 30k point difference.
2018- Gabby wins pipe and title
2019- Italo wins pipe title.
Yes there needs to be a serious advantage given to the season number 1 otherwise why watch the contests prior to the grande finale. I guess stay tuned for more info to come…
Honestly, the audacity of this fucking guy to come in and think that he can single handedly rewrite the rules for a sport/competition to his liking is kind of amazing. I wanted to believe that they had some of this hashed out before their announcement but after listening to this hour long piece of garbage I don’t think thats the case at all.
WSL managed to find a way to make barrel riding completely unwatchable (wave ranch) and now they’ve found a way to remove actual competition from the tour and turn it into a one day side show…. Fuck this wannabe tennis tour….
I think they first mentioned this possible switch up 2 years ago or so. When Sophie was still CEO.
“At the end of the day” it was all corpospeak.
Good work. And Kelly did win 2013. Mick was gifted through in his roll in head dip.
Fuck Elo looks like a worn out has been!
Not what you want selling a mainstream youth Sport
Elo and Elf won that heat…
I was entertained, thank you.
I enjoyed how Elo was so focused on his messaging that he missed half of the jabs in his direction, chuckled hurriedly and carried on oblivious.