As surfers, it's time to rise up.
Hasn’t this farce run its course? Each day unfurls never-before-seen bizarre twists. Our elected officials chasing rule with rule with rule with rule with ticket with closure. Locking everything down and keeping it locked (save Santa Cruz) in the face of overwhelming evidence that the whole world is not, in fact, Wuhan, China.
Or New York City.
Population of Wuhan?
12 mil.
Population of New York City?
10 mil.
Population of New Zealand?
4 mil.
The entire country of four million people with much hobbits, sheep and open spaces mixed therein.
Social distancing to an extreme level even in the best of non-pandemic times, as hobbits and sheep don’t exist on the same breath plane as humans, but Karen’s gonna Karen as they say and I’m going to post the following piece from Glen “Karen” Scanlon in full because it may well be the high water mark of obscene tattle-taling in our time.
A work of art?
I think yes.
“Mind your own business,” the man sitting in the back of the white van is yelling at me.
I didn’t really catch it the first time, as my headphones are in. So I stare back rather blankly.
“Mind your own business and keep running,” he hollers.
I continue to stand and stare at him. Then I resolve not to mind my own business, hit send on the above picture and skip off.
White van man is parked next to Wellington’s Lyall Bay, where the sea is still pounding after yesterday’s southerly surge. This is on the same stretch of coastline where freak waves left a person in hospital and forced residents to evacuate their homes.
On the other side of white van man, about 20 metres away, where he can’t see them, are a series of people, appropriately spaced, staring out to sea agog. As a poignant reminder we’re in a pandemic, one is wearing a face mask.
White van man, me and the others have been watching a person, who must be his companion, attempting to surf in the large swells. I say attempting, because he didn’t succeed in catching a wave while I spent five minutes standing there gawking.
All around us, right to the other side of the road, are a reminder of the sea’s power – clumps of seaweed, large rocks and silt which has bubbled up through drains.
There’s a man picking his way through, collecting some of the detritus for his garden. Behind us, the airport is completely silent. There is no traffic. The cafe 200 metres away is shut. The shopping centre across the road may as well have tumbleweeds rolling through it. No one else is in the sea. The lady with the face mask is still watching. Everything screams this is not normal.
The majority of people are doing their utmost to help stop Covid-19 in its tracks. They’re sticking to the rules we’ve been begged to follow. Yes, this chafes against our natural inclinations but the terrible price of doing differently is not just our own suffering. The greater good relies on each of us doing the right, the sensible thing.
But for some reason Mr selfish surfer and white van man think they get a special pass.
It makes me angry, so I’m not minding my own business.
Glen, I’m sorry, Karen?
Mind your own fucking business.
More as the story develops.
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Agree. That’s what I say about helmet laws for motorcycles. Proponents say they save lives. Period. So they make a law requiring helmets on motorcycles. Well helmets would save plenty lives too if we were required by law to wear a helmet while driving a car. That will possibly be coming in the future. It would save lives. Do they not see the hypocrisy?? And I live in Hawaii where there is no helmet law, but I almost always wear a helmet.
Totally agree, I spent 6 years in wgtn and the place gets sweet fuck all waves. Was glad to escape and move well away! Great MTB scene there though, I do miss that.
And hopefully we can all go surfing on Thursday, yeeha! Although, I will confirm I’ve got my board stashed in the bushes
In Wiggs We Trust!
I too await the great prophet of glass barbecue holy Scriptures
I thought that was Bexy, hahaha.
Bexy is on the Mt Rushmore of commenters.
Gotta cut these Welly surfers some slack. If they didnt surf this swell they may not surf anything decent again for months without driving to the Wairarapa or Taranaki. Poor bastards just let them surf.
I’m certain there are several big, scary Maori surfing isolated spots throughout the Mahia Peninsula without a thought or worry about “Covid Gestapo” attempting to stop them. And if they tried…….(pounding sound)
Holy shit that was good!
We, as surfers need to step up and start clubbing everyone like a baby seal at the beach.
It will make the vals run away and play golf and surf schools go broke.
Locals with a head injury will now have legit exscues for there behaviour.
WSL will continue to go broke.
Buy a club….and belt anyone you see at the beach support the pandemic!
It’s good for business
Fuck that headline sux.. “Far from Swell”.
Was proper 20ft the day before. Houses smashed and road torn to pieces.
People I have considered good friends for 20 years are applauding the guy for writing that article, and have named the surfer in question.
After living here for all that time, I only recently became an NZ citizen, and now I just want to run away and hide in shame.
I feel for you. Luckily my NZ surfing mates are unified in grumbling about the lockdown (despite largely following the rules) and raging about the sheer volume of self-righteous narks that have come out of the woodwork. It’s annoying but justifiable to disagree with this guy surfing and to have a word with him when he comes out of the water, it’s un-fuvking-believable to abuse your position as an editor at one of the nation’s major news agencies to have a self-righteous hissy fit. The worst thing is the impression that this Glen guy thinks himself a fucking hero because he ignored someone telling him to mind his own business and had the “bravery” to snap a picture and stick it on twitter with a hysterically judgmental caption. Absolute muppet.
We still surfing in Hawaii and i think i read recently that people in AU are still surfing too. Weird that New Zealand wouldnt allow surfing. I can understand California banning it bc there’s just so many kooks there.
I gotta say that’s a lame lazy analogy.
That narc: dick.
That “me special” surfer: also a dick.
They should get together to have a sword fight.
Or at least get the tape measure out to see who’s the most special.
Gotta maintain 2 metres distance ….
Surfer will need 15 minutes to thaw out, some synthetic tracksuit pants and a flask of hot coffee before they measure their social distances, otherwise it won’t be a fair fight.
My moneys on the surfer, no need to thaw.
Karen has physical biological impediment.
If this was post Covid they could dock.
It’s from growing up and being told everyone’s a winner!!
I’m bringing up my kids the way I was brought up.
Everyone’s a loser
Till they prove otherwise.
Haha!
“Life is hard and the world doesn’t owe you shit, get used to it”, “very few people in the world give a fuck whether you live or die”, “do others as you would do yourself”.
-Old man SSD
Virus shelter
I’ve got my brolly up !
I knew you’d blow over that.
This.
It’s the whole sickening I’m holier than thou coz … fuck, I’m green. I fucken run or bike.
You’re a piece of shit coz you choose to surf.
I bike my 50 kms and stay local !
I run for 10 km and stay local !
You drive 2 km and go surfing – you absolute selfish cunt.
Everything now is definatly some other cunts fault.
Fukken fun police, bexy !
They’re watching you too, mate.
When you turn off Google assistant, the cunts at Google turn it back on while you’re not paying attention.
Think I’m gonna ditch this smarty pants phone.
Powered by mighty android ?
The bug ridden piece of shit of an OS ?
Yup
Fuck all those cunts.
Humans are shit and Surfers are shitier than the shitish of the shit…
{Ben can you please edit that}
Impossible to improve on that.
Consideration has been made because you’re a plumber.
Feature worthy, I’d have thought.
Your kind words are moving into a potential era of me featuring all my own comments. Ill start by upvoting my own comments.
A word war will set off the keg
My words are war
Should a word have two meanings?
What the fuck for?
Should words serve the truth?
I stand for language
I speak for truth
I shout for history
I am a cesspool for all the shit to run down in
Ride what thou wilt shall be the whole of thy selfish cunt
Yes the shit white ones mate
”I say attempting to surf, because he didn’t succeed in catching a wave while I spent five minutes standing there gawking”
Love non-surfers view on surfing!
As someone who knows well the surfer photographed and having travelled with him, along with seeing him live on the cam yesterday, I can attest to his ability to actually surf, and surf well.
Please say it was Mads?!?
Nah (Mads knows him), but I will say in your role as South Island’s
Pritamo Ahrendt, you have come across him.
He said he got a bit of a bollocking from the Police and then from a member of the public. They even sent the Police boat around from inside the Harbour which turned up 10 minutes after he’d had strips torn off him. But the waves were fully firing…
I’m no dirty goofy!
(But thanks for your trust)
How dare you x
News just in from my parts… one angry local Surfer taking photos of other local surfers coming in from a surf and lecturing them before a trip to the local cop shop with the evidence.
Police called, remaining Surfers called in and warnings given.
Also a warning given to said nark about breaking Covid rules to drive to beach.
Negatron I am so livid about these so called surfers turning nark.
they are truly “so called surfers”
Great beer at Parrotdog across the road as well.
Wholeheartedly agree… I have a few in the fridge now awaiting me.
Ran out of Bitter Bitch last night :-/
They’re on promo at your local supermarket…
*Laughs in 45 minutes duck diving Ocean Beach*
Ocean Beach and Baja Malibu. Worst beatdowns paddling out I’ve ever suffered. Repeated deposits back on the beach.
I live a few miles south of Baja Malibu right now, for the last 6 years. Same exact conditions. If you couldn’t see the beach, you couldn’t tell which one you’re surfing. It is a mini Ocean Beach here. If you go out when it’s big, hope you’re a good swimmer, cause that little leash is not your lifeguard.
“next to Wellington’s Lyall Bay, where the sea is still pounding after yesterday’s southerly surge. This is on the same stretch of coastline where
freak waves left a person in hospital and forced residents to evacuate their homes.”
So no one should ever attempt to surf there again until non surfer gives the go ahead?
The New Zealand Vichy Government have made a dramatic about-turn, indicating that the coronavirus gestapo will soon be told to stand down from their brutish policing of ordinary surfers, but at the same time, Frau Ardern has in no uncertain terms, declared her ire for New Zealand’s VAL population, saying: “…now is not the time to take up a new activity that you have never done before – it is too risky.”